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reaching.higher , 01 Sep 2012

hanging on to clothes you can no longer wear...

I was going through my closet the other day and looking at all the tanks tops that I used to be able to wear and thinking that "once my skin clears up I'll wear this again." The thing is that my chest, back and shoulders are covered in scars and have been for the past 5 years. The only way I can wear skin-showing clothes is with a cake load of make up on the exposed skin and I usually don't care enough to hassle myself with it. I don't know why I still continue this wishful thinking. Also, it is always awkward when friends and family members by you clothes that would look great on you but you never wear it and they think that you didn't like it because they don't know you have dermatillomania. Does anybody else do this or is it just me?Take care!
7 Answers
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shylittelgirl
September 01, 2012
don' t worry your not alone your just like me :(
reaching.higher
September 06, 2012
@shylittelgirl: thank you for letting me know I'm not alone.it helps me more than you know!I read your other post and it said you are 10 years old?I think it is great that you've addressed your dermatillomania at your age because your in a place where you can more easily correct it instead of at 21 like me. I started at 9 and wish I would have known about this then but everything happens for a reason and this will make us both stronger people overcoming it. Take care sunshine and let me know how you're coming along!:)
Emmi
September 04, 2012
I felt the exact same way for so long, You might feel like your never going to get there, But you will, I believe in you. For years I was never able to wear shorts or singlets, because I was to afraid of what people would say, they would always ask if they were mozzie bites and when I tried to explain to them, they would always look at me like I was weird. So I'd go home and spend the next few hours picking my skin to make it smooth and go away, knowing full well I was only making it worse. Until one day, I was going to a festival in the middle of summer, I wore pants and a long sleeved top because I didnt want people to see my skin, I ended up dehydrating and passing up, I woke up in an ambulance. It made me realise that I needed to try and sort my self out. I went and spoke to my doctor, and he got me on anti biotics to help my skin heal, and I decided I was going to accept my condition for what it was, and take it day by day. I started slowly by wearing lighter pants and sort sleeved t-shirts, when people would ask if they were mozzie bites I would just agree with them, and say 'Yeah, they must think I'm tasty' Eventually I was wearing shorts and boob tubes, without a second thought. Its been 2 years since my ambulance incident and I've stopped picking my legs, arms and body and only really pick my face when I'm anxious, It helps to relieve stress, but Im getting there, My scars on the rest of my body have gone and I no longer feel I need to hide my condition You will get there, Stay strong and know that there are people out there just like us, Your not alone, and most people dont even see the scars, those who do, probably has a similar obsession with smooth perfect skin that we do. :) I hope this help you to feel more encouraged to continue with your goal of getting back into those old clothes. Cause I believe you can do it :)
reaching.higher
September 06, 2012
@Emmi: Your story encouraged me so much!I'm stressing out about graduate school applications and have been picking at my skin a little more than usual. When I start to pick I try to mentally address myself in my mind and say "What is making you pick right now? What are you insecure or worried about?" I try my best to answer them so I can become aware of what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. I just recently started doing this so it's a work in progress. Also, using a night light in the bathroom helped a little to limit my time I spent in there. I'm glad you recovered and are wearing all the clothes you desire.I am sure you look beautiful!I can't wait until I reach that day and just maybe I can wear my old clothes again (if they are not out-of-style by then haha) I'm working on being comfortable with opening about it and revealing the scars that I do have because it's one of my worst nightmares to be honest. Since I am of a darker complexion I have hyper-pigmentation and so I am covered in all these dark spots and I worry that people may not understand what they are and think I have leprosy or I am on meth (I do not drink or do drugs). It's a work in progress but your encouragement truly does help me. Much love and take care!:)
Emmi
September 06, 2012
Im SO happy to hear that my story has been encouraging for you! I know that fear of people judging, and it scares the shit out of anyone, one thing you have to remember is, those who love you, dont judge you, and those who judge you, dont know you! if they dont know you, who honestly cares what they think, they dont understand what your going through, or what you have been through and I can promise anyone who DOES understand what your feeling, wouldnt judge you. Even if your clothes are out of style, still put them on when your hanging around your house, because they are the clothes that you are trying to feel good in again. it helps with that feeling of achievement. Another tactic for facing the dreaded mirror, when you do see yourself, tell your self positive things "My skin is looking better then yesterday" "My skin is healing" "Wow, my spots ARE getting BETTER" "Tomorrow they will be even MORE healed". This really helped me facing up to the mirror and over coming my CSP. :) Keep up the good work, you'll get there in no time, and I BET you would still look beautiful in those old clothes, regardless of the marks. Beauty is NOT just skin deep, it goes right to the soul :D.
angeliakatte
March 05, 2013
It's very disgusting when we are not able to wear our favorite clothes due to the skin problem. I knew it because faced the similar problem.However, now I am fine with skin problem and wears my desired clothes.The direction given by the skin specialist made it possible. http://www.modz.fr
robertos
August 06, 2013
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