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wantalife39 , 17 Aug 2012

Dreaded dinner date

Oh I just wanna kill my partner!!! He has recently made friends with a lovely local guy who has been doing some building for us. Now thats all good no problems...until my partner has suggested that we (being the friend and his partner) and us all go for dinner. What is the problem you say...well the "partner" is drop dead gorgeous and has NOT even got a wrinkle never mind a BLOODY zit.!!!! (And apparently is a health nut..good one.) The only bonus to this situation is that she has not seen me and no date has been officially set. Thank god. Anyho, I, being the positive little sparrow I am have decided that this is the perfect excuse to sort things out. Everytime I wanna pick I just think about the dinner date and can not picture myself looking like you wanna play join the dots on my face.!!! So, I have to give it 100%. There is NO way I am going to say to my partner that I dont wanna go. It would just tip him. In saying all this I have also recently decided to give up smoking after 20 years and have taken up weightlifting, which at 39 may seem stupid, however I have not had any children and I was a gymnast for many years so its not as bad as it sounds. It has up to this point taken my mind totally off picking and I am feeling better about myself in general.(when im down i feel worthless and pick) But if you were to arrive at my place right now you would just piss your pants laughing...you would find 11 mirrors at the front door looking for new homes , a packet of cigarettes bound in cellotape stuck to the fridge next to a picture of a woman that looks like rambo, the last 2 mirrors are covered with notes telling me not to pick and I am cruising around with 2 pairs of latex gloves on. Oh you just have to laugh sometimes!!! I will keep you posted on the dinner. Deep down I would like to think it would be me in the end setting the date!! havent picked for 28 hours XX
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soembarrassed
August 17, 2012
28 Hours - WAY TO GO - I have not piced in 24 hours!!!! I am going to start wearing the latex gloves myself - especially when I am driving. That tends to be when my hands wander. I am hoping in doing so that the next 48 hours will show a huge improvement and that I can go to work Monday looking normal again. So my plan is to put the gloves on immediatly after getting out of the shower. Do you think you can still put on moisturizer on wearing these? I also am not putting anything else on - no calamaine - no neosporin - no healing cream. I am wondering if in doing so I am hindering the healing as this one picked spot has been hanging around for 2 1/2 months now - while the others have healed. But this is also the spot that I just cant seem to leave alone as it is more on the front of my face and not off to the side. So I think that is why I focus on that one. I have one mirror in my bathroom - I am going to leave it foggy after the shower and just go about my routine without being able to see. No other mirrors in my house (thank goodness) this the exception of the ones in my bedroom attached to my headboard and to my dresser. I am not worried about these as I have never used them for picking time. I am sticking to the 48 hours - then I will do another 48 hours and so on. I am sick of the looks at work. I cant say they really stare with an open mouth or anything, but while they are talking to me I find that they tend to reach up and scratch their face in the exact same spot where I have a mess going on. So good luck to you - keep me posted!! xoxoxo
wantalife39
August 17, 2012
Hi soembarressed, I just wrote you a long lovely reply and my computer crash just as I went to submit it (Im in New zealand) and we have been having storms!! Lord give me strength...Im gonna try again.
wantalife39
August 17, 2012
Ok im gonna try again, I used the gloves last night while I was watching TV and it worked perfectly. i did however put my hands to my face over 30 times but because the latex felt so weird I straight away became aware of what I was doing and put my hands down. I left my gloves on too brush my teeth and apply my antibiotic cream then took them off when I got into bed. I never want to pick when there is cream on them. Why I dont know, maybe because I prefer the dry scab. Anyho, in regards to the moisturiser, I get outa the shower , pat my skin dry (careful not to make anything bleed or take the top of any that are healed) then immediately put on the antibiotic cream then straight away on goes the moisturiser. Then I get the hell outa there. It takes me fromt the time I get out of the shower about one minute to do all of this. It never felt right to me to keep the marks / zits covered with plasters as I find they heal way faster when dry. Its when they are dry that I feel the need to pick the scab off. This is the REAL problem time for me to get them to heal. I dont pick in the shower at all even when I am washing my face (i only use Dove soap for cleaning). Yesterday I could see that there was some small amount of puss in my chin one but I made a choice not to touch it because that is why I am putting the antibiotic cream on!! After reading your note above it became very clear to me that both you and I are more than prepared to put the energy into what work collegues think but we wouldnt put that energy and worry into ourselves. Why do we care about what people think but we dont care about ourselves? I asked this question to myself sometimes every 5 minutes. It seems to keep things in perspective. Big hugsxxxxxx P.S. I do apply my antibiotic cream 2 times during the day when not wearing makeup as it is a white cream and dries pretty fast. (u dont need a mirror for this you know where all the scabs and zits are im sure) xxx
wantalife39
August 18, 2012
Oh I wanna pick at my face so bad. Came so close...man it just creeps up on me from nowhere. Still havent touched it. In 2 hrs 20mins I will be pick free for 48 hours. I was just doing the housework and something triggered me. Wow that was close. However the minute I thought I was gonna pick I thought of everyone on this site and it kept me on the right track. Thank goodness for this site.
soembarrassed
August 18, 2012
Funny..I do they same thing. Go to pick and think about everyone posting here and some of you are doing so good that I don't want to post that I failed making it through the day...so it stops me. I love this site. It is helping me so much. Thank you all for your encouragement and support...and especially your understanding on how hard this is!!! You all are the best and I hope I am helping some of you as well!!! Have a good pick free night!

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