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bm , 29 Mar 2010

New to forum

Hi, I've been aware that I have a skin-picking problem for some time now, and I really feel that it it time I overcome it, so I am so pleased I have found this forum. In my experience, friendly forums can make a really big difference when you need a little support, and maybe I can help support others out there =o) I am still looking into how best to stop myself, but I thought it might be nice to introduce myself a little. If no-one minds, I will keep my entries largely anonymous, as (and I know it sounds silly), I am ashamed of my skin-picking behaviour. But I will tell you that I am a 22 year old British woman living in France, that I work in childcare (for the moment), and that my motivation to stop is the fact that in 3 months' time, I will be moving in with my boyfriend. Though I think he is aware of my problem, I love him and want to be my best for him. And also for myself! So if there's anyone reading this, I would love to hear a little about you, why you want to stop, how you have stopped and anything else you feel like adding =o)
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wildflower
March 30, 2010
welcome ! it is great that you have found this forum and yes, hopefully we can be a support for each other here and help find solutions. i have explained my history a bit and described my recipe for putting an end to my habit in various topics within this site. rather than repeating myself here i hope you'll seek those posts out. it is great that you have a goal but i do fear that your reason might set you up for failure. i believe you would have a better chance for success if you approached doing this for yourself, not a boyfriend. if your relation breaks up you are almost giving yourself a reason to have a set back. to do it to be a better you for yourself would make you be accountable to only yourself. the long and the short of it is that i searched for the magic bullet, the magic pill, the magic solution, always the magic external to make me stop destroying my skin. fear of a potentially serious infection motivated me into action to research wound healing and began my thinking that i simply had to take more responsibility for my actions and i went from there. i am 35 days free of picking and i am doing it for myself with what i believe is a basically simple and effective committed plan. i wish for the same experience for everyone with this compulsive behaviour. <3 <3 <3
bm
March 30, 2010
Hi wildflower, I have read a lot of your most recent posts. It is nice to get some feedback! I hadn't considered that doing it for my boyfriend could be a set-back. You are right, however, after some soul-searching, I am not only doing it for him. You see, I am quite emotionally unstable, and he has supported me above and beyond anything I could ever ask for. So in a way, trying to look my best for him (and doing it independently of him, too) is sort of for him. But it is also for me. It will make me feel more confident, and 'grown up'. I don't know if you are familiar with "acne exorciée de jeune fille", but for me it is the case that I do pick my skin a lot as I am quite a pretty girl (not stunning, you understand, but okay-ish) living in a country where it is socially okay for men to approach pretty girls, and I grew up in an environment where that didn't happen. So by picking, I am putting them off, keeping my comfort zone to myself. That is just one of the reasons it has gotten worse since I arrived, and it is not my only picking motivation, but relevant in the motivational context. Good for you for the 35 days!!! I have pretty much only managed 24hours so far, so I appreciate just what a goal that is!
wildflower
March 30, 2010
yes, i've read about the condition you mention. it's rather sad to feel the need pick to ward off unwanted attention. i'm not sure i'd like to be where that happened a lot as i deplore that. i wish you strength with it. --- but way to go making it 24 hours now !! it is hardest at the first bit so reward yourself often. praise yourself often. you deserve it. keep up the good work. i'll keep looking for progress reports !! and i hope you've gotten inspiration and valuable information from my posts as well as others' on this site and online.
bm
March 30, 2010
I must admit, it isn't the only reason I feel the need to pick, and part of it is the scariness of that attention - partly because it is nice to have a bit of attention, but added to a mild social anxiety, it isn't the nicest mix in the world. But it's okay, I will beat this. And it's not like the attention is aggressive, it's just that I'm only just learning the skills to ward it off politely. So I will beat the picking and maybe even learn to enjoy a bit of attention! I mean, people have survived a hell of a lot worse, right?! Speaking of which, you are an inspiration, as are so many others on the site, and I am trying to keep my problem in perspective - I'm not in such a bad place as many of you, and if you have the strength to not only get through it but to thrive, I can do it too! By my reckoning, your day 36 will be coming up around mid-evening in French time, I'll have a drink for you =o)
wildflower
March 30, 2010
it does sound like you have a pretty good understanding of what all you're up against and you're keeping your wits about you. all that is great. undoubtedly, france is a lovely place that hopefully you can thoroughly enjoy in every aspect. you've a lovely opportunity that way. and do have that drink! i intend that my efforts will be worthy of it ! lol :)

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