Getting teased at school = increasing anxiety

Hello. I just read your post and my heart is breaking for you and your daughter. I've been struggling with dermatillomania for 8 years and only learned that it was an actual conditon about a year ago. In the past year, I've come a long way from where I once was. I rarely pick and I've learned to recondintion my brain by forming new habits and a new perspective in the way I think and perceive life. Do you know if your daughter is using any sharp tools/implements to pick at her skin ie. scissors, tweezers, needles, etc? If so, these are the first things that need to be removed from her possession. Fake nails also help because they're not as sharp as real nails so damage can be minimal and they also make it a little more difficult to pick. Limiting mirrors or restricting access to rooms with mirrors in the house can also be beneficial in the healing/recovering process. I only mention this because if you should decide to let her be at home alone, as long as she doesn't have access to any mirrors or tools to aide in her picking, then the chances of her causing more damage to her skin won't be as great than if she were to have access to these things. Also, calamine lotion is great for healing wounds and the white/pink layer makes it impossible to see the imperfections on your skin and because it's fairly difficult to take off, it will also help minimize picking at the wounds that are trying to heal on her face. Does she sleep at night? I've found that using sleeping pills helps me feel more rested and not so anxious the next day. They also help keep me from obsessing and picking at my skin at night because the sleeping pills make me too tired and drowsy to care. Finally, if your daughter is suffering from acne and that's what is driving her to pick obsessively at her skin, a good facial cleanser is always a good investment. I've heard wonderful things about Phisohex Antibacterial Face Wash. You can get it with a prescription and it's used for people suffering from skin ailments, including acne. I recently purchased a bottle myself online from Australia instead of getting a prescripotion because I don't have health insurance, and I can't wait to try it. The main ingredient is 1% triclosan and the antibacterial property helps combat the bacteria that can cause acne breakouts and even infection, which as pickers, is something we all have a fear of having or getting. These are just a few of the things that have helped me. If you have any other questions, please don't hesitate to ask. The best thing you can do for your daughter is to remain involved and be a support system for her in her time of struggle.

Yes I have a suggestion. Since she's 17, and teen years are when acne is worst, I'm guessing that she has a specific condition that's picking acne sores (it has a name but I forget it). I had that too, for many years. What helped me was asking my doctor for a referral to a dermatologist, and treating the acne full-on. With far less acne, I don't pick my face much at all. I have to put the prescription gel on every night. I don't always remember and if I don't I still get a few pimples/inflammations. So getting the prescription gels and/or pills from a dermatologist is my first suggestion. I also asked the dermatologist for a referral to a psychodermatologist (I think that's the name) -- someone who specifically treats the psychological part of the problem. I'm still waiting on the appointment so can't share more about it yet, but I think requesting that too may also help.

Wow, I feel like if my mom new about this website she would post exactly the same comment. I'm a 17 year old girl who also has a picking problem. My mom gets very frustrated with me and there have been numerous times where I have pretended to be sick or have left school early because of my skin. I guess, coming from a girl who can relate to your daughter, it's best to give her all the love and support you can (something I dearly wish my own mom would do). make sure she knows that she is loved and that high school is only a very very short period in her life. Encourage her to look into counseling and be there for her yourself. I know my mom loves me and all, but she handled my problem in a very wrong manner. She made going to the therapist sound like it was only for crazy people and told me she was going to "take me to the shrink." And instead of being there for me, she yells and gets frustrated with me. Just try to imagine what it would be like to go through what your daughter's going through. I truly hope everything works out, and let your daughter know she is not alone!<3

Thanks again for all the great feedback. I so appreciate it. I only found this website thru googling "skin picking" and believe me, reading others' experiences has been a godsend. I also shared the website with my daughter who has also visited (but not posted anything in the forum, to my knowledge). My daughter has a dermatology appointment tomorrow (Tues March 27th) and we also see a therapist which has been tremendously helpful. I absolutely love and support my daughter - and I am very proud of her! The picking has decreased a tiny bit but still experiencing flare-ups - sometimes I think due to stress, anxiety, or even just boredom - if that makes sense? I am very hopeful that seeing the dermatologist will help and continuing with the therapist will also help. Thanks again from the bottom of my heart - and my daughter's - for all the great advice and encouragement.

I really admire your effort to help your daughter. I have struggled with Dermatillomania for about 8 years now and my husband has experienced your frustration. He has tried many things to help me stop and I will even admit that I often do not want his help. However, I have found that the one thing that helps me the most is when he hugs me. For the first while, he would get very upset and frustrated with me and be very angry I had picked. This reaction made me feel guilty and feel the urge to pick even more. Recently though, whenever he catches me in the action or notices that I have picked he will grab me in a huge embrace and just hold me and tell me how much he loves me. At the beginning, I forcefully resisted his hugs and tried to push him away because I felt unworthy of being loved. Now, his hugs inspire me to do better and change. Hopefully this will help you and your daughter as it has helped me. Maybe hugs will not work for her, but maybe some other token of affection will. I hope with all of my heart that she will be able to overcome this and not struggle with it for as long as I.