My forty-day plan....WHO'S WITH ME?!

How was going out without makeup? I bet it was a bit scary at first? I can imagine for me it would be. Usually I also have my hands folded or palms faced down so no one can see my scars. I still do that since my hands are not completely healed, but they don't look as red as they usually do so that gives me hope. I don't really have school again until next Monday, so I can't wait to see how they will look by then. Right now, the urges are still trying to get at me. In fact, while I am typing, I am still consciously doing so so that i will not have the chance to look at my hands. I can't wait for the day when I won't have urges to do this anymore. You are right when you say that we must love ourselves. Whatever happened in the past is unchangeable and we are only going to suffer more if we don't learn to love ourselves and treat ourselves better (half of that line is from another one of your posts i think..). I, for one, do not want to endure any lingering suffering from the past that may have caused this, so I must do what I can to heal myself once and for all. That is absolutely GREAT that your urges are diminishing!!!

"breathe" :) how's it been?

ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?! you did it! you posted this on the 23rd - its been three days! you really made it - i would like to know the details of this accomplishment!! have the urges really subsided? if so, by how much? is the habit really broken after not doing it for 40 days? how much have you healed?

it's not so much about the individual specifics of our compulsion. it is more about that we have a compulsion in general. the solution is not specific to area damaged, but the choice of treatment(s) and determination applied. this is what i basically say in my post "the bottom line is ........... and a solution is possible" and the 40 day challenge might appear too daunting, so why not try a particular path one day at a time?

wonderful that you've made it 20 days !! unfortunately, i don't think the urges will ever go away. :( having gone 30 days myself, the urges are still there and can be bad some days and no doubt those are the stressful days. testing days. very testing. i wish you strength through them. your hands will love you for your resistance, though. guaranteed. your hands are very important and deserve to be pampered for all they endure. keep up the good work you're doing and keep getting them to better and better health. instead of looking forward to this being over with, think of the future as being one day at a time that must be gotten through. your hands will only get better and better. <3 <3 <3

my heart goes out to you !! boy, do i hear you. i am so very very proud of you, though, not at all disappointed. i was never able to go one day, let alone 12 and then 9 and then 16 days without picking. those are major achievements to me. in those days your skin was being treated lovingly. so you had setbacks. that is less important than the fact you had those many days of not picking. those were successful days! how about rather than admonishing yourself about the setbacks, acknowledge that it is understandable considering the insidiousness of compulsive behaviour. understand that it is difficult. accept that it is human nature. and then rise to the challenge of another 9, 12, 16, maybe even more days without picking. perhaps the next string of successful days will be longer than you expect. even if it isn't, a string of successful days is just that. successful days! more and more days of being loving to your skin. with hope, the days spent picking will only be few and fewer in your years ahead. to expect perfection is only a setup for disappointment. i can't say enough, that the fact that you made it those periods without picking speaks of huge successes. don't focus on the setbacks. build upon them. print this message out and share it with anyone that admonishes you for having a setback. or kindly explain to them that what you need is support and understanding that you are able to make significant headway and, being human, experience setbacks. i applaud you with your successes. i was not able to do what you have been able to and neither has many others. i'm sure many visitors here would also applaud you rather than admonish you. i believe you'll be able to do it again. keep your chin up and your shoulder to the wind. it's a tough world and this is a significant challenge to take into it. show your strength again and count the successes, not the setbacks. i hope your support system gets stronger and more positive and loving for you. keep posting! <3 <3 <3

I'm happy to report a successful Day 1, and an almost completed Day 2. Wow, it's amazing when you really think about the triggers of this habit, how it helps you stay out of the trap that leads you to the picking in the first place. I'm dealing with some new guy stress (!) at the moment, which always brings out my fiercest trigger for picking - seeking approval / striving for perfection in order to be approved. I started to feel a little antsy last night about the prospect of this guy being out on the town last night (silly, I know), and I immediately started to think "If only I were prettier, he wouldn't want anyone else but me". That is always the kind of thinking that launches me into a session. Instead of succombing to old ways, I poured myself a hot bath, lit candles, turned off the lights, and read a book by candlelight (with jazz playing in the background). What a luxurious treat! I tumbled into bed at 11 pm relaxed and my anxiety almost gone... and I didn't turn to picking as a way to numb the uncomfortable feelings I was experiencing. I dealt with the feelings, calmed my irrational thoughts / fears, and treated myself well. What a concept! I've also dug up an old spreadsheet that I worked on once with a psychotherapist which was super-helpful, and I thought it might help someone out in forumland. It has seven columns: Date, Time, Trigger (what event / thought triggered the desire to pick ~ e.g. Washing face, looking in mirror), Feeling (describing the feeling at the time you're struggling with the desire to pick ~ e.g. sad, judged, stressed ~ and rating the level of feeling from 1 - 10), Thoughts (the internal dialogue that ensues which can lead to picking ~ e.g. "Look how terrible my skin is" ~ and rating how much you believe in the thoughts from 1 - 100%), Picking behaviour (method used, duration, intensity), Consequences (hopefully this column is filled with feelings of triumph overcoming the desire to pick!). Just a tool that I find very useful... it makes me more mindful (especially when reading over old entries) of what takes me to that place of harm time and time again. Here's to getting all the way through Day 2!