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tarab , 20 Jan 2009

Split End Pickers?

Okay, I don't know if ya'll do this but, I rip out my split ends and I have to see what they look like. I have to ge them all out of my hair. I am ripping out the back of my hair! Help, do you do this?
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lydialouise
January 03, 2013
yep. im just another split end picker and i absolutely hate it. i am sick of it. but i just cant seem to stop. Even now, as i'm writing this, i have stoped at least two times already just to have a check whether there's one dangling around so i can grab it and either bite it (yes i know! it is ferral!) or snap it or pull the hair out depending on what it looks like -and i hardly made it into the second sentence! any opportunity i get, in the sun light, in front of the white computer screen, in front of the mirror so i can find them from all angles..the list goes on. and if im in a situation where i can't pick in front of someone, ill grab it and make it look like i'm twirling my hair like a normal person, but until i'm out of the way. i just can't seem to help myself. i've been doing it for around about 2 years now, and i just want to stop. my hair is uneven at the back, not to mention that the under layer is signifficantly shorter to the rest of my hair. tying it up doesn't work either. i just end up subconsciously pulling it back out and playing with it. sometimes i analyse and pick my hair for hours! -when im supposed to be doing other things, more important things. this year i am going into year 12, my final year at school. and i want to go well, but i know that i am only disadvantaging myself because of my problem of being distracted all the time. i have cut my hair shorter,even though i am ultimately aiming for healthy long hair...that is my dream anyway. lamely, i sometimes use a showercap when studying and aOMG i wish i would stop.... someone out there has to have a solution! anyone!!!!!!!!!!!! please! i need help! is there a medication????? so glad to know that there are others out there like myself who are in the same boat and need help too
Clt24
January 03, 2013
OMG I THOUGHT I WAS ALONE!!!!!!!! I always pick at my hair I have bald spots and everything it's bad i had suicidal thoughts once I love it but hate it to
ADinNY
January 04, 2013
I am 33 years old and have been picking my split ends/pulling out my hair since age 12. It feels horrible and is embarrassing to feel like I have no control and have not been able to stop doing this. My hair picking is the only thing that my husband and I ever fight about, and I am at a loss as to how I can stop. The worst part now is that my 2 year old daughter has seen me do it and imitates me sometimes too. :( I am terrified that one day this habit will ruin my marriage, because I know that my husband is disgusted by it, and no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to be able to stop. I zone out for hours at a time picking, and have to fight to keep from doing it at work. I even pick in my car. When I was younger I picked my face too, but grew out of it in my 20s. The fact that I have not been able to control myself is just horrible, because I have been able to succeed both academically and professionally, yet feel that I am a slave this awful habit.
Rosmertas
January 06, 2013
I'm so glad I'm not alone I litterally have 1/5 of the hair I had before I have to make about 7 twists in a hair tie to put my hair in a pony tail and everywhere I go I pick my split ends and there is a pile of hair I swear I will be bald one day and I can't stop
Rosmertas
January 06, 2013
I'm even scared to go to the hair salon to get my hair cut because I have like none
Rosmertas
January 06, 2013
And from te hair I pull out the hair that's growing in sticks up because its so short and people make fun at me of it and my Friends try not to be mean and said uhh your hair is sticking up
Solution Seeker
January 30, 2013
Reading this blog was comforting yet disturbing at the same time. It dawned on me that a solution is what's needed here. I am a creative thinker, and although I have not been able to stop playing with my hair myself, reading your words has inspired me to come up with a possible solution. We really need to think of this as an addiction and call ourselves on it. Whoever said in one of the previous blogs that she told her husband and family to remind her when she does it, that's brilliant! To say out loud that you have this problem is the first step. Everyone sees us doing it anyway, so what's the difference. Listen, we all know how much time we are wasting pulling at our hair. In fact, I am starting a new job next week and I am vowing not to play with my hair for the entire time that I am at my job! How am I going to do this?? I am going to promise to all of YOU that I am not going to do it!!! I have found that making a conscious effort to think about it when I start to do it helps me to stop. In order to help make it conscious, ill write myself little notes (and put them in different places where I will see it often) reminding me not to do it. Because this is a difficult addiction like all other addictions, you need to start small and give yourself little goals. Tell yourself that there is a certain time where you absolutely won't do it and may try to increase that time little by little, and maybe even keep a journal. --- I just spoke to my husband and told him I'd really like to stop playing with my hair, to which he replied "you're ALWAYS playing with your hair!!" and I said, well I'd like to stop. Can you please remind me to stop when you see me doing it? And he said he'd be happy to. I then reminded him that I tell him to stop biting his nails, I need him to help me stop playing with my hair. To be honest I winced when I started to say it out loud, but then it felt good to commit to it and get it out in the open. I haven't even looked to see if there is a support group, I'm sure there is, but the thought of signing up to one doesn't appeal to me - however hopefully some of my suggestions can help all of us, or at least some!!! I'm in this with you, and to be honest, it feels good to be doing something about it. I am going to start a little journal to keep track of - starting when I'm done with this long blog - lol - and track the time that I DON'T play with my hair. The idea is to be able to write down as much time as possible throughout your day till we are no longer doing it and only see it for the problem that it is. Between the reminder notes, our (close) family reminding us, and consciously tracking our time (no different than watching what we eat!!) maybe we can become more productive and nip this in the bud. I'm sure we are a dynamic group of women and the bottom line is that we share the same problem and have to help each other. Well, I've already committed to this by engaging my husband and putting it out there to all of you. Anyone else in??? :o)
Jaja888
January 31, 2013
I just wish that people would treat this as an actual disease and not a self-control issue. My parents think that it's because I'm just dumb. I (mostly) stopped pulling my hair once I decided to start counting every hair I pulled for a week. I stopped after 3 days.
Solution Seeker
February 01, 2013
I've done great for two days now and it feels really good! Even if my hand goes up to my hair, I'm more aware of what im doing and just stop. I have to have more control over it than it has over me. I'm also telling people (close friends only) that I've stopped, which will keep me accountable!! Whatever it takes!!
Solution Seeker
February 01, 2013
Because I stopped playing with my hair, my husband stopped biting his nails! I'm thrilled!
rayann
February 27, 2013
I'm so thankful to find a sort of "support group" for this with people actively and recently posting! I have been picking/cutting my split ends for 6 or 7 years now. (Started in high school; I've now graduated college.) My family is annoyed greatly by my habit, but I just can't stop. I'm pretty good about refraining while around other people, but I live apart from my family, and I could spend an hour or two each evening picking at my hair if I start. I'd have to put my hair up in a ponytail to reduce temptation, although that didn't help at work because if things were slow at work, I'd just pick at my ponytail. But I want to stop! It's embarrassing, I'm sick of having little pieces of hair all over the bathroom counter and on the floor in the car, and I feel like I've just wasted so much time in my life with this stupid addiction. I'm ready to reclaim my life and move on! I was reading that there's a generally accepted theory that it takes 30 straight days of success to break a bad habit. So here is what I'm doing: I've taken 30 quarters and written numbers 1-30 on each of them in washable marker. Each day that I successfully abstain from picking at my hair, I will drop a quarter in a jar. If I revert back to picking, even for a day, I will dump all the quarters out of the jar and start again. But when I successfully get all 30 quarters in the jar, I plan to let myself buy a knitting pattern (I *love* knitting!) with the money from the jar. Maybe the addiction won't be permanently broken after 30 days, but I can always repeat the process every 30 days as an incentive to stick to it. I plan to keep myself busy with work, hobbies, exercising, cooking, cleaning. Put my hair in a ponytail. Place a note to myself on my desk at work, post notes in my kitchen, bathroom.. anything and everything to break this addiction! And if I revert back and fail for even a day, I will post in this group and let everyone know. That way I can be held accountable. I hope this works, and if anyone wants a partner for support or something while dealing with this, I'm here for you. Seriously. Don't be embarrassed or shy. I could stand to have the support as much as you could. :)
hair123
March 29, 2013
you sound just like me! So glad there are others and I'm not the only crazy one that can't stop this! I just posted a comment and you should read it. I've been rid of the habit for 3 or 4 days now and I'm not tempted. but Its a sacrifice to be made to stop ( at least for me it was) thanks for sharing!
kayleigh1995
March 18, 2013
Hi. I have had this problem for coming on 2 years now and it seems to be overtaking my life in certain ways, my family especially my mum screams at me when I do it, which I still deny I do it which makes us argue, my boyfriend trys his hardest not too get frustrated, my friends try not to mention it but I know that they are thinking it, it comes to the point where I can sit there for hours, I have to brush off my clothes and even the table I work on at college, everywhere I go I can't break off this habit. I will stop anything I'm doing if I see one at the corner of my eye, I've tried making my hands busy all the time, nothing works. I used to have long beautiful thick hair down to my bum and now, if its in a ponytail you can see bits sticking out of every direction and when its down it seems to look odd, I have a bald patch on the side of my head now, where the hairline is and I've stopped with that certain part but it seems to be breaking off anyway. I struggle to look in the mirror sometimes its making me so self concious, I don't mean to sound vain but I'm not an ugly person, I'm 18 soon and this should be my prime but instead this habit is constently fucking with me. Reading this blog had me in tears because I honestly thought I was the only one that had this problem until today.. I just need some help with it, I can't see the doctors helping nor a counceller, anyone. I didn't mean to sound like a emotional wreck writing this but I feel so relieved right now.
rayann
March 18, 2013
Kayleigh1995, I'm so glad you decided to look for help on the internet (who knew, right?!). As you can read below, I've had this problem for 6 or 7 years. For probably 5 or 6 of those years, I thought, hey, this habit isn't hurting anyone. So I didn't think it was worth effort to quit. But now I've realized that it really is an addiction. I realized just how many hours I was wasting of my life, sitting there each evening picking. As I had mentioned in my previous post, I'm using a "reward system" where I number 30 quarters and put a quarter in a jar after each day that I successfully don't pick at my hair. Once I've gotten to 30 days (about the number of days it takes to break a bad habit), I'll take the money and treat myself to something special. If I mess up even one day, I empty all the coins out and start from scratch. After 6-7 years of this stupid addiction, I've successfully gone 19 days today without picking my split ends. Here is how I've done it so far: *****hair in a pony tail at the back/top of my head 99% of the time. With my hair away from my face, it's less of a distraction and I'd really have to go out of my way to look at my split ends. I think it's really important to do this at the beginning, because when you struggle with the addiction, it's interesting to note how many times a day you might habitually reach towards your hair to start picking, but if it's in a pony tail, you have time to catch yourself and stop before you start. :) *****hair down only on special occasions, and only for a few hours at a time. When I go on a special date with my boyfriend for example, I wear my hair down. Only do this when you know you will be busy/occupied. This gives a chance for you to "test" yourself. I've been tempted to pick when my hair is down, but the thought of emptying out that entire jar after these 19 days makes me think twice. *****make a conscious effort when you see the split ends to think, "I don't *need* to pick this. It's actually ok if I leave this in my hair. Most people do! It's *normal* to have the split ends in my hair. And I'm only thinking how wonderful my upcoming haircut is going to feel to my emotions, haha! *****do this 30 days of "reward system" for multiple rounds. I realize I'm not going to completely break this addiction after only 30 days. For this first 30, I'm keeping my hair up 99% of the time like I said. I've allowed myself to touch and look, but absolutely NO PICKING. Next time around, I will probably keep my hair up 60-70% of the time. Only allow myself to look, maybe, but no touching the ends. And so on. *****believe that you **CAN** do this!! It will take effort. You will have be willing to keep an eye on yourself and catch yourself. But you will be gaining your life back!! If you ever need any support or anything, don't be afraid to say so. I check back every so often to see if there's anyone going through this, because I know this is **really** hard to break and we all could use support as we try to gain our lives back. Best wishes.
waterglass
March 20, 2013
omg i'm so happy i found this page. i have been doing this for years & i also don't know how to stop. i have a counselor for other issues but i'm afraid to really tell anyone because no one takes it seriously (they just see it as a quirk or even "cute"). i guess it used to be quirky but now i am doing it almost constantly...i get haircuts so i can start fresh but within days my hair looks fried because i have ripped all the ends off. i have little bumps around my hairline from pulling. sometimes i even take tiny scissors and will cut the ends. my hair is really choppy now and the last time i had it cut the stylist asked if i had burned it off with a straightener and also wanted to know who cut my hair that way (haha). i feel so embarrassed even typing this, but i feel better knowing other people out there are doing this. i've been searching all over the web to find this. putting my hair in a ponytail doesn't always work because many strands are too short so i pick at those, but i think i may try headbands & buns so i can't reach anything. ugh. if anyone has tips besides that, i would greatly appreciate it!
san
March 26, 2013
OMG!! I'm really excited to find this group. I've read many solutions including the quarters in the jar, the part where someone yells out loud when u do it, etc. But what bothers me so much is that I feel so bad when I do, but I cant control it. It makes me releived and its actually quiet blissful. But according to my parents and friends I look like a person who is mentally challenged. When actually I'm not. Im a senior in college and Im about to step into the corporate world. I really want to start afresh and change this one habit about me that seems to bother everyone around me. I really need help you guys! This obsession started as a child( I think about 10 or 12) and it just stayed all through high school and even college. It started out as a part-time habit( when I was studying for exams or tests) but now its just become a continuous habit. There's no way I can control my hands from finding split ends. I keep stroking my hair and I have gotten so good at it that I can tell if there's a split just by sensing the texture of the hair( I know gross right?). I have extremely frizzy hair and every strand of my hair has a split end. Some times single strand contains 3-4 splits. I tend to rip all these off!! I know its pretty gruesome. I've tried some of the solutions but I havent gotten rid of this habit yet. Do I really need to see a councillor or a therapist? Is it really a serious mental illness?? Because some of the other articles I read, said so. So pls help me out! By suggesting a solution that is simple and efficient. I really dont want to be "The-girl-obsssed-with-ripping-out-split-ends". :(
torikdavis
March 27, 2013
HI! This is the best website ive ever found so I'll tell you my story too. I naturally have thick, curly, brown hair that I used to be self conscious about. In 7th grade I was watching Mean Girls, yes the movie with Lindsay Lohan, and Regina George looked at her split ends and broke one off. I immediately tried it, and soon after I began to do it more. I would do it mostly at school, when no one was looking, and in carpeted areas where no one could see. I started with the hair underneath on the back of my head. It evolved to the spot on the back of my head where hair grew from. My mom noticed my freshman year of high school when my hair was longer on one side than the other and she had it cut super short. My hair hasnt grown back, but the habit hasnt gone away. I have tried many things such as snapping a rubber band on my wrist, but as soon as I get bored or sit in front of my computer, the picking begins. At some point I started not only breaking the split ends, but pulling the entire hair out. I tried cutting the split ends with scissors but I was cutting off much more hair than I realized. I get so jealous seeing girls with long, thick, curly hair now because mine will not grow, not that it could with me pulling it out. It's no longer caused by stress, boredom, or anxiety. Its just something that I do, and that everyone has given up on stopping. I do it at school, and there is a small pile of hair under all of my desks. I even doing it while I am driving, and sometimes I don't even realize it. I will sit in bed for hours on end picking my split ends, and then gasp at the pile of my hair on my floor and run and hide it in the trash can. I am ashamed and embarrassed and I dont know how to stop it. I recently watched the show on netflicks about people with OCD and one lady picked her hair until she was bald and had to wear wigs. I REALLY dont want that to be me.So please, I am a senior in highschool, 6 mondays away from graduation and all I want is to stop this horrible habit and grow long hair.
hair123
March 29, 2013
Wow I wish I had found this sooner! So I've always had the prettiest long blonde hair who everyone envied and the kind that was down to my lower back. I've never had short hair and for the first time I've cut my hair. ( I'm 21) I've only had trims never drastic cut! But no one knows THE REAL REASON I chopped my hair off ( its a little above my shoulders now) the real reason I had to cut it was bc I could not stop picking my split ends off! I was obsessed with doing so. it had taken over my life making me crazy! I would even get head aches bc If i wasn't searching for split ends directly I was doing so with my peripheral vision. I had been doing it since I was 14. started from boredom in class, then as my hair became longer and longer and the focal point of my appearance I would do it more and more. but lately It has gotten to the point like everyone said that their loved ones would yell and swat my hands when they saw me do it, I literally had to vacuum everyday bc there would be pieces of hair everywhere! If I had my hair in a pony tale where it was out of sight, I'd be thinking about picking but wouldn't act on it if I couldn't see them. so It was to that point where I had this beautiful thick hair that I couldn't wear down or else the WHOLE TIME I would be searching and picking for splits. So I came to the Idea of if I cut my hair short and couldn't see the split ends and there wouldn't be one on every hair bc they would be cut off then maybe, just maybe I could stop. Its been 3 days since cutting my hair and I haven't picked at all!!! I feel almost free of this addiction! I know that I was a severe case and prob could've even been medicated for it bc I'm still finding old hairs that have broken off in my carpet and when I pick them up I search for a split end on it, get almost excited when I find one and freaking pick the split end off of my dead hair that has been in the carpet for days!! So my GOAL is to rid myself of this addiction and let my hair grow out healthy and be able to enjoy my long hair again and not let it control my life and time! Thanks everyone for reading, feel free to ask me questions, your not alone, ( I would even comb through hair non stop pulling out loose hairs as well) and have stopped that now since hair is short. There is hope and you can stop
cssutter
April 05, 2013
omg I'm glad I found this site I thought I was the only one who did this. It drives my husband crazy. Especially all the hair in the carpet like you've all said. It breaks the vacuum cleaner because it gets stuck. My hair has started to look horrible. I use to have beautiful long brown hair. Now it's medium length and choppy looking. what can I do to stop?

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