Does anybody else have it really bad? I mean REALLY bad?

I have hundreds of scars littering my body and face, and constant little red marks and scabs varying in size from a pinpoint to a quarter. I have been doing this shit for the last 7-8 years and have turned a beautiful body into pure embarassment. I don't hang out with my friends anymore and I hide myself from my family. I have lost the ability to form meaningful relationships because of it, and am putting myself on a path of isolation and depression. All I want to do is let my skin heal, but I can't manage to do the easiest possible thing in the world - nothing. Now I'm a mid twenties guy who people probably think is a crazy meth head, and I just feel like destroying myself even further. I had a great life and body, was good looking and confident as well as friendly and outgoing, and just a few years later I am secluding myself, hidden behind an embarassing sheen of violent self-indulgence. I'm thinking about uploading some pics to hear some outside thoughts, but honestly don't think I can bring myself to face the embarassment. The depression is mounting and the hope is dwindling. Part of me believes I can rebound, but a bigger part of me does not. It's so hard to think to myself "I just wish I was the person I was 5 years ago." I want to be back out at the beach, in the pool, playing basketball in short sleeves, even just being okay wearing short sleeve t-shirts would be nice. You know how hard it is to justify wearing long sleeve t-shirts when it's 80 degrees outside? I want to be done with it. I crave the sunlight, but am too embarassed to go out and get it. I dream of being isolated on an island for a couple years where I can just let my skin recover and come back to living a normal life, making friends and seeking love. That brings me to another point - Women. A couple things... First, this forum and this mental sickness seems to be heavily dominated by women. I've lurked here ever since finding out about CSP, and have noticed it is like 90% women. That makes it even more embarassing for me. Second, women are the single most amazing thing in this life, and above everything else that CSP has destroyed for me, the drive and ability to meet women and form new relationships is completely gone. I was once extremely confident, funny, and happily willing to embarass myself it meant making a girl laugh. Now I'm just too embarassed to even open a conversation, or to bother continuing one. The thought of taking my clothes off around a girl now makes me quiver, and that it is such a depressing thought, because women are incredible and I was hoping to meet the right girl and build a family one day. Now it seems like I've dug myself an impossible hole to climb out of. I don't know where I'm going with this. I feel like I could write forever just because it is keeping my hands busy while I watch tv. I guess I was just wondering if anyone else out there has it really bad, because this shit is depressing and I don't get to talk with people about it, ever. My family doesn't really know how bad it is, and I've been driving my friends away by ignoring them because I'm too embarassed to go out and hang out with them.