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I Can't STOP!
I don't know when my skin picking habit began, but I'm guessing when pimples started showing up. So I've probably been picking for like last 5 or 6 years. Wow, seems a lot longer when I put a number to it. And it is probably why I am so shy and have a lack of confidence, because I am always wondering if people can see my scabs and pimples. I just pick and pick and pick till i start bleeding, i get a relief knowing that the pus is out of my skin. And all it does is get bigger and then i pick even more. I am constantly thinking about my pimples and it is often hard for me to think of anything else. As I sit here and write this, it's hard for me to not pick, because i know that they will be there in the morning, just staring back at me in the mirror. I also get occasional body/back acne, which i pick at till it scabs as well.
I know that I have also been biting and picking at my cuticles for as long as I can remember. I can stop for about a week and a half, but then i get stressed or bored, and start right back up again .And i also start biting the inside of my lips if i am not biting or picking at my hands/feet. I think i picked the lip biting up from my mom, because i know she does it too. I always feel like people are staring at me because theres something wrong with me. I just want to get a handle on this problem so that I can be more confident in my life, and for once actually do something about this.
January 30, 2010
I am on a slow road to recovery, SamPres, and I relate to the self-esteem pain. I have been shy since I was a baby, so I can't blame it all on the skin. Sometimes I think picking helps give us (shy people) an excuse to hide. -for me that's one piece of the puzzle, at least.
I have been stopping the habbit gradually over the past several months. I started with loving kindness meditation, which I am still learning. It has taught me about facing pain and about loving myself, and it's been life-changing. I have tried to focus on giving myself a break, being kind and loving to myself, being supportive to myself and non-judgemental about myself (now there's a concept! lol), all these things, I have been really focussing on, and as a result, my focus has moved away from my skin. I have made a point not to focus on the picking itself- (kind of like focussing on excercise and healthful living, instead of calories, when you're on a diet).
Anyway, that's been my approach, and it has helped me a ton. Just thought i'd share and ask what others' experiences have been with this kind of focus.
I know as humans we each have it in ourselves to get a handle on this. Best of luck to you,
Bekky 77