7 Strategies for Being BFRB Brave in Social Situations When You Have Dermatillomania

Living with dermatillomania, commonly known as skin picking disorder, is both a deeply personal experience and one that often intersects with the public as you go about daily life. The defining feature of skin picking, damage to the skin from repetitive picking, can make social situations particularly challenging. The noticeable skin damage can sometimes draw unwanted attention from others or lead to questions or comments, leaving you feeling judged or misunderstood. 

When dealing with a condition like skin picking, it’s important to remember that your skin picking disorder does not define you. While you cannot control how others react, you can control how you respond and how you feel about yourself in these situations. With the right strategies, you can confidently manage social interactions, respond to inquiries with grace, and protect your self-worth in any situation.

7 Strategies for Managing Social Interactions

Being prepared for something makes it more likely that you’ll succeed. Preparation means that you have tools or a plan at the ready so that when you find yourself in the moment, you don’t have to struggle. 

What does this have to do with skin picking and social situations?  

At some point, you’ll be in a social situation where you may worry about your skin or how others may respond to you. Having a plan, having strategies ready to go, means that you don’t have to stress about what to say or do. You’ll be able to draw on your skills to navigate through successfully.

1. Understand Your Disorder

It’s hard to share about your disorder with others if you don’t understand it yourself. Take time to learn about skin picking and how you experience it. If you choose to share, you’ll be able to speak about your experience with confidence and help others understand what you’re going through. 

2. Be Prepared for Questions

Anticipating potential questions or concerns and planning your responses can prevent feelings of being caught off guard. It’s natural for people to be curious or concerned when they notice something different about someone. Of course, you are under no obligation to explain your condition, and it’s always your choice whether to share or how much to share. Your willingness to share may also vary depending on the person or the situation. Having a response prepared can help you feel confident and in control of the situation. 

You may choose to keep it simple and direct, acknowledging the issue and moving on. For example: 

“I have a condition that affects my skin, but I’m managing it.” 

You might decide that you want to share more. For example:

“I have a condition called dermatillomania that causes me to pick at my skin. It’s something I’m working on.”

How much you choose to share is totally up to you. The key is to acknowledge and convey the information you wish to share confidently. Doing so can discourage further questions and help you steer the conversation in another direction if you so choose. 

3. Dress for Confidence

Make up and clothing can be an ally in helping you feel more confident. While there’s no need to hide from your disorder, there are ways to dress that can help you feel more secure and comfortable.

If your skin damage is visible, wearing clothing that covers that area might provide some emotional relief, especially when you’re not feeling up to addressing it. Long sleeves, lightweight scarves, or makeup can help, but ensure you're doing this for your comfort, not to solely appease others.

4. Set Boundaries with Confidence

Sometimes, questions or comments can feel uncomfortable or even intrusive. Setting healthy boundaries can help you to manage those situations and protect your own well-being. It is always OK to set boundaries, even with your closest friends or loved ones. 

You can politely but firmly let others know when you prefer not to discuss your condition. For example, you might simply say, “I appreciate your concern, but I’d rather not talk about it right now.” 

Remember, you have the right to privacy and to decide how much you want to share.

5. Master the Art of Mindfulness

When living with skin picking, social anxiety can heighten urges to pick. Mindfulness techniques are great for managing stress and curbing those urges in social situations.

• Ground Yourself in the Moment: Use grounding exercises to keep your mind present during conversations. Focus on the texture of an object in your hand, listen closely to what the other person is saying, or take a few deep breaths. These small actions can keep anxiety at bay, which may reduce the urge to pick.
• Engage Your Hands: If you feel the urge to pick while in a social setting, try holding onto something like a fidget toy, stress ball, or even a pen. This gives your hands something to do without drawing attention and can help distract you from picking.

6. Focus On the Positive

One of the most powerful things you can do for your own well-being is to remember that you are so much more than your skin picking disorder. It does not define who you are. Focusing on your unique strengths and positive qualities can help to build a mindset of confidence and self-assurance.

• Take time each day to remind yourself of all the things you’ve accomplished, big or small, and the qualities that make you unique. By focusing on your positives, you can approach interactions with greater confidence.
• Give yourself grace on days when you’re struggling. (That’s a superpower!) 
• Celebrate every victory big or small. Whether it’s being able to reveal your disorder to a new friend or navigating a new social setting, recognize your ability to handle social situations of all kinds on your own terms.  

7. Surround Yourself with Support 

Surrounding yourself with people who understand and support you can make navigating social situations less intimidating. Friends, family, or other circles of support that are aware of your skin picking can provide a safe space where you feel accepted and understood.

They can be a kind of buffer in more challenging social settings. Having someone by your side who knows what you’re going through can offer comfort and reassurance, helping you maintain your confidence and self-esteem. They can also help you to exit a situation safely if you find the need for more space.

The Takeaway

Navigating social situations with skin picking disorder  can be challenging, but it doesn’t have to be fraught with fear and anxiety. With a sound plan and a little practice, you can manage social situations with confidence and grace. Each step you take toward managing these moments is a victory worth celebrating.

References

1. https://www.bfrb.org/articles/coping-strategies-for-dealing-with-bfrbs-in-daily-life

2. Navigating middle & high school when you have a BFRB | TLC Foundation. (2024, September 25). TLC Foundation for Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors | BFRB. https://www.bfrb.org/articles/navigating-middle-and-high-school-when-you-have-a-bfrb

3. How to stop skin picking | TLC Foundation for BFRBs. (2024, September 25). TLC Foundation for Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors | BFRB. https://www.bfrb.org/articles/list-of-strategies-for-skin-picking