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Telling your significant other?
Hey guys, I'm new here. I just made my first post on the "school anxiety" thread. I am 19 years old. I used to pick my back avidly when I was much younger but thankfully (seriously, so grateful) I somehow escaped that. I still pick my face, especially my nose and chin. Unfortunately, my cheekbones have become a target in the last few months and they never were before. I also pick my shoulders and chest. Sometimes when I attempt to make a pact with myself to leave my face alone, I end up going after my chest/shoulders much more, to appease the withdrawal symptoms of leaving my face alone. That is really discouraging because it's like an up and down battle, you know? I try to quit and I'll have a string of good days but then I just crack. So it's a cycle of clear skin and red-marked skin. I've been picking for years and years and have been hiding it as best I can, but having a significant other adds a whole new layer to the issue. I've had a boyfriend for over two years. I feel like for the majority of our relationship, my picking has been a LOT better compared to years past. Perhaps knowing you'll be naked in front of someone else on a regular basis is good motivation? ;) It's really helpful to have someone to look good for. This semester we're apart, however, and that is just one of the stresses in my life right now. I have never told him (nor anyone) about my skin picking problem but I've been thinking about it a lot lately because my picking has spiraled back towards the severity of the old days. I know he'll be very understanding and supportive, and I actually think he might suspect it a little (though pretty sure he has no idea how bad it is)... but it's SO hard to admit to, you know? I just feel really ashamed and embarrassed and any description I can think of for the issue sounds gross. I know I won't repulse him but it will still take a lot of courage to open up about this. After all, it's been a "secret" of mine for many years. Sure, it may not be so discrete, but I've certainly never SPOKEN to any soul about it. in the first winter of our relationship, he did notice red marks all over my shoulders. Back then my shoulders and arms would be particularly bad in the wintertime because I would use the long sleeve clothing as an excuse to pick hidden skin more. I'd reward myself for staying away from my face by picking at what the public couldn't see. When he noticed he was shocked and asked what was happening to me. He was so worried and asked if something was biting me! He thought they were bug bites or something. I got quiet and just covered up and said "I don't know." I could tell it really bothered him (not in a disgusted way, but rather a protective way) but he followed my signal and dropped it. That episode was enough of a jolt for me to get better and as I said earlier in the post, for the most part I've been doing REALLY well during our relationship. But we're apart now and I pick in between visits and feel awful when I look at myself in the mirror and am constantly making time tables in my head of "will you be healed by the next time you see him?" Recently, he spotted a scab on my chest and said "Did you do that?" and I admitted "Yes" very quickly (since I am toying with telling him about my problem) and he said "you can't do that!" and I said "I know" and then quickly changed the subject. So I guess he suspects? I hate all the red marks I'm causing around and above my breasts. I want to feel pretty. I pass other girls on my way to classes and envy their clear skin. ...........PHEW LONG POST ...... I just wanted to know about you guys' experiences with significant others knowing or not knowing about your problem. Anyone struggling to tell their boyfriend/girlfriend or going to great lengths to keep it from them? Anyone have a story about opening up to your significant other about your problem?
In reply to Hey! I am a college student by CollegeGal101
In reply to My boyfriend, after we had by mirrorwarrior