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worried about mental health
Delta is not my real name it's actually just because my name begins with D and delta is for D in the phonetic alphabet which goes to show my shame on this subject
I have always picked at scabs and even more embarrasingly so my nose as long as I can remember maybe going to back to when i was even 3-5 I am now eighteen (and a female). I have scars all over my body although since i was lucky enough to not suffer with ackney, never my face. I also suffer from nosebleeds but only ever from one of my nostrals and usually in the winter. Every scab i have ever had i have picked at it until it could literally no longer be picked sometimes i don't even realise i am doing it, i seem to go in to a sort of trance and only ever come from it when it starts to hurt. I also have picked several moles on my arm away. I have always thought i was just a kid, people and kids pick at scabs and such but when my boyfriend (who i later dumped) and some collegues asked about these scars i decided to maybe look it up on the net and found this and several other information sites about the problem.
I am now a bit worried about my mental health and i am wondering what underlying mental problems this could be a sympton off. I am more worried because i don't suffer from anythign that i have found to be a usual sympton of this like low self esteem or abuse. Like on paper my family is perfect but i don't even really know them and i love them but visiting is just going through the motions, same with my boyfriend who i have ended up spliting up simply because i was bored with pretending. I don't think my image is particularly ugly or fat i am just simply average. I don't have OCD i don't feel the need to do anything else compulsivly like tidy or wash my hands. I have friends who i am close with but as they're all at uni i don't get to see them very much and yet i don't miss them. I spend a lot of time on the computer watching shows (normally sci-fi or supernatural) and also on forum sites playing games, using photoshop and writing scripts.
Infact i probably lied earlier i am not even really worried i am more curious as to what this could mean. I know i am not normal as being in my head is like being very detatched and i often wonder if people think how i do....the best way to describe it is if any of you have seen dexter that's pretty much how i think. I don't get people and many of their emotions or habbits. I don't understand why people get upset over cheating when it's a primal urge, i don't ever feel lust after anyone, i never care if people talk about me behind my back and i think funerals are a waste of money. Not what most people would deem to be normal thoughts. I'm not emocionless by any means. I do get upset and i do feel happy, i would do anything for my friends and i have cared for over 160 birds from chicks and would never wish harm on anyone.
please does anyone feel the same? what could be wrong with me?
In reply to Dear Delta, I had to by Becky77