picking/eating

I am completely opposite. I find when my nails are longer. i cant scratch..... I had french tips done on my nails once. and by the end of the day i had snapped them all off. so i could scratch better again. shorter nails i find i can rip into myself alot easier then having longer ones with no grip and no point in me paying good money for my nails to get done. if im only going to pull them off in a day with being frustrated

Zananne! That is an excellent comment. I've buried this inside my soul for so long that most of the time I've forgotten about it. My doctor says that my skin is my barometer. When things in life are good, so'd the skin. Bad joo joo, and skin go koo koo. When I was VERY young (around 5) I got quarantined because I had developed a case of "shingles." For those who don't know, it's herpes zoster. HZ is most often seen in the elderly, not young children. So yes, I got my herpes zoster little child pics put into medical books. My poor Mom did everything, took me everywhere. The most confusing part was that all the doctors agreed on what it looked like, but it would be like a 5 year old developing osteoarthritis. It's just so rare. This was the first time (there three,..I take that back, there were 5 doctors, and four of them encouraged my participation in new drugs, agreed to be a part in in the trial. (When you're in severe neurological pain and itchy you'll do anything a doctor thinks "may" work!!) Like ANY and ALL viruses, they never go away and you never can build antibodies against it, there's no cure. HZ covered my entire trunk from my neck, down to (and even "around" my groin,....like the lips and outer labia and anus). The doctor's recommendation: Calamine lotion and keep an eye on her. Five years old in tears from pain, afraid it'd spread, I could die. The doctor told me (smart move, bucko) that if I touch a sore and then touch a mucus membrane (think eyes, in the vagina, up my nose) it would spread there too. It eventually went away. Now let's talk 20 years later. I develop a skin disorder like psoriasis but multiple biopsies came back negative. I did chemo therapy for 3 months, followed all the rules (and yes it impacted every part of my life). The ONLY place I didn't get this silver, flakey, purple, scrapey, itchy, sore and extremely thick, thick skin,.....my face (my neck/throat got it, not the face). It was my scalp and all the places we pray never to get it, and I got it there too. Facing the fact I'd never be pretty or have pretty skin, I did not want to live like this. Long sleeves and pants in hottest of days. Then, moving forward, (both of those cases resolved themselves), after an accident sliced my face and scalp open with glass, that started my picking, thinking I'd get glass out when often it a zit. Again, my skin is my barometer. My doctor looks at my skin and knows what's wrong with me before we even begin our exam. I did everything,....naturopathic medicine, Bach flower remedies, pcking my own natural herbs, acupuncture, hypnotherapy and don't laugh at this please, but even the "rebirthing" experience (thinking I could create a new me with no skin issues). I wanted to say my whole body is clean and normal and smooth. My body looks normal despite what it's been through. I can wear all kinds of clothes. My skin FEELS and LOOKS normal (except my knees which are little white capped from thick dry skin,....I can live with that). But oevercoming this using everything from herbs to radiation and biopsies,...I sometimes take my soft skin for granted. When I am reminded, I pray God and thank him dutifully. The doctors said I'd never grow out of it and essentially I would like a "snake woman. It took years to get rid of the herpes zoster, years to get rid of what they dubbed "MRM" or multi-rubri-pilaris. It means squat, it just means I have red scabs and sores and flakes on my body and they couldn't locate a diagnosis. I'm here to tell you today, after all I went through (and sorry for the dissertation guys). This disease mutates, at least it did for me. I saw dermatologists who would create COMPOUNDS for me the pharmacist had to make, they weren't available, to try and control this. The compounds started when I was 8 years old, and had this all over the palms of my hands, my fingernails looked fungal, my knuckles were bright, bright red and dry. Catholic school helped, we had uniforms. But my legs were covered, I was forbidden to go barefoot in the gym in case this was contagious (and I failed gym because of that). Shall we write about where I am today? My whole body looks normal, and no one would guess anything is wrong with me. I have ugly feet, but they no longer are covered in scaley red skin and silver shingles. My hands are not as soft a womans, but they're soft enough to where I can shake hands confidently. I'll be happy to share with anyone what I did during each event to rid myself of these diseases. Currently, however, with skin being my organ of choice to DO something with, I've scarred my face beyond believe. My face looks it belonged to TWO kids with chicken pox, that's how much scarring I've got. I have some type of dermatitis on my scalp so yep, I pick at that constantly until I get some good ones that give me blood and roots. The embarassment is when they don't brush out or wash out and I go to school like that. Thin, thin, thin hair,...you can see the dug at holes and scabs easily (next to the dandriff motels that have set up shop in my hair). Anyone interested, I had a total of THREE doctors tell me I'd have this the rest of my life, and they don't understand why I don't still have it. I found ways to sooth the time my body got covered in red, purple, silver scaley bits all over my body except my face (and that, too, I had in my hair, scalp,...if I scratched it, a fingernail filled with white sticky waxy goop could easily slide under a fingernail). My problem is the severe....very severe, embarassing severe, humiliatingly severe, the un-pretty severe, the loss-of-self-esteem pock marked, dented, lumpy, spotty face. I have spots on my face that are white and won't tan, and other parts on my face (and skin) that will tan me back to the Native American Heritage, in only moments. I have help and ideas for SOME of what some of y'all posted on the board, and I'd sure be thrilled if anyone has any ideas for me. Whew, out of breath, but what a relief to confess this.