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cats3452 , 04 Jun 2014

Ashamed

I get cuts and scratches quite often working with animals. I think nothing of them at the time, but to quickly clean the wound. When i am alone i find the need to pick my scabs clean with my nails or other objects. Behind closed doors is where i find comfort. I must be alone to do this disgusting ritual. I dont stop until every scab is picked. I also eat them. My anxiety medicine does not stop me from this. I am so ashamed i cannot describe the physical and psychological pain and guilt. My co workers all ask me what the scars and scabs are from. I brush them off. My boss tells me i must wear long sleeves because my arms are unacceptable to look like that. My parents ridicule me that i have these awful permanent scars and scabs. I am so tired of the shame and ugliness of this disease.
4 Answers
heikkilae
June 04, 2014
I hear your pain and embarrassment. I have been picking for most my life and am full of "battle" scars. Over the years I have accumulated many ways to place a barrier between myself and my skin and reduce redness/scarring. I have found 3M micropore tape to be good as you can stick a piece on the offending area and leave it for days, through showers. It breathes somewhat and does not itch, although it can look a bit odd...I wear long sleeves until I am back under control. Tegaderm bandages work in the same manner, but they're clear and don't breathe well. Another tool I recently discovered was using zinc oxide (found in certain sunblocks and baby diaper rash creams). The zinc dramatically reduces redness and healing time. Hang in there and try not to worry about your others' poor etiquette, it only makes things worse...besides they have no clue what you are going though.
cats3452
July 02, 2014

In reply to by heikkilae

Thank you very much! These words mean more than you know. I am glad i am not alone in this. Sometimes i feel like i am because people i know do have the scars that i do. My family and friends dont know what i am struggling with i feel to ashamed to tell them. The tape idea is genius!
Personofinterest
June 20, 2014
Newsperspective Thank you so much!! I tend to do dumb things usually it's around my period and then I pick at my face real bad where layers of skin come off it looks so bad Im ashamed of myself and my face it looks like shit I don't even want anybody to see me because I feel ugly. My man gets pissed off and says mean things. So at work I ran across what you wrote and thought to my self really I have to try this. So far so good I will know more tomorrow but for four hours today It has made it look way better!! I can't wait to see my face after one night thank you so much I wish I could give you a hug!! Your the best!!!

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