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Lily19 , 15 Dec 2013

the night after picking

I haven't been on this website for almost a year now. I thought I could beat this but I always come back. Why is this? God, I'm so scarred. I forget I have to live with this face for the rest of my life. I lost my motivation for finding a cure. Please help me get it back.
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spottyface1
December 15, 2013
Hi Lily19, I understand how you are feeling, I really do. I have been coming to this site for about 2 years now. I don't know if I can give you motivation, because I've lost mine as well, but maybe we can find it again by helping each other. I have no words to describe what this disorder has done to me and how it has destroyed my life in so many ways. It has caused serious problems in my marriage, work, and other areas. It got really bad when I got several staph infections in a row, which I needed several rounds of antibiotics to cure. I never really had acne before all of the infections, I would just pick at any spot. After all of the antibiotics, I guess because my immune system was so messed up, I started getting really bad cystic acne..which of course made me pick my face and create numerous more sores. I am trying to get it under control with vitamins and probiotics, but my face is currently covered in red scabs and calamine lotion. I look like a monster and I feel so ashamed and worthless. Please know that you are not alone, you have people who do understand. I know that we can get through this, I'm here to listen for support. Sincerely, fab-to-scab (username used to be spottyface)
Perfectlyimper…
December 19, 2013
I'm right here with you, I'm new to this site, hoping that this will help me with dealing with this compulsion and finally stop. I unfortunately pick at my eyebrows and dig for the short dark hairs that might take a few more days to come up. I've been having Electrology done for almost a year and my eyebrows are almost perfect with permanent results of all the hairs that grow between gone never to be heard of or seem again... but yet when I hang out with that magnifying mirror I find the ones that are still creeping around.... I hate it and when I'm in the process of digging and probing and finally get that son of bleep I feel release... As in thank you Lord I got it. I can breathe again. But then immediate disgust sets in... Why why would I do that in a matter of days that hair would have come up and now it's gonna take a week or more for your skin to heal.... And no one saw the hair before but now everyone will see that big gaping hole you dug... Ugh I'm so sick of myself but what it comes down to is control my need to be in control. I want to be in control of every hair and get it when and where I want it. And if it proves stubborn ... Oh I'll show it and get it if it kills me ...

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