nothing works

I don't know where to start in responding to you but i feel lead to....i know this is the sappy BS that you probably find typical of this site but do know that this a place you can come to where people have what you have and understand what it is like to live with this disorder.we come from all walks of life but we are all dealing with a past or present hurt that is manifesting itself in this compulsion to pick. we need each other for support because without that the road to recovery is almost impossible and yes I did say recovery because I do believe that we can get better.You've already made the first steps to getting better by coming to this site,seeking out help, sharing about yourself, and pinpointing some of the reasons that make you pick.It will be tough to get through and you will have to work everyday of your life not to relapse but that shouldn't stop you from ending your picking. When the urge to pick comes on do your best to realize it before you start, ask yourself why do you want to pick?,and then shift your focus to something postive. From what you've said you may not have the most nurturing environment so i would encourage you to keep in contact with this community to encourage you along. Oh, and a little about myself I've been pick free for about 10 days and the fourth and fifth days are the hardest. Before I could never go more than an hour and I've been picking for 11 years. I also think about my future children and it brings me to tears to think that they would develop this because of me so it's one of my reasons why i'm making every effort to stop because i would not wish this disorder on anyone,not even my enemies.i know the hurt too well to even want to bear to see someone go through this and even worse because of me. much love to you okasachan and keep in touch!

now i know what this is for. wasn't till you posted that my compassion-muscle started working again. see, it's not good enough to try to help myself, there's gotta be someone else involved. my mom tried to conceal me under make-up from the moment i got my first facial blemish. she would look at me and grow angry, slap concealer all over my face. then she'd be mad that i covered my face with my hair, or used some eye-liner or lipstick. i was just ugly in her book from start to finish and she still feels that way--but here it is: it's because she hates herself too. she was labelled "handicapped" by her mother just because she was left-handed... and she carries that pain today at 64 yrs old. my children pick their legs whenever they get a flea bite. they bleed and it's gross... but as long as i don't call attention to it, they are blissfully unaware, and no one at their elementary school says anything, especially since bugs are bad in these few years. but they see me crying over my face, and they feel helpless and useless... which means i'm passing the legacy on. it has to stop. here's the truth and the only thing that works: remember this, it's not that bad. even when your face has forgotten how to heal (which it won't) you're still you. it's worst for me when i'm stressing over just about anything... which i think goes to show that i shouldn't stress. over anything. we must find a balanced point of view of ourselves and just go with that, never letting it go. i haven't been able to do this for long enough to actually heal... but i know it can be done. i tell myself, if this is just a phase, it'll pass. if it's just my life... i'll pass too, i still have to wake up everyday and make something of this life. like the lepers in princess mononoke. they at least kept their hands busy as they fell apart. i have a song for you, brittany. not the most beautiful song in the world, but it's good. kind of like us. since i can't post a link, look up "Onion Girl" by holly cole.