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soembarrassed , 08 Aug 2012

Ruining my face

I am 40 almost 41 and for the last 3 years have been destroying my face. Any little bump i pick at until I am left with an open wound. These wounds used to heal fairly quickly now they take months. They start to heal and I CANT STAND THE SCAB OR FLAKES OF SKIN so of course I pick at those. I really need to stop this as now I am starting to get scars, which then I pick at thinking if I can get that little raised uneven skin picked off then problem solved - no more scar. That is not the case. You then have an open wound all over again that starts healing with scar and all. I cant tell you how many times I have called in to work with one excuse or another as I am too embarrassed to be seen. I have even gone to lunch and picked and called in some "family emergency" that I have to go take care of as not to return. I cant stand the feeling that there is a spot light on every little mark. I constantly watch people's eyes to see if they are looking at my marks. This is so ruining my life. I never want to go anywhere. Cancel plans all the time. My friends tell me I am being parinoid that you cant even tell there are marks on my face. Who do they think they are kidding? I have mirrors (which I look in at least 100 times a day) I can see them, so I know they can. I really dont know why I started doing this. The best I can figure is when I started seeing this guy and felt that I HAVE to have perfect skin or he would not be interested. I know this not to be the case as scabby marks or not he always wants to do something with me. I cant tell you how many times I have backed out of plans with him just so he wouldnt see the mess of my face. I am at a lost on what to do. How to stop. How to heal. I really dont want to spend the remainder of my life with band aids on my face at night trying in vane to heal the mess I have created. Any tricks you all have on healing these nasty marks, or stopping the urge to pick would be greatly appreciated and welcomed.
289 Answers
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soembarrassed
November 07, 2012
Ok at lunch...moment of truth. Not picking however demon spot was looking dry. So i applied a little polysporin then a light dusting of powder with a qtip. Now I am hightailing it back to work before I mess with it more....grrrrrrr
soembarrassed
November 07, 2012
I went a whole hour without looking in a mirror!!! Can you believe it!!! Also Day 1 so far no picking!!!!
soembarrassed
November 07, 2012
I did it! No picking! Ready for day 2. On my way home i took some polysporin and massaged it on my demonic spot. 1...hoping it will heal faster. And 2...hoping to break up the forming scar tissue from over picking. Was still self concious at work but I am working through it in my brain. Trying to stop the obsessive checking it in a mirror...baby steps on that. Sitting here with sudocrem on. Hoping this pink fades fast. Please please please.
soembarrassed
November 08, 2012
Do you guys find a that you have a loss of appititte? When I am feeling low about this I dont eat. Plus I am afraid If I move my jaw to much where my demon spot is that it will crack and break open again
soembarrassed
November 08, 2012
Day 2. Things are looking better. Ladies I have found that massaging polysporin on the spot especially the ones that will not heal because we wont leave them alone is helping me. Not only am I not picking it but by massaging it am getting the satisfaction of picking. I am fooling my brain into thinking I am picking when I am not. I have also being putting on a glob of sudocrem at night. These 2 things have done the following. Polysporin is keeping it from being over dry and the massaging is helping break up the scar tissue...I think.... and the sudocrem is taking away the red/pinkish color helping it blend in a little bit more each day. Trust me my spot is far from gone but damn it looks better. And that is what counts. Seeing that it is getting better stops me from messing/picking at it. Oh and I almost forgot I have also been putting on a layer of aloe vera at night. This is acting as a moisturizer without making my skin oily. As when I use any oil free moisturizer my skin is like an oil slick so gross! Good luck to all of you with a no pick day and healing healing healing!
soembarrassed
November 08, 2012
This hole in my face is causing a hole in my Soul!!!!
soembarrassed
November 08, 2012
How many of you have been left with scars? If so I how do you face the day? This is really more upsetting to me than the picking.
hope2heal
November 09, 2012
Make up. Lots and lots of make up. I moisturise then apply foundation all over my face. Sometimes I allow to dry and then reapply to the problem areas. Then i use concealer on specific blemishes. Longer term try bio-oil. Plus, please bear in mind that the scars are sure to be much worse to you than the outside world. xo
soembarrassed
November 09, 2012
Day 3....I can do this. Almost the weekend and I am going to let my skin breath for 2 days. Only using the aloe vera. Good luck today ladies and gents hope you are healing and have a pick free day!!!
SpottyFace
November 10, 2012
Hey Girl! So glad it's the weekend!, How was your day at work today? MIne was a little better..I'm hoping that I can really let my spots heal over the next two days and the next two weekends. I need to go to a dermatologist, but I'm gonna have to come clean about my problem when I go. There's really no other way to explain these spots. I did buy some bio oil and neutrogena exfoliation kit thing..maybe that will help...
soembarrassed
November 10, 2012
Work was ok. So glad it is the weekend. 48 straight hours of healing! The only good thing about this scar/healing wound is that I went to pick a spot saw the scar and told myself I would have another scar like that if I picked again....well that worked...boy did i step away from the mirror. I tried the bio oil but it was to oily for my skin. My skin felt itchy after using it a couple times. I have ordered rose hip oil as I have read that works to even out the skin and to help deminish scars. Glad you had a better day at work and yes I too still want to work from home. :)
SpottyFace
November 10, 2012
Yeah, I've never really suffered the consequences from my picking as much as I have lately. Between having this new job and having NO time to take off and being left with scars that I'm afraid are permanent, its been really rough. There is definitely no better motivation than to see the end result of my picking! I'm mostly concerned about disapointing and letting my husband down. He is so handsome and wonderful (with perfectly smooth skin, grrr) and he deserves to have a wife with clear, normal looking skin. A wife who he can be proud of. I think that's the driving factor when I start trying to "fix" the scars. Even though I am a loving and loyal wife, and I work really hard, I feel like a failure with these marks on my face. Let me know how the rose hip oil works. I'm going to see about having a tca peel done. It's supposed to really help with scars. What would you do if you could work from home? What kind of job do you have now?..(if that's too personal,.. sorry...just tell me to butt out:)
soembarrassed
November 10, 2012
I know what you mean. My picking is driven by the need to have perfect skin and in trying to get to that point I make it look worse. The oh crap look what I did is followed by I can fix and smooth that out with a oh crap I made it worse feeling right after the fix it moment. I have a deep need to be perfect for my fwb (friend with benifets) ;) ;) I am a customer service rep at a phone company....love my job...have worked there for 15 years...just not loving going in these days looking like a crack head. Your husband loves you flaws and all so you really should not stress over that. You need to stop picking for you...not anyone else...do this for yourself. What kind of job do you have?
SpottyFace
November 10, 2012
I know you're right..this is definitely for me! I want to feel confident and comfortable with myself. This is effecting every aspect of my life and I know that I have so much more to offer than what I'm currently able to give. I think I just need to leave it to the professionals to fix my scars...cause what I'm doing obviously aint' workin'!!! I'm also a customer service rep. and I work for an insurance company. I like it and I'm pretty good at it but I think it's something that I could do from home. How's your weekend of healing going?
soembarrassed
November 10, 2012
Going good so far....I too am letting the professionals do their magic although I cant get in until dec 17th...so until then I am going to rock this scar and stop hiding because of it. And I will not create anymore! One little demonic scar is not going to ruin me. We are beautiful no matter what! We just need to believe that!
goal orientated
December 07, 2012
The two of you are lucky as it seems you're both seated in offices which is great for your hide out days. I am practicallly doing presentations, all day, every day! That means on my rushed foundation days, my scars accidently get exposed under a beam of light. No exaggeration - I am a Psychology lecturer in London. X
goal orientated
December 07, 2012
Rosehip oil... Be cautious to never apply it on open sores because many reviewers have stated that it makes acne appear over night, unless the skin is completely closed. I love it for scarring, more than bio oil. How are you finding rosehip oil? X
soembarrassed
November 09, 2012
Everywhere you read they say go to a dermatologist...they can help this they can help that feeling down about scars go to a dermatogist they can help! Well hell what good is that if you have to wait for a month before they can see you. Do they not realize how much damage i can do in a month!

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