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Nectarine , 30 Jun 2009

Another Newbie

Hi, I'm Nectarine. I've been dealing with dermatillomania since I was about 12, and now in my 20s I'd really like to find help. Only recently did I think that maybe it was a compulsive disorder, but I have always picked at my face, for almost 10 years, usually in the bathroom in front of the mirror. I am not sure about triggers yet, but sometimes it feels like just a random urge, not necessarily brought on by intense boredom or stress. I usually don't even realize what I am doing until I am 15 minutes into it, and by then I convince myself that I have already messed up so there is no point in stopping. I have tried so long to stop myself, but I feel I don't have the willpower alone. I am certain I would not even have blemishes or acne if I could just stop. At this point it is just such a long-formed habit that I am actually causing my own acne from such tiny imperfections that they are borderline imaginary. I don't really have terrible scarring, but there is definitely some visible damage from the trauma I have caused myself. I hope by coming here that I can learn some ways to control my compulsion. Thanks ahead of time, I look forward to meeting you.
8 Answers
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misslinz10
July 01, 2009
I am with you 100%. If only I could stop for a week... maybe then my "acne" would have time to heal. Sounds like we have the same case.
Belle123
July 30, 2009
I really can't believe there are others like me....I thought I was alone, the only one! I have had this disgusting habit since I was about 12 and now I am 30. Reading about it really makes it sound more disgusting though don't you think? I am finding it hard to actually talk about what I do but it is all similar to what has been mentioned, mostly head scabs and spots, even my partner spots and scabs which is repulsive! Why??? I don't understand it but I don't want to stop, I can't imagine not doing it. The only reason I would ever want to stop is because I find myself doing it in public....what must they think? And I'm certain my family know about it but have never said anything, maybe because it is too freakish to even mention! I also worry what my hairdresser thinks as the more I pick, the more scabs I have and I pick them continously till they bleed and bleed so they scab up and I can pick it again. I convinced myself its just animal instinct, just like grooming yourself, but if thats the case why doesn't everyone do it? I have never seen other people do it, well not to this extent. Was it Caroline who first started this topic? You are so brave coming clean not knowing if were other like us.
tonysbricksmoocher14
August 05, 2009
I'm in my late 20s and constantly pick my cuticles to the point of infection and bleeding. I just found this site today too. I pick mine out of stress and boredom. I know it's sick but I don't realize how bad it is until I actually make my fingers bleed. My fingers are always red and swollen from picking. I can't remember when I started but it's been a long time ago. I've tried Burt's Bees and even cuticle creams and lotions but they don't work so I understand your frustration and I too don't know where mine stems from either. I'm a newbie too and don't know where to turn to except for here because I'm afraid to go to the doctor and be put on some type of prescription anti-depressant. I've never been on any medication in my life.
mshbuck
August 09, 2009
Hello - it's so interesting that many of us are in our late 20's. I can really relate to your struggle and frustrations. I've been posting all over the site about the skin pickers phone meetings. But man, they have been life changing for me. Call in if you want more support. Hang in there, you are not alone. In addition to picking my scalp, body and face, I'm also a cuticle picker and have had so many infections.
tonysbricksmoocher14
August 10, 2009
Thanks so much for the information and encouragement. It really helps a lot, especially to know there are so many more of us out there. It's funny because I talk to other people who don't have this problem (i.e. my parents) and they don't think it's a problem, but a bad habit. and that I just need to "move on and get over it" but it's not that easy. I've been doing this for years and it's a neverending problem.

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