Spring Cleaning No-Pick Challenge

Back on the wagon, no picking, Day 1.

So picked yesterday - only a little bit before I pulled myself out of it, but it still counts. So today is day 1 - gona be strong!

Well, unfortunately, I picked since I joined this challenge :( But what I am learning is that we have to be patient and kind with ourselves. Whenever I get into the despising self-talk, I seem to pick even more, or am like "what does it matter?" Yesterday, I picked but it was about an hour, which is a HUGE improvement for me, as I had recently found myself 'tranced out' for five to seven hours, sometimes most of the day (back and forth). Today I was able to limit it to 40 minutes, and no Intense squeezing. I have five scabs from picking and squeezing the days before. I decided to put Neosporin on them and cover them with band-aids. They are finally healing. For me, I realize that I have to FORGIVE Myself almost immediately after the picking happens. That way, unconsciously, I am not adding 'I need to punish myself' and go right to picking and squeezing so hard. I still hate what I have done to myself but I must forgive myself and comfort myself. I WISH that I have a couple days of NO picking and my goal is to work through the anxieties that cause me to pick. One thing I know is that I haven't been completely willing because for some reason, I believe I Must make my face clear and/or the belief that if I don't get the little clogged pores (that no one sees but me), that they will turn into cysts (because they have in the past and sometimes now). I need to put my 15X Magnification mirror away! Thank you all for sharing your strengths and weaknesses. You all have been giving me the courage and hope to get through this.

2 day no picking!

So it's the second week of June and I've been able to keep the picking down to just one or two minutes a day. All on my arm, where the KP "pimples" are. It's just so hard to look at them and leave them be. I love how it feels to pop them. To hear the sound and see the white stuff ooze out. It makes me feel like I'm "fixing" them. But this is the lie that the disease tells us. Because it CREATES a problem instead of fixing a problem. It's just so hard to sit tight. To just be patient and wait for my alpha-hydroxy body wash to exfoliate the area slowly. So I realize I have to cover up that part of my arm, both when I'm working and when I'm in the bathroom mirror. It's the SEEing the spots that gets me. And keeping my nails short. And BREATHing instead of getting all tense and feeling compelling to "just pick one or two spots super quick". How's everybody else doing?