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cherrycolalola , 16 Feb 2012

how long have you actively been fighting picking? and if you can,how do you stop mid-pick

In forgetting my password today for the forum I was informed I've been a member of this site for 2 plus years, and thats just the time I've taken in trying to stop by getting help, Ive been picking for much longer than that.Im curious about how others feel about the long road this seems to be. When I give my recovery all the energy I can I get better, but I keep slipping, and my face(where I do almost all my picking) has gone from normal to really bad. And it keep getting worse. This scares me. I tell myself it can't look any worse, but I know it could and will if I dont stop. I feel shame and grief and anger so much of the time. Not to mention regret and longing to turn back the clock. Im just wanting to know how people deal with these feelings, especially the feeling of being permanently wrecked? I know that sounds harsh, but that is often how I see myself. The second question is how people stop after starting, which I know is damn near impossible a lot of the time, thats why Im asking. I can somtimes keep from it for a while but once I slip its so hard. Has anyone succeeded? I know no matter how much better I get the little slip ups (that can turn into big slip ups) will be happening for a while, if not the rest of my life. Im just looking for some tried and tested methods.
8 Answers
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Basta
February 17, 2012
I have learned not to think black/white. I previously did and it always ended in defeat. Like being 100% healthy or doing other things 100%. It is possible for some time, but it is simply not realistic in a long run! We change all the time, we have the period, we have the feelings, things happen to the world and it influences us. That's why I have learned to be happy with my efforts and support myself. I am very glad to use calendar where I can check the day out when I did well. I printed goal calendar from here http://lds.about.com/od/visualmusicalaids/a/habitbookmarks.htm and use it every day (I use the yearly goals calender). One day at a time!
cherrycolalola
February 17, 2012
thankyou :) Im going to print that out. I do the all or nothing thing a lot of the time too. My friend pointed it out. I would do things like go from not going to the gym ever to declaring I was going to go everyday. I still do things like that all the time, I just don't notice. I would guess its a trait a lot of pickers have.
brebre11
February 18, 2012
I just came across this site. Ive been picking at my scalp off and on since i was about 12. I'm now 25. My mom being a hair dresser just tells me its dandruff but after using some of the best shampoos out there i've realized its something more. I stopped for a good 4 years. But now i'm back to it on a daily basis. Its usually at night when i do it which is also when i get anxiety. It seems to be a satisfaction i get from it, takes my mind off of all the other issues in my life. I've never thought that it could be some type of ocd/anxiety related until now. Once i start itching and peel off the scabs and flakes of skin my scalp then starts itching and then its seriously impossible to stop. As soon as i get home i put my hair up because it makes it harder to pick but i end up doing it anyways. I see someone for my anxiety and adhd but have never talked about this problem. As weird as i think it is I think at my next appointment i'll bring it up to her now that i see that skin picking is an actual problem. I cant even stay with my natural brown hair because the flakes show up. I really want to be done with this. Its embarrassing that's for sure. I also just remembered that when i was younger i would pull out small chunks of hair. At the time i didn't realize it was a real problem. Both of these issues i just one day stopped. Sadly i forgot what i did to stop it all so im back at square 1
lulabellrose
February 19, 2012
I too just found this site. I too am seeing someone for anxiety, depression and ADHD . I have been discussing the picking and it is an OCD behavior. It has gotten so bad that it is the main focus of my sessions lately. I am destroying my face. My boyfriend forced me to look at pictures of skin, as an organ on line. Text book pictures. Reading about the layers of skin, what they look like, functions, treatments when injuries reach those layers. It helped for a day or two only, then I started questioning again if what I am seeing is a pimple, blemish, or is it truly that I am causing the types of injury that produce this discharge or exudate? In treatment we are concentrating on opposite action or habit reversal. I mentioned in previous paragraph my latest alternate behavior is going to be a hand parafon treat net. Can't pick if hands dipped in wax, wrapped and in gloves!
cherrycolalola
February 21, 2012
yup, been there at square one before. Im pretty much there now again. My anxiety is the worst at night and thats when I do the most damage too. What I realize is I have to stay connected to people actively working on getting better for one, and two the things that work sometimes dont always work at others. Since life changes so often and we do too. Some things work for a while and then stop working and you have to get creative. But when I think I have it in the bag is when I get in trouble and wind up at square one again. I really want to be done too. I think its more about managing it rather than a cure.
lulabellrose
February 19, 2012
Cherrycolalola, you put into words what I am struggling to say and ask. My face also being my worst victimized area. I have anxiety, depression, OCD behaviors and bod. I am going for DBT therapy treatment, it makes sense and all the theories are applicable for all my biggest struggles. The catch is the energy and commitment it takes early on until the skills learned come more naturally. The thing with the picking is just like you said, the more I do it the worse I feel and all the things causing me to do it and all the other treated issues come back in overflow. My brother just gave me a good idea as my opposite action to try. DBT says find an action that works for you to substitute for picking. Start your new action/behavior as soon as you recognize the urge. I tried many, holding worry stones , sitting on my hands, snapping wrist with rubber and, get in the bathtub, get away from the mirror.... Anyway, this idea is not tested yet as I was just offered it today, but plan on doing, is hand parafon treatment. I will keep the wax in my bathroom where I most get the urge, when it comes on, I'm going to stick my hands in the melted wax, wrap them in put the gloves on! I love to moisturizer, I love having soft beautiful skin, I try to take care of my skin, so this may be the right thing. I know you asked for tested but I like the idea so much I couldn't help but share. Good luck.
cherrycolalola
February 21, 2012
The energy part of it is so interesting to me. Picking consolidates all my nervous and negative energy and stores/intensifies it. I feel it when just thinking about my face. I start to feel this energy trapped under my skin. I think its a matter of getting flow to happen again maybe. I mean so many of us go from hyper to depressed, from functional to immobile and it all seems to be an issues of keeping energy balanced. I really like your ideas, they make sense to me. I havent done DBT, but from what I hear it has a lot to do with rewiring your brain and breaking patterns, and those ideas sound like they could help with that. You reminded me of one thing I do sometimes, but have been forgetting to do. When I feel the urge I gently stroke my fingers in an outward motion. I gently pull on them and then let go in a sort of sweeping motion. I think of calming things. Usually the color blue and the ocean. I think of my hands as the ocean, or maybe clouds, or something soothing and connected with nature. This helps. I also visualize colors and pictures sweeping underneath my face. Like cool blue moving under the surface of my skin, calming and healing the injury underneath. Thanks for reminding me of that. Good luck to you too! Keep trying!
squirelybird
February 25, 2012
Hi, my names Andrew and I’m almost 23 yrs old. I just came across the web site the other day and I can’t believe it! My brother (he's 27) and I have the same problem but never really talked to each other about it, seeing how embarrassing and disgusting the habit is. I always thought this problem was isolated and that no one else was going through this hellish disorder. I’ve had my scratching/ scab picking and bugger picking problem since I was about 5 or 6 yrs old. I started off just picking and scratching at my feet and hands and I would eat the scabs. My legs got really bad with countless scabs all over. As I got older my skin became tougher due to the constant scratching...I thought I was developing reptile skin. The scabs eventually went away but the scratching had gotten worse and spread to my upper body, mostly my arms, chest and stomach. When I was in my teens, my face became a big problem, squeezing and picking. Now its present day and my problems haven’t gotten any better, but at least they haven’t gotten any worse...I don’t think. But now I am fully aware of my disorder and I now know I’m not alone. I know we are all capable of doing great things; I see and read about stories all the time. I figure if I take all the time and energy I waste on picking, scratching, and thinking negatively and put that towards a positive goal I know I can DO IT! We just gotta believe in ourselves Things I’ve tried that seem to work -Every time I start to scratch I tell myself “I don’t want to scratch, I don’t like hurting myself, Scratching is bad for me" and I count to 10. -Deep breathing exercises to release stress, meditation, or physical exercise -keeping my hands preoccupied, trying to stay busy, and moving on to the next task for the day. -Every time I scratch or pick, I make myself do 5 push ups

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