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soembarrassed , 08 Aug 2012

Ruining my face

I am 40 almost 41 and for the last 3 years have been destroying my face. Any little bump i pick at until I am left with an open wound. These wounds used to heal fairly quickly now they take months. They start to heal and I CANT STAND THE SCAB OR FLAKES OF SKIN so of course I pick at those. I really need to stop this as now I am starting to get scars, which then I pick at thinking if I can get that little raised uneven skin picked off then problem solved - no more scar. That is not the case. You then have an open wound all over again that starts healing with scar and all. I cant tell you how many times I have called in to work with one excuse or another as I am too embarrassed to be seen. I have even gone to lunch and picked and called in some "family emergency" that I have to go take care of as not to return. I cant stand the feeling that there is a spot light on every little mark. I constantly watch people's eyes to see if they are looking at my marks. This is so ruining my life. I never want to go anywhere. Cancel plans all the time. My friends tell me I am being parinoid that you cant even tell there are marks on my face. Who do they think they are kidding? I have mirrors (which I look in at least 100 times a day) I can see them, so I know they can. I really dont know why I started doing this. The best I can figure is when I started seeing this guy and felt that I HAVE to have perfect skin or he would not be interested. I know this not to be the case as scabby marks or not he always wants to do something with me. I cant tell you how many times I have backed out of plans with him just so he wouldnt see the mess of my face. I am at a lost on what to do. How to stop. How to heal. I really dont want to spend the remainder of my life with band aids on my face at night trying in vane to heal the mess I have created. Any tricks you all have on healing these nasty marks, or stopping the urge to pick would be greatly appreciated and welcomed.
289 Answers
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kttttk6
February 04, 2013
That's great. Im trying to do the commitment thing here in one of the forums and today is day one to post on there and my goal is to try to not look in the mirror and not touch my face. Well, needless to say, I've already been messing up with touching. I've only looked a couple of times but for the most part i haven't picked yet today.maybe i won't. Cross our fingers but my anxiety is so high. Thanks so much for replying to let me know someone is atleast listening. You can message me if you'd like. My email is kttttk6@gmail.com
Ocdchick91
February 16, 2013
Hello all. This is my first time posting in a forum like this but boy do I Need help. I think the reason I pick is this intrinsic need to be perfect all the time. I never leave the house without my hair done, my makeup on etc. when I get a pump or something that feels anything but smooth I have this crazy Need to get everything out. I am incapable of popping a pimple like a normal person. I end up with huge massive scabs that I can't explain. Ill tell people I burned myself with a curlin iron, ill skip class because I can't have anyone see me. I'm 21, in my last year at college and have multiple roommates and I make sure I'm thirst on awake every morning because I don't want them to see my damaged fave without makeup. I go such long days because of my schedule that my biggest fear is that some of the makeup what's come off. Nighttime is almost a relief because I get to take it all off and cover it in creams and products that hide it. I need to stop. Today is day 1. Who has advice? I just want to be normal and not rush for coverup the moment my eyes open. Help! Also I have a huge scab on my cheek currently- should I put those advanced healing bandages on it even though it says for blisters??
Lily19
March 03, 2013
Hey there, I know this post was from awhile ago but I'm wondering how you are doing now? I can relate to every bit of your message, in such a similar way it's almost scary. Though I'm not an expert at this, I do know one thing - We care about our faces more than the people around us. I thought for the longest time everyone would know when I picked. And they did - But they noticed I was depressed and unhappy, but not the marks on my face. People who don't have this disease don't understand it because to them acne is acne - everyone gets it. To us it's more because it's self-inflicted. What I can say to you is put your own face first - not the looks you get back from others. You know that one week you don't pick and you feel great? Remember that, and never forget it. It's easy to be happy, we just have to let ourselves. If you want specific pieces of advice, here's what has worked for me: After each night, I wash off my make up and apply 3 layers of Calamine lotion to my face. This lotion is for rashes and wounds on the skin, which is really what a scab is. Too often we don't associate it with a wound. Then, I leave it on for an hour. Then, lotion and off to bed. But the next important step is to keep picking on your mind each day - Not in a negative light, but be aware of it. Be aware of your urges. I put band aides on my two pointer fingers each day, as a constant reminder of what I won't let my hands do. I really hope the best for you. Good luck.
Qwertyuiop
March 03, 2013
I do this to and it's awfull, I always go to school with massive red marks on my face and I can just feel people staring at my wounds. It's horrible but I have tried every singe cream alive and done everything i could possibly think of. This morning there was a tiny spot that even when I was popping it i know I shouldn't have. I now have a massive open wound that I hope I will never have to see again, I always try to cover it up with makeup, that sometimes works but I have to re perfect it almost every half an hour! I don't really know what to do but as I am typing this on my ipad, I have toothpaste on my spot and I have tried it before and it really brings ut the redness of the spots, for a while at least, I'm sorry but that's kinda all that I do and I haven't scarred.
acabaricsocial2
May 25, 2013
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irishgirl16
November 10, 2016

Hi everyone, just wondering if this forum is still active as I really need help and support.. If somebody could please reply It would be greatly appreciated❤️

Amy19587
November 11, 2016

Hi irishgirl16,
Not sure this thread is so active but I do come on this forum frequently... No sure I can help but I can do my best.

Living.dead.girl
November 12, 2016

Oh man, I totally understand....yes, nail clippers are my favorite tool for picking...and yes... I've had huge holes in my face.... I now am suffering from angular cheilitis .... It's been there for two months ... And trying not to pick at it is nearly impossible.... Trying to cover it with make up is ALWAYS a nightmare... Because it just looks terrible either way, without make up it's a big red cracked mess, with make up it's a noticeable mess with the defined cracks that the make up won't adhere to.... I've been using and trying everything from athletes foot cream, advanced healing cortisone cream, triple anti biotic ointment, straight aloe from the plant, tea tree oil, virgin organic coconut oil, fresh lemon, peroxide, vitamin e and olive oil palmers lotion, palmers coco butter lotion, neem oil, eucalyptus oil, lavender oil.... You name it, I've bought it and have used it... Even the calamine lotion treatment..... NOTHING has gotten rid of it yet.... It has slightly helped.... But still remains in it's angry fury on my face.... I have been late to work many times just trying to cover it up successfully with make up... Only to feel defeated because it just looks horrible.... I'm embarrassed to go out into public and I get so frusterated that it brings me to tears... So many times I've wanted to call in to work so I wouldn't have to show my face, but I always have to go because there's nothing else I can do.... I admit all these products have helped, but angular chielitis is almost more frusterating than having that huge picked hole in your face.... I've had such a hard time dealing with my picking and skin conditions.... And my heart goes out to each and every one of you.... We all wish there was a quick fix healing remedy that will make it all go away.... But there is no over night miracle cure, or cream or oil or anything...... And it sucks.... The only thing we can do is treat the problem as best we can , try not to mess with it any more than we already have, conceal it as best as we can and hope that it heals sooner than later.... Easier said than done.... Believe me! I've found that tea tree oil, neem oil, organic virgin coconut oil and pure aloe have worked the best so far.... Calamine lotion treatment has also helped picked sores in the past also. Just keep applying and refrain from picking! That's the best advice I can give...

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