Acne pickers? please give advice

that's the rub, i think, the fact that this does usually start with a real sore, a real acne spot, a pimple, whatever. I don't think initially it is all in your head, but at some point when you keep scratching at yourself, you do realize it is beyond acne. I don't really think of it as" picking" unless there is some sort of puss issue (and if that is the case then you DO have infection and should probably be on antibiotics or something). You probably DO have acne, and in my opinion, it does seem to get better quicker if you pick it and then put an antibacterial cleanser on it...but maybe that's just all in my head, a justification ? I have gone to a number of dermatologists for the "acne" on my back and they are really quite kind, they have never come straight out and acused me of doing it myself (which I appreciate). But one time a dermatologist told me to put lotion on my back, instead of anti-acne cleansers, and he said, "don't itch your back, keep it moisturized"...I tried that but then it seemed even worse. I had red welts developing that to me, were acne...... interestingly, whenever I was pregnant (3 times) my skin always cleared up....I think it was a combination of the hormones, and also, the nausea....If I were to try to reach behind my head to scratch my back up, I would feel nauseous,so I stopped doing it...then sometime after the birth it would all resume. I would have thought I would have gotten over all this by my age. I never would have dreamed two decades ago this would still be plaguing me (but it had been worse, so maybe I should count my lucky stars ?)