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just me , 04 Dec 2011

looking for ideas - same problem, different cause?

Hi there, Just decided to look up advice today, and found this site. I do pick at my face, but not in the typical presentation that I've read in the guides. So I'm looking for some advice and feedback from those who have found specific strategies that have worked for them. I don't think I pick as a result of "inner turmoil", dysmorphia or self-hatred. Bullying and anxiety have been issues in my life, but I don't pick more or less depending on these stresses. I think for me, is somewhere on the OCD spectrum. I can't stop. I've been doing it for at least 20 years. I have a few other similar semi-cumpulsions. I also crack a lot of my joints, and regularly wipe the gunk out of my eyes by actually running my finger over my eyeballs. I have made many resolutions and attempts to stop. And failed. I worry all these habits make me unattractive. What seems to trigger the skin picking is mirrors and acne. Only I don't even get much acne. Really, it is mostly self-induced from picking. I see what I decide is a blemish, and must get the stuff out - even when it is a normal skin cell and I logically know this. I've even used tweezers and nail clippers, and I'm often hiding small scabs and scars on my face. This sounds so gross. Sorry. But I guess this group will understand. So triggers are: noticing flaws, acne, bumps, or chin hairs that I then feel compelled to look at with the mirror and clear. If I don't have mirrors, I am better (but there's always mirrors somewhere). Its worse when I have lots of time to check my skin. Its better when my life is busy and I don't have time for it. Sounds like this isn't the typical presentation. Sad part is, if I have too much time, it gets worse, and then I'm less inclined to go out, which can make the picking worse again. I also find I don't "have to" pick my skin or stick my finger in my eyes. I've had a job where I have to wear gloves for many hours. I'd be so busy I wouldn't think about it. I don't think cutting my nails would help. I'm leaning towards some cognitive-behavoral strategies. But when I've tried that, its still failed. I will chastise myself for the picking as I'm doing it and order myself to stop, then continue 10 seconds later. What have others found that's helped? I've only just found this site. I'm looking for ideas and strategies. Thanks. - K
6 Answers
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Andy
December 04, 2011
I am new to this and still looking for strategies as well. you say the things you do may be un-common to the people on this site but thats not at all true. like you, if i dont desract myself ill be sitting in font of the mirror for long periods of time. you say that mirrors can be hard to get away from but my best advice is to just do your best not to look. when you wash your hands or things like that look at your hands, not your face. it seems wierd but it truely does help. avoid looking in the mirror as much as possible.
cathy
December 04, 2011
Your so right this helps me too i have to look away from mirrors as much as possible or the mirror eats me in and keeps me there for hours i also find wetting my hands with cream or water fast when i get the urge to do it as i cant grip my skin hand sanitzer works a little it tingles your hands and sometimes helps the urge
just me
December 07, 2011
thanks. its so simple, but its a good idea. The bathroom mirror is a bit further away and less of a problem, but sometimes still gets me. Its mirror in the room used to do make-up and pluck chin hairs that is the problem. I think I will go put it in a drawer now. I can get it out when I am ready to do make-up and put it back after. Out of site will make it a bit less tempting. At least it creates another step and more time for reflection before I return to the bad habits. Open to any other feedback. And your right, I probably am like most people here. I just didn't like the way things were described elsewhere.
PAMAWATX
December 04, 2011
Despite saying you don't think you suffer from any inner turmoil, you do admit to chastising yourself for not being able to stop. You sound angry and frustrated with yourself. I can relate and want to tell you that even though I, like Andy below this post, am new to this - you're not alone and it certainly doesn't sound gross to me. The only suggestions I have right now would be maybe to get rid of some of the tools you use in your quest for perfect skin, and have you tried exfoliating your skin as part of a regimented routine? For instance I NEVER wash my face (my problem is more with my hands). I use Aveeno Facial Scrub, which has no soap, and then apply an Aveeno nighttime moisturizer right before bed. In the morning I just wet & towel dry the face to get the extra greasiness away. That all helps keep the skin smooth and soft so there's less to pick at. Of course I'm not a therapist but if it is more rooted in OCD than anything else, perhaps setting up new patterns can help break your current one - maybe only allowing yourself a grooming session once a week to keep up on chin hairs etc, and do it before some other time sensitive activity so you don't stay in there forever? Whatever you do, stick with it and try not to be so hard on yourself! It takes time to break habits and form new ones ... And maybe start journaling to help find the root of the compulsion. There is a book called the Artist's Way that suggests morning pages. You get up and write for half an hour/three pages, whatever comes to mind with no pausing or judgements, and don't read them for a month. Then go back and highlight any action statements, anything like "I should" or "I need." it might help clear the mind and make repetitive thoughts more obvious.
just me
December 07, 2011
Thanks for the ideas and feedback. Your right - shoulds, out to and chastising myself probably aren't the best approach. I also like the idea of changing routines. normally I just use tweezers for chin hairs, but maybe I need to start doing that every other day (it does bother me if I leave it longer). Still fells gross to me, though. But I get why people do it. Just wish I didn't. How arrogant is that!? I have started to change my routine a bit since reading some of the blogs. The weather turned dry here, which is harder on my skin. So I've started lathering the moisturizers and switched the scrub & wash, which seems to help. I think I need something to interrupt the activity with. Or as you suggest - only set times when I can go to the mirror. Will think about that. Might also try some kind of tracking. Thanks for your suggestions and encouragement.

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