The Silent Battle: How to Cope with Skin Picking and Reclaim Your Confidence

Living with dermatillomania, commonly known as skin picking disorder, can be an exhausting and isolating experience. More than just a “bad habit”, skin picking is a compulsion that can consume hours of your day, leaving behind not just visible skin damage and scars but emotional wounds too. 

Not surprisingly, skin picking can erode your confidence and self-esteem. The shame, frustration, and anxiety that accompany this disorder can make social interactions difficult, causing many people to withdraw and suffer in silence rather than risk being judged or rejected by others. While it can sometimes feel like you’re destined to navigate this path alone, there are things you can do to regain control, rebuild your confidence, and break free from the cycle of picking. 

The Emotional Weight of Skin Picking

Skin picking isn’t just the physical act of picking the skin. It’s a disorder with deep emotional ties. For many, picking is a way to cope with stress, anxiety, boredom, or even perfectionism. Picking brings momentary relief, but it is often followed by guilt, regret, and worsening self-esteem when the reality of the picking becomes evident. The mirror becomes both a trigger and a judge, intensifying feelings of inadequacy. Over time, this cycle can lead to increased avoidance of social situations, fear of judgment, and a sense of isolation. 

Skin picking is a disorder that thrives in secrecy and isolation. And it can be emotionally exhausting, spilling into every corner of life. Relationships strain under the weight of physical or emotional withdrawal. Work or hobbies can suffer when your focus is elsewhere. Skin picking doesn’t just steal your time. It can steal your joy, your confidence, and your connection to others. 

Regaining Control: Coping Strategies to Break the Cycle

 While managing skin picking isn’t easy, small, intentional steps can shift the tide, and you can regain control. The key is to approach your healing with patience and a toolbox of strategies that work for you.

1. Identify Triggers 

Knowing what your triggers are can help you plan and prepare for them. One great way to learn your triggers to picking is to keep a journal or log. Track the when, where, and why a picking episode might have occurred. Over time, you may see patterns and situations that are triggering, allowing you to plan strategies for times you find yourself there. 

2. Create Physical Barriers

If your hands automatically reach for your skin, consider using physical barriers to interrupt the behavior. Some helpful options include:

• Wearing gloves or bandages over commonly picked areas
• Using fidget toys to keep your hands busy
• Applying thick creams or oils to your skin to make picking more difficult
• Covering mirrors or dimming lights in areas where you pick frequently

3. Replace Picking with Healthier Habits

Fighting the urge to pick head-on can backfire. Instead, try redirecting it. Many who use replacement strategies find that they get some relief when they are able to replace the picking with some other activity. 

A few of the many replacement strategies people use include:

• Adopting a skincare routine
• Squeezing a stress ball or textured object
• Engaging in activities that keep your hands and mind engaged and bring you joy
• Using mindfulness techniques like deep breathing or tapping

Substituting a new behavior builds new habits without the burnout of relying on willpower alone.

4. Seek Support and Community

Isolation fuels skin picking. Connection can be a powerful tool to reduce feelings of isolation. Talk to trusted family and friends or a therapist. Consider joining a support group or online community. Having a circle of support can provide a sense of belonging and validation, and nurture that sense of connection. 

5. Practice Self-Compassion

Many people with skin picking struggle with feelings of self-loathing or hopelessness, finding it hard to be kind to. These thoughts can perpetuate the cycle of picking. 

Instead, try practicing self-compassion. Recognize that healing takes time, and you deserve kindness and grace. You are more than your skin. 

Journaling positive affirmations or engaging in therapy techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can also help reframe negative thought patterns.

6. Build Your Confidence and Embrace Healing

Building confidence takes time but you can choose to approach your skin picking in a positive, proactive way rather than letting it control you. Remember that you are not defined by your skin or your struggles. Your worth is not measured by appearance.  

Engage in activities that make you feel good. Surround yourself with supportive people. Practice good self-care.  not defined by your skin, your scars, or your struggles. Your worth goes far beyond appearances are.

As you work towards overcoming your skin picking, it’s important to acknowledge small victories. Healing isn’t linear. There will be setbacks, but every step forward counts. Celebrate moments when you successfully resist an urge, go out without covering your skin, or show yourself kindness.

7. Consider Therapy

If your skin picking is severely impacting your daily life, therapy can help. CBT, particularly Habit Reversal Training (HRT), has been shown to be effective for skin picking disorder. While there’s no medication approved specifically to treat Skin picking, medications such as SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) are sometimes prescribed to help manage some symptoms associated with skin picking. 

Breaking Free

Skin picking thrives in isolation but weakens in the face of action. As you begin to take control of your skin picking, you can begin to break the cycle and regain control. With patience, tools, and support, you can manage your skin picking with confidence. 

References

1. Anderson, S., Clarke, V., & Thomas, Z. (2022). The problem with picking: Permittance, escape and shame in problematic skin picking. Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice, 96(1), 83-100. https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/papt.12427

2. “I’ve suffered from dermatillomania for over a decade – here’s how I’m working to overcome it”. (n.d.). https://www.stylist.co.uk/beauty/skincare/dermatillomania-skin-picking/506422

3. Strong, M. (2023, January 6). My Dermatillomania destroyed my skin, but not my self-esteem. YourTango. https://www.yourtango.com/self/dermatillomania-destroyed-my-skin-not-self-esteem