OMG i'm not alone

I'm a 43 yr old,kept a secret. When i was little i can't reminber when i did't pick and eat my scabs. My grandma knew and actually encourged me to do so. She said it was meat and it's okay to do so. I never told my folks, i done it behind closed doors. My children are now grown and they have no clue i done this. I was abused as a child by my uncle, he done alot of things that i never got over with. I had to raise my children on my own, ex husband abused me while i was married to him. I never remarried due to that, now my son treat me bad. I never thought i would let anyone treat me like that again. Lately i been really picking my scalp, bleeding and it's very painfull. I kick my son out of my home, he is 22. I'm afraid that i can't get control of this habbit. I'm so alone.