first post. last pick. please read

i am a 19 year old female who has let skin picking control and ruin her life for the past two years. i started to get a few large nodule pimples on my face when i was 17. nothing major. just the occassional blind pimple or two. it never really bothered me. im not sure when i started to care about my breakouts, but it was around the time i got a boyfriend and i began to dread going without makeup in front of him. it got to the point where i hated the bumps so much that i would squeeze, pick and scrape them off my face, leaving behind tender wounds that would scab over and take weeks to heal. at first i would pick at these scabs too. it stopped me from going to school. work. socialising. even being around my family was too embarrassing. for the past two years i have spent the majority of time in my bedroom. i never realised my problem until very very recently, as i stumbled onto this website and read through the forum and i aligned so many similarities with other peoples' stories. i know how awful it is, to not be able to pass a mirror and look for something to pick at. often i have found myself staring in a mirror for long periods of time, before stopping and asking myself 'what are you looking for? leave your skin alone' after a pick, i would be so angry with myself. i started to just desperately want to be able to do the simplest of things, go swimming in summer without having to wear makeup, wake up in the morning and not be scared and anxious to see my reflection, not have to worry about what people see of my skin and having to avoid eye contact.. i am about to call my dermatologist and talk about getting off the antibiotics i am on (i have tried erythromycin, minomycin, clindamycin, roaccutance, etc over the course of two years) and give my body a break from drugs. i am going to try topical creams to keep those occasional breakouts away, and i will no longer let my whole life be determined by the state of my skin. today marks a new beginning for me. i realise i am not the only one suffering because of my picking, but the people in my life are too. picking only makes whatever imperfections worse in every aspect. i am done letting this control my life, what i do and feel every day. im vowing to leave my skin alone. and i know i can do it :) i am actually so excited to be back to normal old happy self! this summer i am going to be able to wake up, embrace each day feeling happy and confident and go out into the world looking beautiful and not having to wear makeup! i have realised how blessed i am, i have the most amazing family, wonderful group of friends and the same boyfriend who has witnessed the damage i have done to my skin over the last two years and can look at my after my worst pick and say 'darlin you're gorgeous'. i would be an idiot to keep doing this when it interferes with my ability to be with the special people in my life! ive missed out on enough. i have had enough. i am learning to love myself again. :) i guess i am writing this post to give you guys hope that things can and will get better. because they already have for me. mind over matter :) so, dermatillomania, i am taking my life back. goodbye and good riddance!