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Hi, I've been reading on this forum for a while, but this is my first posting.
I've been done minor skin picking and hair pulling for as long as I remember, but I didn't see it as a problem until 2 years ago even many people have commented on it over the years.
What made me reach my personal bottom was freaking out over 3 soars (originally moscito bites) that hasn't healed for over 2 years. I started to freak out, tripping about skin cancer, but deep inside me I knew that I created it myself by picking many times every day at them. I also started to grow an increased awarness of how uneven and frizzy my hair is because of my constant pulling.
I always been pulling and picking in public and never felt ashamed of it until lately. However, at times I had more extreme behaviors: for instance for years I was pulling skins of my heals until it bleed and I could hardly walk. I also rip of pieces of my finger nails and pull of the surronding skin and that maked my fingers look really terrible.
I never realized that I might have dermi- and trichotilomania since my behaviors never got as extreme as the "TV-cases". First after starting to read your stories last month, I realized that I do have these diseases, just in a milder version.
For the past few weeks I've been constantly focusing on leavin to of my soars alone and they have now turned into normal nicelooking scars. The third spot I'm still picking at. In addition I created a few new very small picking spot. For the first time in my 40 year old life I have longer fingernails and I am no longer ashamed of my hands. I pick a little bit on the surronding skin and I clean my nails way to often, but my picking has shown great improvment on this spot.
I touch my hair less and I cut it a little bit shorter which I think help.
I overall feel very satisfied with my great progress, but what bothers me is that I can't hold my finger still, not even a minute. I get very anxious if my hands are not constantly moving.
Even if I not yet understand the whole picture, I know that my behaviors springs from anxiety. I know I have to deal with the underlying problem (the anxiety), but for now I focus on harm reduction. My next goal is to let my 3rd 2 year old soar heal and stop picking at the new picking spots in my face. (LOL I just found myself pulling my hair as I was thinking of what to write next). I also have to leave my hair alone.
I feel a little bit scattered since this is a new awareness to me. I will to continue to write about my progress here and I want you all to know that I'm reall thankful you are hear.
Thanks for listening,
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