I want to stop this, don't I?

welcome. you have found a site that others with the same compulsion have also found. there's lots of information in the various menus on this site that is very enlightening and helpful. knowledge is the beginning and the means to the end result, as is support. since finding this site i have found the courage to seriously address cpd whereas previously i felt it was beyond me. reading others' experiences and realizing how not alone i am somehow really helped. read as much as you can here and elsewhere online. search out how to help your body heal, what vitamins and nutrients and diet will help the process and what strategies for kicking habits work best. personally, i am on DAY 17 whereas at no time in 20 years previously have i been so determined and so far successful and i attribute it to seeking out information and finding this site offering so much, especially the ability to communicate with others to share experiences and support. i am feeling very empowered and so please that my skin is finally healing and looking better. my urges are seriously diminished. i hope others can accomplish this success too. best wishes to you. i hope you find what it is that you personally need to seriously address your situation. :)

I know how ya feel.....it does feel good to get those scabs off our bodies as if they were some kind of disgusting mutant leech insect that somehow magically found it's way onto our body and started sucking our blood without us noticing. And then when we finally peel those Foreign Mutant Disgusting Leeches off and see that our skin is all smooth and clear again like normal....it gives us a sense of great relief and normallity....even if it's bleeding we just wipe the blood off with a tissue and wash our hands in the sink then enjoy the rest of the day without an infestation of DISGUSTING MUTANT LEECHES all over our body...........until they return again tomorrow (SIGH) The absolute best thing to do is just buy some Skin Sore Cream and wear it on your sores 24/7 with a band-aid for 2 whole days.......even then the Leech Scab still itches and calls us to rip off the Band-aid and attack it........just distract your mind with something else.....don't let yourself get bored......i find even masterbating helps alot.....or just play a game or read a book....ANYTHING to keep yourself busy and distracted from picking

I pick bumps in hopes that it produces white stuff. I get super excited when a bump produces the white stuff and can't wait to find another. I also cry out in pleasure when I get a really good one! It's odd when I put it into words but so second nature too. I don't understand why I can't stop because I have to consciously choose my clothing each day in relation to my previous nights picking session. I will choose to pick a different part of my body if I know I have to wear something in particular the next day. I rules a good part of my life and I just go along with it. I am also a recovering bulimic so the unrealistic image of my superficial body has always been with me. I believe that picking a bump will make my skin smoother and blemish free when in reality it does the opposite. With bulimia I believed that eating whatever I wanted then throwing it up would make me thin when in reality it didn't. With both of these obsessions I was out of touch with reality and miserable. Why don't I want to stop?

Its amazing how not alone I am. I dont actually cry out... but until I get that scab off my whole body tenses up...and once i finish what i set out to do i feel such a sense of relief!!! its like a twisted sense of pride!!! I too feel as though once i pick it off it will eventually be gone and ill be smooth... so my rationale is the more i pick the smaller they get until they are just a scab...so technially never gone!!!!!!!!!!! I resort to tanning before events to help reduce appearance of scars and put tons on cover up on my back and arms.... its horrific. I literally feel as though i have no control over my hands!!! I just got gels put on my nails this weekend in hopes it wold help rather it makes it easier to get the scabs "that are really cured and ready to be picked" my life revolves around this obsession and i feel like a prisoner in my own body!!! no one around me understands!!! My husband hates my bloody pajamas and pillow case as much as i do.... but go forbide he say anything about it.... i literally go into attack mode and and have a panic attack just because he mentioned the obvious!!! makes me feel like im crazy..... as i posted in my itch and hpnotise post.... witch hazel and over the ocunter cortizone has been a god send..... i use witch hazel morning and night and cortiozne i layer on so thick at night its crazy... i leave CVS with 10 tubes at a time they prob think im nuts!! But what it does do, is soften any hard scab making it not as appetizing to pick while im in bed... and over night by morning some bumps are healed an gone.... just got to find a way to stop looking for ne prey one my body!!! i want to gett hyptnotized!!!!!!!!!!!