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byebyebirdie , 29 Jan 2009

OCD and skin picking

I'm new here, but I think I've always known about skin picking, as well as OCD. I've sort of always picked at my skin, but mostly if I had a pimple or something (I've always had acne and still do), and I've sort of always been obsessive compulsive. The OCD "exploded" almost 4 years ago and I spent 3 years getting worse everyday and in absolute misery (at one point I barely left my bedroom for 1 1/2 years I was so scared of contamination) before I gave up trying to help myself and went on medication in April 2008 (Luvox CR). Some of the side effects are horrible, but I am finally starting to get a life back, so I deal with them. I say "a life" because it doesn't really feel like mine! I am definitely not the same. But one of the completely unexpected side effects of the Luvox is now I compulsively pick my skin (only on my face, neck, back and fingers), whereas before I would only do it occasionally, go figure. I remember going to the dermatologist last June and he was horrified at what I've done to my face, but I was too embarrassed to explain the whole OCD thing. I've had sores on my neck that still haven't healed since then, the worst is a huge area of scabby skin on my nose that hasn't healed since September b/c I can't leave it alone. But I am so sick of this, trying to cover it up with makeup, but obviously everyone notices. I have to make sure my shirts cover my shoulders and back, it looks scary. I'm 29 years old, and a pretty girl, but I always feel like I look like crap because of my ugly skin. Sitting here at the computer I want to pick SO BAD, but so far whenever I start I've stopped myself. I try to remind myself of how good I feel about myself when I look better, and how depressing it is when I manage to leave myself alone for a day or two and then have to start healing all over because I picked. I know it gets worse when I'm stressed, worried or not busy enough- constant activity does help, but how long can a person run on fast forward, ha ha. I'm thinking about getting some silly putty or something to have in my free hand at all times. Sometimes I sit on my hands. Anyway, just thought I'd post this in case anyone else is in a similar situation with OCD, or medication for OCD. Talk about hell! But nobody ever said life would be fair...
11 Answers
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Dawn
January 29, 2009
The will power is so hard. It trully does take a lot of strenght to relize what your doing and be able to remove your hands from your mouth. I never know that this was skin picking, had no clue it was considered a OCD, and suprized to see a "formal" name for it, and shocked to find such a group with the same issues as me. As much as im comfortable with be here amung other like me, i think im still going through the acceptance of what i have. To find that this horrid habbit actually had a name was kinda hard to swallow. But today is a new day......and im excepting what i have. Isn't that the first step?. I would have never thought about the silly putty thing. I'll have to get me some next time i head to family dollar. THANKS for the suggestion. I read somewhere to put loation on any time your hands start feeling dry. I've been doing that and it seems to be helping a bit. My husband aslo mention that at some office stores, they sell these things tha you can squezze and work. He's sappose to pick me up one soon. So we'll see how that goes. Otherwise, welcome to the group and hope you can start a healing process and find comfort and help.
byebyebirdie
February 01, 2009
Yeah, those stress reliever things could help, too. I guess I thought of the silly putty because it could really keep my hands busy, plus I can stick my fingernails in it!
byebyebirdie
February 02, 2009
Yes it does! I think I'll have to get some very soon...I cut my nails down to pretty much nothing yesterday, seems to help slightly. How are you doing today Dawn?
Dawn
February 02, 2009
Ha, i bite my nails too. So their always short and that doesn't at all help me cause then i can get to the skin better. At one point i use to get my nails done, and that helped beyond belief. But with money not being what it use to, it is too expencive. Im doing good. Ive been doing really good holding back and having enough will power not to tear my fingers up. When they are dry.....they are starting to look good. But then when i do dishes or jump out of the shower, they damage showes up even more and gets me discourged and makes me start thinking that im not doing as good as a i thought. So, i try to ignore them for a while and dose them up on lotion and after a bit they look okay again, and can see the improvements. For trying to make such a huge commitment to something unbelievably adictive, i think im doing well. How are you doing?
byebyebirdie
February 03, 2009
It sounds like you are doing well, keep it up! I hate getting discouraged when I think stuff like that, too. But you know you're doing better, so remember that. I'm doing okay, got a little stressed last night over a misunderstanding with a friend and unknowingly picked at my face while on the phone, but not too bad. i just need to be more aware of where my fingers are! I really need to get that silly putty today! Other than that, I'm good! Have a good day! :)
Dawn
February 03, 2009
That's hard. And i think that's the worst, having missunderstandings or dissagreements with slight yelling.If me and Hubby get into and we start going back and fourth, i get upset and start picking. I got my putty today! So we'll see how it goes. I haven't needed to use it yet. But im banking on that next vocal dissagreement, it will be a relieve to grab that and tear the crap out of it and dig my nails into it. I had to buy two, can't buy myself one without buying my son one....LOL. I've been getting throw the past few days on just will power and hand lotion. It's going really well. It's comforting to know that the putty is there though. So if i get into mood where i start feeling like i need to pick, i can take the putty out and go at it. Otherwise, im trying VERY hard. I never would have made it as far as i have. I think i get all my will power off from this group. HOPE you can get your putty today! have a good day!
byebyebirdie
February 04, 2009
That's awesome! I love it that I gave someone an idea! I used to love that stuff when I was a kid because it would bounce off walls and stuff. A friend and I bounced some silly putty so hard one time that we never found it! I think it went into the ceiling light and melted, ha ha! Yeah, I was pretty upset that day, but it's all straightened out and I pretty much left my face alone yesterday, so I'm doing good. I'm pretty excited to think that after like 5 months my nose might actually heal, it's such a pain. But man is it hard to leave it alone!!! I just have to keep thinking about the end result... And I didn't get the putty yesterday, but I'm hoping I'll get by the store on the way home today. You have a good day too, thanks! :)
tekaellis31
February 02, 2009
I thought I was the only person in the world that did that. I never thought of that as a disease, it's an addiction an I've been doing it for forty five years! I'm 54 now... If I go to a manicurist every week i won't pick, but who has money for that? Ohhh I am soooooo glad I found you guys. I need help! Cheers
byebyebirdie
February 02, 2009
Cheers to you too! I told myself that starting in Feb. (aka yesterday) I can't pick anymore. It is somewhat working, at least I haven't touched the really messed up nose area in 2 days. Yeah, I don't have the money for that either, I haven't had any work in 2 weeks! Hey, that's it! If someone pays me not to, I won't pick, ha ha.
matchbox83
January 02, 2011
I’m new to the site too, and I’m glad to hear that I’m not alone in this personally horrid habit. I’m a 27-year-old professional women and I’ve been a picker/eater (nose, acne, nails, cuticles, skin around nails, and scabs) for as long as I can remember. My parents just assumed I grew out of it, but in reality I just got better at hiding it. I developed an eating disorder in college, but was able to get the disorder under control for the most part. I say for the most part because at about the same time that I stopped purging I developed what was then diagnosed as sever anxiety. I suffered and dealt with this paralyzing disease for about four years on my own. My parents tried to help, but since they had never experienced panic attacks they didn’t understand that I couldn’t control them. When I graduated college I moved home and took a position I had been dreaming about. Everything was fine for the first six months, but when my senior co-worker transferred the panic attacks returned with a vengeance. Throughout all of this the one thing that remained constant was the “comfort” I received from picking and eating. About a year and a half ago I finally went to see a physiatrist about my panic attacks. He diagnosed me with not anxiety, but a mild form of OCD, which he called OCP or obsessive compulsive personality. I was placed on a medium dosage of a OCD med called Lexapro and the anxietysymptoms were turned off like a light switch. The one thing my doctor and I never talked about was the picking. I never felt the need to mention it because I didn’t feel it was related. After reading the information of this site I now realize it is something I need to bring up at my next appointment. The picking at the skin around nails and acne is a horrid, disgusting habit that I do all the time. I really can’t seem to help myself, but I have realized that it is becoming more intense to the point where I am now cutting the skin around nails away and picking at my acne until it bruises.

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