My Story

I am a 30 year old single mother and full-time social work student who lives in Michigan. As a child I suffered from both anorexia and bulimia. I was hospitalized for both and continued to struggle into my mid-20's. After having my child I started suffering from chronic depression. I recall picking at my face as a child and young adult. I thought that the worst was over with because it has not happened in over a decade. I never had acne and currently do not struggle with this. What I do is pick and poke at each and every pore until they are red and irritated. I cannot stop looking in the mirror and I spend up to 2 hours every night doing this. Because I live alone with my 3 year old, I have plenty of time to myself after he goes to bed. I spend most of this time obsessing until I feel like I have nothing to live for. Lately I have missed classes and my internship to sit home and research "treatments" and products that can "cure my acne."(mind you, I do not have acne..I know this logically). My family is at a loss about how to help me, and they are starting to worry. I am currently in therapy, taking 100 mg of Zoloft and also see a naturopath every 2 weeks. I have altered my diet and do my best to lead a healthy lifestyle. Unfortunately, just when I think I'm having a "good week," I'll have a relapse. Last night being a big one. Usually these episodes happen after a stressful event or a feeling of rejection. Last night was a combination of both. I am glad that there is a group like this to offer up support. I know that in a matter of days my very light pink marks will disappear, but to me..they look enormous and prevent me from looking people in the eye.