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Ocayma , 18 Feb 2013

Insensitive Parents

So I've told my parents that I have dermatillomania. And I've explained that it's something that causes me a lot of personal grief, stress, and pain. And I don't know if they just don't understand that, think I'm over exaggerating, or don't care, because they're really insensitive. My mom likes popping pimples, but not to the point where it's an uncontrollable disorder. So she goes around to my siblings, pops their zits, and loudly makes a huge deal about it. Here I am, trying to overcome my own problem, and she's yelling "Wow, this is a huge one! It popped twice! Everyone, look at this!" It sounds almost comical, but how can my mom not know that that's not okay? Like, is she really oblivious or just doesn't care? My brother likes to watch "My Strange Obsession" on TLC, and sometimes my parents watch it with him. When they were watching the episode about the girl that picks at her scabs (AKA DERMATILLOMANIA) everyone was saying "Ewwww, that's so gross! Nasty! Oh my gosh, that girl's so weird!" And they brought it up DAYS after watching it. All the while I'm just squirming uncomfortably. Is it too much to expect them to realize that their actions would make me uncomfortable and hurt me? Is it unreasonable to think that they would get it without me having to tell them? I don't have to go to that awkward place of reminding my dad that that "gross and disgusting" girl and I have the same disorder, and that he's calling ME gross and disgusting. Do I need to spell everything out for them?
2 Answers
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Trumplet
February 19, 2013
That's how I think my parents will react. I am so sorry that your mom does that. How old are you? Retaliate and don't let her touch you. She doesn't have the right. I'm 13, and I would never let my mom even touch my forehead. Whenever she sees my scabs and tries to move my bangs to see it, I run away and don't even let her get at least 2 feet close to me. I tried talking to my friend about it and she was so mean about it. Not bully mean, but insensitive. She told me I was overreacting, and that dermatillomania is a fake disorder people made up, you don't have it, blah blah blah blah. If anyone who doesn't have dermatillomania could understand us, they wouldn't be here. They would be a therapist working with other kids who have caring parents. Or parents who know. I don't know if you should be depending on them. Yes, they are you're parents, but if that's how they're acting, go talk to someone else. Whether its a teacher, friend, guidance councilor, or even me (I understand), you need to talk to someone who can help and won't act like your parents are. I hope this helped. -Jasmine
lauren_dancer2013
February 21, 2013
I know exactly how both of you feel and im trying to sto also, the only problem is getting rid of the scars. im thirteen and have the same problem but my parents already found out. they think its easy to stop and just say "stop picking" but its not easy. so i dont think that it will work if you tell them. it will just make it awkward and even more uncomfortable for you and your family. i think that you should just ignore them and if it gets to the point where you feel uncomfortably about how they talk about it then you should not say but think of all their imperfections and remember that nobody is perfect. they have no right to blame you for what you have and i think that if you try and find a way to contact a friend that you think could help (or me if you dont feel comfortable talking to them) whenever you feel like your going to pick or your family is bothering about it. i think we should all work together and find solutions to stopping. if you need to contact me just email me and know that im here for you. contact me at: lauren_adkins_dancer@yahoo.com

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