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Lip Picking

ar6473 , 01 Oct 2009

severe lip picking

I have been picking my lips my entire life( as long as I an remember) and I'm a 20 year old female. Sometimes I can go a day without doing it, but usually I cant. I do it probably over 100 times a day without even noticing. I dont even realize my hand is up at my lips when it's happening until a few minutes later. My bf gets really upset with me about it and wants me to stop. he doesnt understand that it is so incredibly hard for me to control. Every time he sees me doing it he yells at me. He thinks its going to help and make me stop. It just makes me do it even more when hes not around. I feel like I HAVE to do it, and I can't imagine ever stopping. I can remember so many times when I have sat down and decided I wasn't going to do it anymore. Then about three hours later I catch myself doing it. When i do catch myself, i make myself stop but I start getting extremely anxious and my head starts to hurt if I can't let myself do it. It almost relieves the physical pain I feel when I cant do it. When my bf slaps my hand away, the urge do it becomes so much worse. I feel like im going to go crazy if i cant. I have literally no idea what to do. I am so tried of my bf getting upset with me over it. He gets really mad everytime I do it, and he doesn't understand that I'm not able to control it. He says i need to replace it with something else. But nothing can replace that. I cannot imagine ever getting over this, but I would give everything I have to never do it again.
166 Answers
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mamaduft
November 09, 2012
AS many here have already said, I had no ideas there was a name for this compulsion that I hate so much! Sorry but I've been at it 40 yrs or more! I tell people it's a nervous habit! My hubbie or daughter have literally had to hold my hand thru church services because they can't stand my pulling the skin off my cuticles until they bleed, and I go through boxes of bandaids. They begin to heal and I reinjure before they get a chance. Then there's picking the callouses off my heels until there is nothing but raw skin and I can barely walk on them! Or biting the skin off my lips until they bleed. I, too, feel so helpless to this compulsion, and there's not denying that I need some help. It's like I cannot stand any loose skin, cracks, or unexplained bumps on my skin. Is it perfectionistic tendencies and lack of ability to let things be? Do I attack blemishes before they even have a chance to come to a head in the same way I attack problems and try to fix them before the involved parties are ready? This cannot be self willed away--believe me, I have tried! I even get angry at those who try to prevent me from doing it. How can something so vicious be calming and soothing, and be so embarassing and painful, yet so uncontrollable? Oh, yeah, that's what makes it a compulsion! The artificial nails do work, but are they really solving the problem or just preventing the symptoms?
Zenimpre
December 23, 2012
Ive been lip picking for at least 2 years and its horrible, Ive tried stopping but usually cant go more than a day without doing too and i just realized im doing it now whilst typing . My friends usually tell me to stop but i just wait til they're not looking and continue doing it , My lips are always chapped dry and peeling because i never give them the chance to recover but im glad im not the only one that does it. Also if i ever get itchy bites i always have the urge to pick them and have to resort in covering them with band aids just to stop myself.
tantan
January 02, 2013
I'm right there with you guys. My mom was and still is a lip picker. I guess that's where I got it from. I started very little, around 5 or 6 yrs old. Mine became way more severe than hers was though. I pick my lips outside and chew them inside. Sometimes I get sores from this. I've gotten so good at this crap that you can't even tell by looking at my lips. There is no evidence. But you can catch my fingers by my mouth all day long. My parents and my husband yell at me when they see me doing it but that does little to stop me. Anyone have suggestions that you have found to work for stopping this habit? Even now, I'm chewing away and I'm grossing myself out over here. Help anyone?
DeathByMusic
January 02, 2013
Oh my gosh! I thought I was the only one who did this! For as long as I can remember, I've been picking my lips. I pick them until they bleed. It pisses off my bf because he doesn't want me to scar my lips, I'm not sure if that's even possible, maybe he's just saying it to get me to stop, but I barely notice when I do it. Like, I know I'm doing it and I know I shouldn't, but then it's like I don't notice or don't care. It sort of annoys me when I wind up with red spots where they were bleeding, it looks bad but doesn't leave any scars or anything, so I don't really mind. No one at work says anything about it, no one besides him tells me to stop. But being yelled at to stop doesn't exactly help. So I don't know what else to do. I bought this stuff to help me numb and moisturize my lips, because it's the way they feel that bothers me the most. They feel like they are peeling anyway, so I think "I'll just peel off the dying skin". But it turns out, they aren't peeling at all. I don't know why they feel like they are, and it really bothers me.
Runaway_1
January 13, 2013
I've been picking my lips since I was a small child, I noticed my sister doing it and so I started, i didn't realise it was a problem till I began comprehensive school it got worse then. I'm going to try and stop again, Thank you all, I am so glad to know I am not alone here and I'll keep you all updated.
Flobsy
January 09, 2013
I have been picking way at my lips for as long as I can remember. I pick and pick until my fingers are covered in blood and my eyes are watering, and even then I keep picking. Sometimes when I'm out I bite my lip and realise I'm making a weird face so I have to stop. And the problem is, I know what I'm doing to myself, and I just can't stop. I saw a comment about fake fingernails working but I'm only 15 so I don't think I should be wearing fake nails. If someone thinks of a good way to stop please let me know!
K_Redd
January 30, 2013
Fake finger nails will definately stop the picking but not the biting and 15 is totally a normal age for fake nails. The reason it works is cause you can't grab any skin. So picking solved but biting....I have no answer for that. Buf I will tell you when you wont be able to pick due to the nails. You will actually get angry you can't pick...or at least I do.
liptick
February 19, 2013
When my lips bleed, I put paper towels or tissue paper on them. I originally did it to stop the bleeding fast and keep my parents from asking about it. Even after it's stopped bleeding, I sometimes keep it there, just so that I'll stop picking or biting it. I also put chapstick on because my lips become more slippery and it's harder to pick... however when my lips dry, the flaky parts become pronounced. I don't know what to do. :/ I was surprised when I went to school and someone had lips like mine. I said I bit my lips and she told me she picked hers! I was so shocked that someone else did too and told her I picked mine as well! I really need to get out of this habit. One time, I was so frustrated that one part of my lip wouldn't come off and just kept bleeding. My lips just got slippery so I took a nail clipper to my lip and cut it. There was still a flab left though... so I kept picking. Sometimes I think of taking tweezers to my lips and pulling at it when my nails are cut short. I have so many habits already, you'd think one of those would distract me from picking, but it doesn't. My lips are so uneven I feel bumps when my fingers go over them. Sometimes I leave ugly gashes or bleed a lot. A lot. One time I bled so much, I started getting drops of blood on my homework. I was so embarrassed that I scratched it out with pen. I'm seventeen now, and I worry that when I go to college, my problems will get even worse because of the new environment and fear. I'm a really outwardly confident person, so people don't expect me to have problems... but I can't stop my habits. When I used to wear make-up, I'd put on lip gloss or lipstick to cover up the gashes. Sometimes I'd lick my lips to smooth them out and stop myself from picking them, but they'd just dry up even more. I used to think my lip picking was seasonal, but now it's a lot more often. I really hope we can all get over this habit. Let's try our best!
Amdeniz2010
January 14, 2013
I too began my picking with biting deep holes in my lips.... One night I was watching a movie and I bit so deep I hit an artery in my bottom lip.... I began to hemorrhage blood at such an increased speed it was shooting straight out from my lip... I was rushed to the ER where they but 6 stitches deep in my lip.... I have a small bump in that place now.... That throbs occasionally.... After going trough this, is when my habit of stabbing and picking my gums began...... :0( I feel like a freak! I know I need help......
ar6473
January 14, 2013
Wow. I posted this years ago and forgot about it. Just now as i was trying to fall asleep i began to pick. I picked up my phone and googled lip picking...something i hadn't googled or searched in awhile. The second google search that came up were words that i recognized. I clicked on it and realized these were my words...from years ago. And that people were still posting & commenting! I couldn't believe it. I still suffer from picking unfortunately. However seeing that my post has made others feel not so alone has inspired me. In what way I'm not sure...but it has. Maybe i will stop picking today; right now. Maybe i will tomorrow or in five years, i don't know. I was just shocked to see my words come up on a google search. I felt not so alone anymore, and sometimes thats all we need.
K_Redd
January 30, 2013
I also pick my lips and I can't remember not doing it. Im 18 now. And I don't know if this qualifies me for grossness but I eat the skin I peel off. My lips have never healed but for one time and it happened in one day I used some type of chapstick constantly and even that night I picked again. I don't know if I will everstop picking. I don't really want to stop picking. I like it. It makes me feel good without notice I just know I hate not doing it. Its so painful i will pick until it bleeds. Give it a second and pick again...then minutes later look down and I have blood on my fingers. I don't know if I will ever stop bugoy husband says its ugly and makes my lips ugly. He just doesn't understand I NEED to do it. I sit all day and pick my lips even when I think I've done good by not picking them... I haven't, its just me not noticing the picking. I don't plan to ever stop if it makes me feel better than I guess its worth it. That's probably a bad way to think but it how my brain works. Just wanted to tell my story... thanks!
gretty74
February 05, 2013
OMG, After countless years of picking at my lips/hangnails this is the first time I've thought to look up any possible cause. I'm actually in tears now because I thought I was the only one with this habit. I've always felt like a freak because I'm the only one in my family who does it. I know for me it's mostly stress. I seem to do it most often when something is bugging me. It's kind of ironic because seeing the damage only makes me feel worse about myself. I can't even remember how it began. All I know is it sucks and I wish I could fathom a way to stop
Iwant2Stop
March 18, 2013
I cried too. The first time I googled this habit and this is the first thing I clicked on. I'm 28 and don't even know how young I was when I started. I've been doing this all of my life. I don't do it at any specific time. I do it when i'm nervous, relaxed and I do it when I'm aware I'm doing it and I do it when I'm NOT aware I'm doing it- it's the blood that tells me I've been doing it for a while and perhaps you're like me in that I have to peel of the entire layer of skin and when I can't seem to peel off a piece I become so anxious that I peel deeper and it hurts but re-leaving at the same time. L-rd help us. Please.
cat123
February 11, 2013
Hey all, I had this condition as well but am doing great now. Here are some things that might help you: 1) Put a physical barrier between your nail and your face (either wear gloves, or put band-aids over the nails on your main picking fingers). I was using band-aids for a while, till I realized I could use fake (acrylic) nails--both worked wonders for me. 2) Find something you can use to distract your fingers so you don't pick consciously or sub-consciously. e.g. knitting, (or if you are studying, hold a smooth pebble or a coin in your hands) 3) Go to http://www.trich.org/ It is a site for those who pick skin or pull hair. They have some great resources. Go to "treatment and resources" tab--> "TLC store" tab--> you will find videos as well as "fidgets and fiddles" that help to channel anxiety/stress/compulsive behavior into something other than lip picking. 4) Recognize that the urge to pick will not always be the same intensity over time. The first 7 days of quitting are very hard (because you are scabbing up and you have to let that happen rather than pull it off). However, once the scabs fall off on their own and you have legit smooth lips, I found that the urge to pick them decreases because there is less skin sticking out to tempt you. 5) Try to find out if there is a place/time where you are most tempted to pick so you can combat it there. While I was picking a lot throughout the day, I was especially picking when I was bored (e.g. studying or driving). So (before I got my fake nails), I decided to wear gloves or band-aids if not all the time, then during these study/driving times especially. 6) See a therapist if you can. It really does help. According to the therapist I saw, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and skin picking or hair pulling often come together (they both concern impulse control). A good therapist can help you tackle skin picking. I still remember my days where I would pick until there was blood on my fingers and still couldn't stop even then. My boyfriend also would slap my hand away when I would go into a picking trance...But fortunately, I have surmounted this problem and feel sooo much better now. There is hope! You can do it!!! Good luck!
cat123
February 11, 2013
Oh- one more thing I'd like to add. From what I understand skin/lip picking is similar to other addictive tendencies (overeating, drinking, ocd, add/adhd etc), in that these habits are related to a physical wiring of the brain, that makes it difficult to resist urges, despite our awareness of the damage to the body or healthy routine. It seems the research says these addictive neural pathways in the brain can be biological (you can inherit certain addictive brain structures from your parents), but addiction wiring can also be created by your environment (what activities/things you are exposed to in life). This latter point is good to know- because if your environment can help *form* addictive structures in the brain, it can also help remove them, and create good structure/pathways. Fortunately, there seems to be lots of new psychology research coming out about the ability to change these brain pathways (neuro-plasticity) through both medication and non-medication-based treatments. In terms of non-medication treatments, one thing I noticed that keeps coming up is the use of mindfulness meditation to help "rewire" the brain's addictive impulses....yep, that's right, meditation. I personally find meditation boring (partially because I have a difficult time quieting my mind and sitting still), but I am going to give it a good shot to see if I can further tackle some of my other addictive tendencies (overeating, for example). Keep in mind, that I am not a psychology doctor or researcher, so I don't know the specifics of all this, but it seems there is some very hopeful research going on as we speak! Google any of these key words, (e.g. addiction and neuroplasticity OR addiction and neural pathways OR addiction and meditation) and you will see what I mean. If you are up for trying the meditation route, there are (non-religious) Buddhist 12-step meditation groups cropping up, specifically designed to overcome any kind of addiction you may have (it's not just for people who overeat or use drugs/alcohol). If you are interested in this kind of thing, I just want to point out that you don't have to be "Buddhist" or any kind of "meditation expert" to go to these groups- they are usually open to all...and while Buddhism is spiritual, it is *not* religious...(For instance, the Buddhist anti-addiction meeting I go to is held by a Christian church... there is no conflict between these ideologies). If you are interested, you might check some of this stuff out. Good luck to all!
deskjockey
February 13, 2013
I just stumbled onto this page and it sounds like I wrote it. I'm 34 and been doing this since I was around 5. I do it when I'm stressed. I do it when I'm really relaxed. I do it when I'm driving, nursing my son, reading, or under pressure. I usually don't even realize it until I'm a good 10 minutes in, at which point, "oh well, I've started, may as well keep going, and then I really mean it, I'm going to try and stop." My SO keeps telling me to "just stop" but I've been trying to "just stop" for years. Looks like there are some good suggestions on here, maybe one of them will work for me. The last time I went a whole day without picking someone commented that my lips looked awful, which set me off on a binge. Then I ended up having to photoshop my lips so I could share a photo of me with my son, since I looked like I'd been punched in the mouth. I'm just so glad to know this is a real "thing" and that I'm not alone in this crazy.
marsbar
February 15, 2013
Oh God, this is great! ...well not really, but; I'm 18 and I'm in agreement with loads of these posts. I always thought I was a freak for doing it. I've been picking my lips since I was... a young child. I remember my Dad saying to me one day when I was like 4/5 *If you keep doing that no boys will want to kiss you* to try scare me off... didn't work haha but it's been a major problem of mine. Usually I do it when I'm reading/anxious or watching something; or when I'm bored. Or when I feel like it. It's like a drug; I'm a smoker; and I can honestly say after ages of trying to peel that one bit when you do it feels weirdly amazing. I don't know what's wrong with me. Why does it feel so good????
nh7750
February 18, 2013
Wow!!! And here I was thinking I was the only one who did this! I'm a 33 year old woman and I can't really remember when it began, but I was at least a young teenager, if not younger. I can't remember a trigger or an event that made me start. I pick my lip when I'm thinking, watching TV, eat, as I am online, doing homework, at work and even driving, etc. My family, when I lived at home, used to tease me and say I'll pick my lip until it bleeds (they were right), but of course, didn't make me stop. Some partners of mine have brought it up, but I can't stop doing it. It's as if I just can't help it. Being a woman, you always want your lips to look nice and succulent, but I have the opposite effect. I keep several chapsticks on hand to help smooth away the look of the effects of the picking. It makes me feel better, but I doubt it looks good to other people. If my nails are cut short, I'll just try my darnest to bite them. I don't know where this came from and wonder if I'll ever stop. It consumes me. I can see how this can be OCD related. Maybe even an oral fixation (Freudian theory). Are there other lip pickers (feels weird to even type the phrase) that also smoke, drink, eat excessively or anything else that will maybe be related to an oral fixation?
Courtniefelicia
March 14, 2013
Wow, all of these comments sound like I typed them myself! That's how similar it is, and I really didn't know many people did this. I've picked my lips since I was a child, and I'm about to turn 20 now. I remember when I started, I was four. My mom picked her lips all the time, and I saw her doing it so I began. I will pick my lips constantly throughout the day, almost nonstop. I'll pick them until they bleed and I have blood on my fingers. My boyfriend gets so angry at me because they look so bad, and I can see how bad they look all the time, but I just can't stop. It's an indescribable feeling of just needing to do it. I look in the mirror and I can see how terrible my lips are but I just can't stop. Time and time again I've vowed to quit, and the longest I've gone is two days I think. I'll appreciate how smooth and pretty they are when I haven't picked at them, but that just makes it feel even better when I give up and start picking them again. I have a very bad addictive personality. I'm a smoker, a drinker, and have been addicted to multiple drugs in my life. I get addicted without any intention of even doing something more than once, so this makes total sense to me why I can't stop picking. My mom is the same. We are basically the same person. We both have an addictive personality, have both been addicted to drugs and drinking and smoking. We both have bipolar disorder and anger problems. She was finally able to stop picking a few years ago and now slaps my hand away when I try and pick mine. When I asked her how she quit, she told me she just stopped picking one day and never did It again. I don't understand how she could have done that so easily. I don't know if I'll ever be able to stop, but I hope someday I will. Oh, also i recently found out my coworker and friend does it too. He will pic his lips until they bleed just like me. It's just so crazy because honestly I thought that I was the only one.
Iwant2Stop
March 18, 2013
My heart skipped a beat! It's 3 a.m. This is the fist time I googled this stupid annoying habit we have. I wish I could hug every person that goes through this. My hand becomes physically tired of peeling my lip and I don't stop; I can't stop. I pretend there isn't blood on my fingers until I peel off the last skin on my lip then and only then do i go wash my hands and stop peeling. I'm 28. I haven't excessively peeled my lip (i only peel the bottom lip) in about 3 days. I think it's a record. I want to stop. i'm really tired of it. My lip is so soft it scares me to start peeling again. I am struggling so hard to not peel my lip while I read these posts. Your stories are mine and never had I heard of anyone doing it.I feel like an alien who has finally found its home. I'm right with you guys. I didn't even know there was a name to this madness. I hope these first three days is the beginning to my final days of peeling. I think that I'm so exhausted and annoyed by this habit that I just may be outgrowing it. I love each and every one of you. Thank you for your posts. Now I know that I am not the only one. I feel so guilty so wrong like i'm committing a crime when I sit in front of the mirror and peel away disregarding the blood that comes from my lip. Thank you all.

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