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jojo , 02 May 2014

Out of control

Hi, I am a complete mess, top to bottom. im constantly in pain because I pick everywhere I can reach. I am so embarrassed about how I look but its not enough to stop me doing it, the more I destroy my skin the more I pick. Im losing hours every day standing in front of the mirror until my arms and hands are killing me from picking that hard. although I dig as deep as possible until the hole is huge and there is blood everywhere, I don't feel any pain really until ive stopped. I am getting to the point where I am thinking I am crazy and even ending it because I feel weak as a person and my daughter has also started picking now. I have been on anti depressants since the age of 15 due to a crap childhood and my doctor has literally washed her hands off me because there is nothing else she can do for me now. I am a disgrace and will do anything to avoid everyone I know but I do work and when I have to go, I pile the make up on which makes it look worse most of the time. Im lost!!!! 8-(
5 Answers
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Ouch
May 02, 2014
You are not the only person out there doing this and you are not weak. You probably are very strong from having endured a lot. Don't give up, keep on looking for help. This is not a cure all bit I found an iPhone app called iscab. It actually has been getting me to play this silly game where you pick scabs and it keeps my fingers busy.
jojo
May 02, 2014
Thanks, I will have a look at that but urge to pick is very strong and when I'm on my phone I also end up pickin without even known it until I feel blood. Sounds ridiculous doesn't it but thanks again ;-)
scalped0414
May 05, 2014
If you're thinking about ending it please call the suicide prevention hotline, 1-800-273-8255 (in the us). You can also talk to someone online and these people won't "wash their hands of you" like your doctor. Your daughter loves you and needs you and having a parent who picks is a thousand times better than no parent at all. I don't need a mirror to pick, so I do it all. day. long. I would be suprised if I went five straight minutes without reaching up to pick. I also "dig" when I pick, until there is blood. My fingers want to pick and dig so that the skin underneath is "smooth" and even, all one plane (the better, rational, part of me knows this is crazy) -- but of course this means that new skin gets scraped off and the wounds get bigger and deeper. I'm just getting started on really trying to stop this, so the only encouraging thing I have to say it - you are not alone.
jojo
May 06, 2014
Hi, I live in the UK but thanks for the phone number, I understand what you mean by trying to smooth everything out, that's my intentions to, once I actually scrapped my skin pushing from say my nose outwards, it took me hours and I thought (in my head obviously) that I had managed to do it, my face looked so even and I was so happy, the consequences of this where unbearable, even though at the time it didn't hurt one bit because I was so happy with the results but in the morning when I woke up my face was twice the size and purple from bruising. I've never felt pain like it. What can make a person go to these extremes is beyond me. I had to take 5 weeks off work to recover, extremely embarrassing.
emotionally recked
August 30, 2017

hey jojo its me. been years but curious how you've been, if you still pick and hows life. hopefully you check here . if you do let me know

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