Valentine: I'll be mine

P.S.: For the record, I've done just about every sort of therapy for the picking, except when I was enrolled at an OCD treatment center I was, this is years ago, too depressed, I think, to do my CBT homework so I have been thinking of re-trying that therapy. If anyone has feedback about that I'd love to hear it. I met with a specialist last month but found his affect so off-putting that decided not to go with him. My regular therapist (I have depression and am on SNRI meds that still need tinkering with after all these years and that, for me anyway, doesn't really help the picking) said he'd try the program in this workbook I got on Trich and Skin Pulling (a combo of CBT, HRT, and several other therapies) but I've found that I need our sessions too much to turn them over to just this issue. Anyway, I'm in the greater NYC area so if anyone has ANY reccomendations for therapists trained for this speciality I'd be super super grateful to hear who they are. tHANKS!

Two new things to add: my lightbox arrived today (supposed to help my mood, which is treated in part with meds and therapy but finding it a lot shakier this winter... and/or since I've decided to try and really give up the picking). Wondering if anyone here uses one and if so, how long they used it before noticing any difference. Also: got the OK from my doctor to start on inositol—an amino acid supplement you can buy in the vitamin store—which has been shown via established medical research to help reduce picking/hair pulling (for me, the same, since i pretty much only pick at ingrown hairs). There's also N-acetylciysteine, another supplement shown to reduce picking but it seemed from my research that inositol had stronger research behind it... Anyway: Fingers crossed that adding these tool to the regimen helps.

Twenty-four hours pick-free feels great. It's just I'll admit to feeling like it's a "special treat" that I "deserve" after abstaining for even a day. Isn't that just crazy? This disorder is just so wily, it's hard to know how best to psych it out! Ugh. Anyway, here's to Day Two.....

Day One pick free. Found that it was helpful to be out after work, get home and *not* turn lights on in living room (my biggest trigger spot for picking).Also, I took the lightbulb out of the small lamp in that room last week so that helped too. Finally: a plug for AVEENO or generic brand (they're all equally good) oatmeal bath packets. I mix some of the powder with water in my palm to make an oatmeal masque/paste and put it on my bikini line overnight. It stops sores from 'weeping', reduces inflamation, redness, and leaves skin soft *while* acting as coverup so i don't pick. Anyway: thanks to you all for keeping me so inspired.

Checking in to say I've been struggling and I feel ashamed and embarassed and just plain sad about it. It's almost like the pressure of my New Commitment has me picking more. Still, today is a new day and I'm going back to posting twice. Will check in again once I'm in my PJs and in bed. Boyfriend arrives back here in two weeks some I'm getting sort of terrified about stopping in enough time for things to heal...and about just plain stopping. I found out there's a 12-step group near me--a pickers/hair pullers anonymous--and though I loath the idea, I think desperation sometimes leads to a more open-minded approach to the problem. Anyone out there lean on such a community? I'd love to know!

Ok. So I'm checking in to note that I've been struggling, over the last 10-12 days to amass any number of days without picking. Today I'm at three, but I'm now less tied to getting the number superhigh than I am committed to A)Purchasing the inositol (why do I keep "forgetting" to pick this up?), B)Calling a new specialist in my area, and C)Maintaining momentum in my overall "commitment". My boyfriend (we live in different states) arrives in two days so that's helping curb the picking a bit--it's confined these days to my bikini line--as I'm due for a wax but the site of the hairs just below the surface...just waiting to be lifted out with a pin and tweezed out...it's too much to take but I torture myself by looking anyway. And I look despite the fact that I'm trying, overall, NOT to look because, as I've repeated to myself a lot lately: "looking leads to picking", for me anyway. So, I have put on my oatmeal mask down there and logged on to type this. I think I may have to try using bandaids to cover high-risk areas again but I can't do this just yet (he's here for two weeks for work/to see me), AND I seem to have an allergy to most bandaid glue so I can only use the really flimsy, hypoallergenic ones. Any other "blocking" or "interference" tips would be super appreciated! Thanks for reading!

Hi All. Just checking in to report on my progress. I believe I last wrote in just before my boyfriend arrived for 2.5 weeks and I have some good news to report. Firstly, being around him makes me pick less because I have less alone time but also, just before his visit, I tried a full Brazillian wax, as in 100% hair gone (before I'd left at least a little, like a strip or a small triangle). Basically, I think having all hair off, i.e.: no "edges" or "borders" btwn the hair and no-hair areas has helped me reduce picking by a huge degree. I tried the "all-off" for my boyfriend (who is totally pro-woman, asked in a super-aware way, just to see if it was something I might feel comfortable with) but he also suspected it might help the picking. And, well, so far so good. It's growing back in a much softer way and *without* ingrowns! I don't think I can afford to have this done nonstop (my place offers the service at about $40, less than other places but still an expense), but I think I can try and have it done maybe every other month for a while to see. The cost also being worth it if I can drastically reduce picking a)overall and b)as well roll toward summer, my hardest season in this regard. So fingers crossed but repeated thanks to you all. I read the new forum posts continually and it always helps to remind me I'm not alone. (Also, it's worth noting that I'm in Week Five of my Renewed Commitment [started on Valentine's Day] and though I feel not 100% since I haven't been exercising, I do really feel better for the reduced self-abuse!)

So today marks 6 weeks to the day since I started my commitment to stopping picking and I definitely see *some* improvement. Since my last post: picked at maybe 7 not-yet-above-the-skin-line hairs along bikini area but no longer super satisfying since a full Brazillian eliminates any real bikini "line". Same for squeezing blackheads along nose (where, thankfully, no marks are ever left b/c I manage to do it really gently/keep nails cut almost to the quick). Still, there's room for improvement, i.e.: ZERO picking, so tonight I'm turning in early after applying Klaron (my miracle gel) to the face & panty line and watching an episode of something fun.

Well, it's a handful of months later and I'm happy to say that *overall*, my picking has lessened a good deal since joining the forum. (It's really just one corner of the bikini line area that I pick at now, and only when I'm between Brazillian waxes). Still, it's these times--when my boyfriend and I are apart for weeks at a time--that are the biggest challenge because I have all this extra alone time. Still, I'm hoping to make our next reunion date (18th of August) a day that finds me pick-free for several weeks. So here goes. Again. Day one. And from now on I'm going to not let myself on this forum until I've *already* washed up for the night which is the danger timezone for me. Maybe this way I'll be able to reward myself with a post, i.e.: I'll be motivated not to pick. Fingers crossed.

Day one. Again. Fingers crossed.

Day two, no picking... And I've been reading through tons of old threads on here. Thats definitely helping. And the last places I picked on my bikini line are drying up and healing nicely. It feels good to see that overall, my picking is way down for summertime, usually my hardest season, picking-wise, because we show more skin which in turn makes me examine my skin more closely, etc. Anyway, I'd love hear how everyone else is doing. Sometimes I also find weekends challenging because I have more free time to manage... Ok. More soon...

Day three no picking. I know it will get a lot harder when the bikini area that I lay into starts to regrow hairs (because the little one just below the skin line are always the ones I want to go after with a tweezer) but for tonight trying to be grateful for the reprieve from the urge.

Day four no picking. Excited to amass some days but remember the AA saying about not letting one's guard down because their disease is just/always out in the hall, doing push ups.