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Hollyrosemarie02 , 24 Feb 2012

Hi I'm a 12 year picker......I feel trapped...!!! Please somebody help me..!!

I been picking since I was 14 years old. I am now 26. I have tried every strategy I can possible think of. I tried cutting my nails, and grinding them flat to where they hurt and sore and can't pick at all. I have got my nails done so long professionally to make it hard to pick, but I eventually find a way or cut them, cause my nerves beat me. I been seeing a therapist since I was 14. I feel trapped in my own body and have no control over anything I feel or do. I pick on my face, arms, stomach, back, buttocks the worst. I just want it to end. I feel so alone. I want a friend close by like me so I have someone to relate to, but I have not found anyone yet and or even by me in North Carolina where I live right now. I use to cut myself, and have chronic cutting and depression, but I am a 5 year free cutter survivor. Only the will of GOD has helped me conquer that dream, and hopefully this to, but also meet some extraordinary people just like me here on this site. Thank you for reading. Holly-Ann
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cherrycolalola
February 25, 2012
Well thanks for sharing. I've been picking since I was 13, and I can relate to a lot of what you said. I have, and do feel trapped a lot of the time. I am just now learning better coping mechanisms and how to voice my feelings (even voicing them in my own head is difficult because my default mode is to suppress everything). Don't forget to celebrate being free from cutting! If you can be free from that you can be free from this too. I feel isolated and alone a lot of the time, but remember there are so many of us. This website is such a great place to come and not feel alone. I forget that I have support here a lot, but in my toughest times reading and posting here helps, I just have to push myself to get online. Have you tried wearing gloves sometimes? Could help.
Hollyrosemarie02
February 28, 2012
Welcome for sharing. What are your better coping mechanisms....??? Please share them lol ;.) yes the mind is a strong organ. I'm naturally negative of myself only. Of others no. So the voicing normally helps when I have a therapist I see to enforce them, but I just moved so we have no money or a therapist at the moment. So I feel alone right now. I know I am not, but you know what I mean lol ....??? I wouldn't know how to celebrate being free from cutting. Never did. I hope soon I can be free from this...!! I hear you doll that this site is a wonderful place to vent and talk to others just like you. I have thought of wearing gloves but never actually pushed myself to actually doing it. Thanks for writing me........Holly-Ann
lionessa
February 29, 2012
I CAN RELATE TO YOU I'VE BEEN A PICKER SINCE I WAS 9. I HAVE MY MOMENTS OF CLARITY BUT ALWAYS SEEM TO BACK TO THE PICKING, YOUR NOT ALONE
Hollyrosemarie02
March 01, 2012
Oh my GOD 9. So young to be subjected to this crap. I can relate to you, but I can't see how. I started at 14. You younger. Must be harder for you...!!! Started so young. How old are you? I hear you about going back to the picking though.

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