A Time to Reflect: What Looking Back Can Reveal

There’s an old saying that goes something like this: Live and learn. 

While it might sound trite, there’s a lot of truth in those three words. But just how does that happen? And what does it have to do with skin picking? 

While we don’t always think about it, every experience we have holds valuable information, and experience is how we learn. Skin picking is no different. Your experiences with skin picking hold information that can help you learn and grow and heal. 

Reflection can reveal those lessons. Self-reflection can provide clarity and insight and inspire you to adopt new strategies for dealing with challenges that may come your way. 

What Is Reflection?

Reflection, often referred to as self- or personal reflection, is essentially taking time to think about and evaluate your thoughts, feelings, motives, and behaviors. But it’s more than just “looking back”. Reflection is about taking a deeper look into the “why” that lies beneath. And when you understand the “why” something unfolded as it did, you can begin to make healthy choices about what comes next. Reflection is not about dwelling on mistakes or taking an extra victory lap. It’s more about gaining insight that can help you to move forward with confidence and resiliency. 

Understanding the Power of Reflection

When you face a challenge, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or even defeated. A similar thing happens when you succeed at something. You savor the moment and move on. There isn’t always time to reflect in the moment. But when you do, reflection presents an opportunity to take a closer look. 

Reflection gives you an opportunity to pause and think critically about your experiences, including how and why they happened, and how they made you feel. Reflection offers the opportunity for gaining insight into your experiences and discovering new ways to navigate your challenges. Reflection is the foundation for action. 

Reflecting on Challenges: Learning from the Struggles

While no one likes facing obstacles, the challenges they present are often our greatest teachers. Challenges hold valuable information about what worked and what didn’t work so well. They offer opportunities to grow, develop resilience, and learn important life lessons.

• Identify What Went Wrong:  Honest reflection can help you see patterns of behavior. What went wrong? What went right? Identifying these patterns can help you recognize triggers to your skin picking and pave the way for finding effective strategies for managing them. 
• Recognize What Helped: Every challenge you face requires you to dig deep and use certain skills, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. Perhaps you were able to manage a particularly triggering situation. Maybe you sought support from your therapist or stuck to your recovery plan despite a setback. Being able to look back and recognize what worked for you fosters confidence and resiliency, reminding you that yes, you do have tools that you can call on to face future challenges. 
• Find the Lesson: Every experience you have holds a lesson. Maybe it taught you to set better boundaries or prioritize self-care. Maybe you found that the strategy you’ve tried and tried just fell short. It’s all ok and it’s all valuable. By asking, “What did I learn from this?” you turn a negative experience into an opportunity for growth.

Reflecting on Successes: They’re Important Too!

While challenges teach us resilience, successes remind us of our strengths and hard work. Celebrating wins, whether big or small, helps build confidence and inspires us to keep going. 

Recognize What Went Right: Reflection helps you to more clearly see what contributed to your success. Maybe learning to say “no” empowered you to manage your stress. Maybe you were able to resist urges to pick and found healthy ways to cope. Whatever it is for you, recognizing what works for you gives you additional tools for your toolbox so that you can be prepared. 

Celebrate Your Progress Too often, we downplay our accomplishments and fail to give ourselves credit. Celebrating progress, no matter how small, reinforces a positive mindset and helps you appreciate the effort you put in. Recognizing your growth boosts motivation and reminds you of how far you’ve come.

Practice Gratitude: Reflecting on your victories, big and small, fosters a sense of gratitude, a mental health powerhouse. It’s a reminder that there are positives moments and supportive people on this journey and that you can manage your situation in healthy ways. Gratitude enhances happiness and sense of well-being and reduces stress and anxiety too. 

Integrating Reflection into Daily Life

Every day brings an opportunity to reflect upon your skin picking journey and what may come next. A few simple practices can help your reflection practice.

• Journaling: Journaling is a great way to document and reflect upon your experiences, identify strengths and challenges, process thoughts and feelings, and gain insight. As you gain insight, you can use what you’re learning to set new intentions for your personal growth.
• Practicing Mindful Reflection: Practicing mindful reflection creates space for reflection. This activity encourages you to remain present in the moment, observing thoughts without judgment and facilitating a deeper understanding of yourself. Mindfulness practices have been shown to significantly improve emotional regulation, focus and clarity, and enhance a sense of well-being. Mindfulness practices might include activities like sitting or walking meditation, deep breathing, or body scanning. 
• Check-In with Yourself: Checking in with yourself on a regular basis can help you stay aligned with and focused on your goals. When you check in, reflect on your recent experiences and the lessons they hold. Let them be your guide to setting new intentions. 

Sometimes, looking back is difficult. If you find yourself struggling with reflection, a therapist can help you find strategies for looking back that align with your unique preferences and needs. Practicing reflection can be an important part of the treatment and healing process too.  

Conclusion

By reflecting upon both your challenges and successes, you’re tapping into a powerful opportunity for learning, empowering yourself to face obstacles and discover new strategies for facing whatever comes your way. Take a moment to reflect. You may be surprised at just how far you’ve come and how much further you can go.

References

1. Mills, K. (2022, October 30). I was stuck in a skin-picking shame spiral—until I decided to speak about it. Harper Bazar. https://www.harpersbazaar.in/beauty/story/i-was-stuck-in-a-skin-picking-shame-spiraluntil-i-decided-to-speak-about-it-564648-2022-10-30

2. B, A. (2024, February 7). My Battle with Skin Picking. NAMI. https://www.nami.org/complimentary-health-approaches/my-battle-with-skin-picking/

3. 7 steps to manage stress and build resilience. (n.d.). Office of Research on Women's Health. https://orwh.od.nih.gov/in-the-spotlight/all-articles/7-steps-manage-stress-and-build-resilience

4. Angela. (2022, November 17). The importance of practicing gratitude and celebrating small victories. Mental Health First Aid. https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/2022/11/practicing-gratitude/

5. Less stress, clearer thoughts with mindfulness meditation. (2019, November 1). Harvard Gazette. https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2018/04/less-stress-clearer-thoughts-with-mindfulness-meditation/