55 and life-long problem

On May 4th, 2014 Annina said: Even as I write this I am picking, and I swear to myself every time I get one pick down and one piece of finger flesh in my mouth, I will stop. I always think, this could be the last one. I am not stopping though, and obviously, totally, really, really wish I could. I am 55. I have been picking my fingers since I was about 6-8 years old, I think--I just remember doing it most of my life. I pick the skin around my nails. I do not generally chew my nails, and they in fact, usually look kind of long and nice. But NOT my thumbs. My thumbnails are bumpy, discolored, peeling and both thumbs have huge "humps" in them which I do my best to hide from people. That is particularly hard to do at work when I am holding a document to show to a colleague or reading a book to a kid--I have become adept at pointing at text with my pinkies since they are usually not as desecrated and I also curl my thumbs in so no one sees them. I am embarrassed, distracted, definitely not as efficient as I could be at work or home since so much time goes to staring at and shredding my fingers. I also bleed, a lot, I go through boxes of band-aids, and about once a year I get a serious infected finger and have to embarrassingly go to doc for strong antibiotics. I am a lier, sometimes, frequently....because I tell the doc the wound came from a paper cut, the kids I work with I have "skin problems" and infections, any adults that might (God forbid) happen to notice that I have very "dry skin" that cracks and peels.... I always feel like I want to make my skin smooth, to get rid of the ridges, skin 'cliffs' and flaky prickly skin...."If I just make it smooth I will be done....." I DID quit for five years. I don't know how I did it but I did, through sheer will. Now I think the habit has always been lurking, and it pounced again about two years ago. Finally, my teeth have been hurting lately, the front teeth, from so many years of grinding on the flesh between my front teeth. I sound like a monster but am not. I would love to have a permanent, lasting complete cure. I feel shattered and fractured, not at peace, not centered at all. It impacts my self-esteem, it controls my life. I don't want to see or talk to people due to the shame I feel for what I do, with a hidden bleeding finger to remind me. Or a skin tag I cannot wait to get into my office and chew on. Argh. I want to try hypnosis. Anybody...success with that? Look forward to hearing what you have to say. Have read a lot of blogs here, this is the first time I have posted on a blog. Maybe this full disclosure of my real-life, all-consuming problem can help?? ( - : ) - :