Hello

I've been picking at my skin for years, but it's only recently gotten bad enough for me to wonder...what is going on here? It used to mainly be just my face, and I think at one time I could control better how much and how often I did it. It's always made me feel terrible about myself. Well, lately it seems I spend 2 to 3 hours a day doing it. It's not just my face, it's my neck, ears, shoulders, scalp, back, and sometimes legs. When I do it, I feel like I can't stop, like I have no control over my hands. They just keep going until they are done without my say in it. I go to bed late because I dread going to wash my face, as soon as I take the makup off I know I will start picking. I leave the water running in hopes it will make me feel that I should stop picking and wash up, but my stupid hands keep going. I spend about an hour and a half in front of the mirror at night. Then when I'm done, it's a struggle to stop myself so I can sleep. I can't read anymore, it's impossible to consentrate. After just one paragraph my hands are picking. I love to read...I hate that I can't anymore. I'm in therapy at the moment...but I can't bring myself to talk about it even in therapy. It makes me feel so repulsive, and I'm afraid of what my therapist will think of me for doing it. My skin looks worse than it ever has. I'm starting college soon, and I'm afraid that this will interfere with my studies seeing as I can't concentrate enough to do reading. I want to stop this...I hope at my next therapy session I can finally talk about this.