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Basta , 18 Dec 2011

25 days' commitment

Dear forumers. I've been picking on my skin in 15 years now and I'm very tired of it... :( I hate myself because I can't stop. But I have to stop because my skin gets worse every time I pick on it. My hands are always all over my face, head, breast, my shoulders and back - I pick all day long - :( it's terrible. I am afraid I won't be able to stop from now on and forever at once, that's why I want to do it 25 days now. Why 25? Because I've read that it's best to squeeze acne 5 days from the mens. period start and it'll be somewhere around January the 13th. I realize that I need a place I can come and people like me to talk to, so I'm hoping that this forum will be helpful. Maybe someone wants to join me until January 13th? The official start is tomorrow morning (it's 23.17 here now).
57 Answers
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Basta
December 27, 2011
I'm going to use A-vitamin creme tonight too. It's probably the same as retin-a. Promise yourself just 5 days, you'll see a difference. The thing is, the more we pick, the more sebum the skin will produce because every touch will stimulate the production.
Basta
December 27, 2011
I understand! Take a "before" picture for yourself- it may be motivating to get results for a good "after" one. Hope you'll stick with this forum, I'm looking forward reading about your thoughts and reactions!
Basta
December 28, 2011
Day 10: I am not picking the skin. My face feels like it's not mine anymore when I don't touch it all the time. It's a strange - and new - feeling. I used A-vitamin creme yesterday and it was my first time, I'm looking forward seeing a change.
pine919
December 28, 2011
Today is day two. Made it through last night and this morning. Only compulsion was to remove dry skin caused by the retin-a cream that I use overnight. The cream really makes my skin peel because it causes a higher turnover of skin cell production. Afraid that I'll be plagued by the dark red spots/superficial scars caused by my picking. Early morning and late night are awful times for me. I put up reminders on all of the bathroom and bedroom mirrors. One day at a time. Coffee also seems to be a trigger. Took my "before" pic (per Basta's suggestion). One day down, 29 to go....
Basta
December 28, 2011
Thumbs up! I'm glad to hear from you again! I've read that to reduce peeling of the skin while using retin-a, you just need to use lesser amount of the cream. Peeling of the skin is my biggest trigger, so I understand now that I need to keep the skin moisturized and not irritate it too much. The skin will peel a lot because of all the dead cells caused by picking, that's why please just don't touch the skin until it has finished flaking. I have read too that it's good to combine retin-a with aha/bha cream.
pine919
December 28, 2011
Ugh so difficult. Especially because after I apply makeup it's clear that the dry, flaky skin is being covered up. It's not a pretty sight! Does it help you to put up reminders in the bathroom/near mirrors? I'll try using less of the cream. Part of me thinks that the peeling is good because it means that healthier skin is growing underneath. I have a fairly low dosage- .05% tretinoin. I am only supposed to apply at bedtime. At the end of the day I know that the products I use aren't really the main issue. If I got the picking under control my acne would be minimal at most. The retin A is helping but I have been using it for 5 1/2 weeks already. Is the cream you are using prescription?
Basta
December 28, 2011
My cream is not with prescription, but supposed to be only used at night - I'm using Beauté Pacifique Booster (http://www.beaute-pacifique.co.za/super3-booster/) - it's quite strong and has 3 A vitamin types. I don't put the reminders, because I've put the mirrors away. The light is rather dull other places where I have mirrors (on purpose), so I can't really make this ritual in front of them because I simply don't see that much. So maybe it could help to change the bulbs? I don't use makeup anymore because of the same reasons - it doesn't look good with flaking skin under makeup.
pine919
December 28, 2011
Slightly less successful afternoon. Found myself washing my face and saw a new, small blemish. Did minimal damage but still picked at it. In comparison to other times, certainly a lot better as I didn't have an extended pick session. One small blemish. Not a perfect day but I'd still consider it progress from the past week. Still have a commitment towards not picking for the rest of the day and for the future 29 days to come.
Basta
December 29, 2011
Day 11: I'm struggling today! It's difficult to have attention all the time and I have touched the skin a few times today - not picking, but touching and a kind of scrubbing it with the nails. :S I will make a mud mask tonight, because it feels like my skin is dirty...
pine919
December 29, 2011
You have already made it so far Basta, Day ELEVEN! Go look at the before photo that you took on day one and use that as a reminder not to scrub at your face with your nails. That skin is still healing, let it continue to do so and take a deep breath. Try to figure out what is driving you to touch your skin today. Remember Day ELEVEN. That's SO wonderful!!!
pine919
December 29, 2011
I know the feeling. I think that you have good tactics...different masks, creams etc. to help soothe your thoughts. Trying not to touch any of the dry skin although that's a real battle. Not picking seems like a huge mission already so I rationalize that as long as I am not leaving any mark on my face, that I am allowed to touch/remove flaky skin. This whole discussion seems so gross, it's embarrassing to admit to these compulsions. At the end of the day, however, it is more shameful to have a face that's been picked incessantly. Had an argument with my boyfriend which triggered negative feelings/despair. Noticed that the urge to pick was greater. Resisted. Can't believe it's only day 3 for me! Maybe you can try to identify why (yesterday) was more difficult for you. Did you have any extraneous stressors?
Basta
December 30, 2011
It's more difficult the days when I don't like myself, like criticizing for being dum, lazy and so on... It's something I need to go in therapy with, otherwise I'll continue self-destructive behaviors... I totally understand the dry skin - it's too difficult at this point..
Basta
December 30, 2011
Day 12: I'm beginning to be more confident with the "project" and believe I'll make it through those 25 days. I am quite amazed, that the A-vitamin creme helped to stop inflammation - I haven't had any inflamed pores the last two days. Yesterday evening I felt asleep very early - I didn't wash my face in the morning (didn't make it before work) nor in the evening (felt asleep and didn't want to stand up anymore) yesterday. The good thing is only that I don't wear makeup anymore, but the bad thing is that I'm afraid now that some of the pores will become clogged and inflamed. I washed the face as usual this morning and then took some clay (green) powder and used it to peel the face. It felt nice and was very gentle in comparison to scrubs. Scrubs always give me inflamed pores.. Let's see if the clay is better.
pine919
December 30, 2011
Day 4: Already seeing the benefits of just a few days respite from attacking my face. My retin-A cream is helping with the inflammation as well and now I just have to give it time to let the redness/superficial scarring fade. I bet it will be much better with a full week under my belt. Part of this whole process is just about discipline for me. I made a strong determination not to pick and so far, I have made some pretty incredible strides. It's amazing how powerful that discipline and accomplishment can feel in comparison to the apathy and grief that I feel after destroying my face. Clay masks are great for soaking up oil Really interesting that you didn't feel the need to wash your face yesterday, it's almost like the compulsion is slowing down or something. Less intense. That's good. I don't use any scrubs but I have a *fabulous* cleanser/brush. It's called the Clarisonia Mia and it's basically like an ultrasonic face brush that gently releases all dirt and sebum from your pores. It also exfoliates very gently. Look it up online. It's pricey but definitely worth it...
Basta
December 30, 2011
I'll definitely try to find it online. My cream makes my skin flake too and I did examine the skin with the fingers but not long time and very gently. I guess I'm getting used to not touching the face that's why I could just fall asleep yesterday without washing. But I'm still struggling with the wish to have a perfect skin... I'm so glad that you are with me here - that means we'll enter 2012 more beautiful than before :)
Basta
January 02, 2012
Day 15: I haven't picked at all the last few days - had a huge party at home and had no time to sit down and exam the skin. But when I eventually touch the skin, I can feel that the pores are all filled out with the sebum and are ready to "go". It was a struggle yesterday to avoid picking, so I made a green clay mask in hope it'd help. I have of course forgotten to wash my face after the new years party (got really drunk with all that vodka :)))
Basta
January 03, 2012
Day 16: Baaaaaaaaaad, too baad. I couldn't resist and did all the face!!! Every pore. :((((((((((((((((
Basta
January 04, 2012
The day went well. I didn't wear makeup on purpose - my face was really red today!! I am glad that I only have two really small infected pores.

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