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iwillbecauseican. , 01 Jul 2012

My progress

This is my diary of how I'm doing every day. I hope it inspires myself and others to behave differently! I want to finally get my life back, recently I've been getting close, but it's not enough yet. I will not stop until I'm 'normal' and can wear whatever I want when I want, not be afraid that I'm permanently damaging my body, and not be judged or stared at by others. I want to feel great when Iook in the mirror or think of what I look like, as every person deserves to. Please feel free to join in whatever I do, I hope this can help others as well as me!
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iwillbecauseican.
July 01, 2012
I read online that a scratch takes around a week to heal. A week is a long time for me not to scratch, but I'll try! I'll discount one little scratch, as long as no big ones happen and I don't scratch more than once, rather than trying something I can't realistically do.
iwillbecauseican.
July 01, 2012
I managed not to pick in the night too much, except near my eye (not my actual eye) , but I think it was more because I was tired. Clenching fists and not doing anything is a huge test of willpower, especially when before it's what filled your days.
iwillbecauseican.
July 02, 2012
Day 2-It's going well, I keep going to scratch and then remind myself not to. I have done so a few times but it's tough breaking a habit! I hope a day comes when it doesn't even occur to me to scratch/pick.
iwillbecauseican.
July 03, 2012
Day 3-I began today with the aim of not picking even once, which I'll try to do everyday. Ignoring one or two tiny scratches, it went really well! I had two mosquito bites yesterday which made it difficult but overall it was good, I continually raised my hands to pick but managed to stop myself. Feeling really proud, I'm just impatient to get to a point where I don't even have to stop myself and I don't do it at all.
iwillbecauseican.
July 05, 2012
Day 5-Yesterday and today I fell back again, it's disappointing and angering and after years I feel like there's just no end to this and never will be. But I'm determined to not stop trying, from this second I'll pick it back up.

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