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Delta , 19 Jan 2010

experience of picking?

I was just wondering what everyone's experience of skin picking is? myself i pick anything that i can feel, it's like i have to get my skin smooth so all the ragged bits of skin around a scab must be picked and I don't really like it if it starts to bleed as it's like it's destroying all my work as the blood will created another lump on my skin I also just generally like the sensation of skin being peeled off the longer the bit of skin of the better and i like to look at the piece when i have finished, almost like seeing what i have ridden from my body sometimes if i drop or loose this piece of skin before i am done with it, i can get very frustrated and upset and must pick my skin until i have a substitue piece. I once contemplated purposefully burning myself in the sun to be able to peel my skin when i was very angry after an arguement with someone. I never did so and i think i am lucky that careful suncare was drilled in to me from such a young age or i probably would have done.
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ocdFreak
January 21, 2010
I have to say, I have a similar problem. For some reason I seem to gain so much pleasure from doing this to myself. Each piece of skin I peel off, it feels so gratifying *as* its coming off, but then after I see the reddened flesh, now exposed, that was once underneath that piece of skin, I think "Damn, I've relapsed again. Like always. I can't go a full week without creating more scars on my hands that will make me self-conscious in public and bruise my self-esteem whenever someone asks me about what happened to my hands.' what do other people say when asked what happened to their hands? I can't say "oh well often times I like to peel the flesh off of my own hands so much that I bleed and create deep scars that might never even heal now. But its all very satisfying."
Delta
January 28, 2010
I also have really bad scars up and down my arms, i have used every excuse in the book from straighners burnt me, fell down, dog scratched me, caught it at work, a guy once looked at me so bizarly that just to screw with him i simply said "i love rough sex" and walked away. I know what you mean about it knocking you back when people comment though, when i buy clothes in shops i'm always looking at how long the sleeves are and i just can't believe how rude people are when they ask. I would never dream about asking about someone elses scars, you know?
ocdFreak
February 15, 2010
i know!! some people are just rude! you always know when they're about to ask too when they give you weird looks and they just can't stop looking at your scars with such judgmental glances. i mean, maybe you were violently mugged or something - who knows! but it really puts a damper on my confidence. and yeah, i've invented some pretty wild stories too. its amazing what some people will believe, or at least it looks like they do.....
Pickins
February 17, 2010
I'm with you both on this. A huge source of my anxiety is in trying to hide the sores on my fingers and knuckles. At school I have to constantly plan how I will hold my pen that day in an attempt to cover the majority of the sores. It's really embarrassing, especially when working with a group or a tutor or something where they are watching me write something, I get really anxious and can't stop thinking about what they may be thinking about it. Thankfully people rarely ask me what my problem is though. Hopefully this is due to my superior hiding skills but I'm sure a lot of them notice.
ocdFreak
February 17, 2010
I usually have to pull some pretty nifty hand folding tricks too. I think I have developed some superior skills that notice people's reaction when they look at me. Sometimes people don't really ask and it's because they do not notice or they do but do not want to/do not know how to bring it up. But I can tell by their faces. It makes me really self conscious. More so now than it used to for some reason.
jen
February 02, 2010
ocdFreak, i can relate to you COMPLETELY. Except the only difference for me is that i wear these horrible 'badges of honor' all over my face. i feel so confident that 'today is the day i will stop picking!' But it is most certainly not. The gratifying feeling of peeling off a scab, of what once used to be a pimple, but i squeezed (with WAY too much force), is overpowering for me. My self-esteem is in the toilet, and under all the scabs i have, are the scars of the previous ones before. Btw, if you haven't already seen the forty-day post in the forum, i suggest you take a look and join me in the challenge. I am restarting again on day one, because i have cheated, but this time when i have the urge to pick at a scab, i plan to rip up pieces of paper so that mentally, i can satisfy the need to be destructive, but to paper, and not to my face. i hope this course of action will work for my face as i hope that it may work for you and that you could apply this to your hand picking. i hope this helps!
ocdFreak
February 15, 2010
wow i can't even tell you how exhilarating it feels to have someone else with the same problem tell me that they can relate to *me*!! apparently thousands of people do this, but i really haven't met *anyone* else who does. i've read some of these posts now and...i really appreciate the feeling of knowing that i'm not alone in this. i'm sorry the self-esteem issue is bad for you too. it must be rough with scars on the face, knowing how i'm always trying to hide my hands out of embarrassment. i think the 40 day challenge sounds like a great idea - in fact, i'm going to go take a look at it right now! i already know how rough its going to be, but i feel a lot more confident knowing that i am not in this alone. also, i've heard someone suggest that when the urge to pick comes, clench your fists for 2 minutes and use 'self talk'....
ams041102
January 27, 2010
I pick on the bottoms of my feet, my cuticles, and my lips. As I'm sitting here, my thumbs are bleeding and my lips are raw. My husband is not home until later tonight so I'm sure I'll get at my feet when I get home from work. I quit smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day for going on a year and 1/2 so I just can't understand why I can't quit this! I've been doing it for as long as I can remember. I get enjoyment out of it until the aftermath. Embarassingly enough, I even eat the skin which also brings enjoyment. I'm always saying I'm going to quit, lets start with this first (example:lips) and when I'm good with that go to the next thing. That never works. It's embarassing, my daughter is starting to do it to her lips (which is where I started), and I'm tired of it ruling my life
lauren
January 30, 2010
I can totally relate to the need for it to feel smooth. Which is just bloody ridiculous because an hour later and its not smooth again. I am so utterly fed up and exhausted by this 'condition'. I am having my first ever councelling session on Weds to talk about methods of stopping this compulsion. I am 28, and have been picking since about 13 yrs old. I just woke up one morning and said "enough is enough". I need help. I am going to start ageing soon and I am so angry with myself for wasting all those precious years when my skin was all young and wrinkle free- I wasted my precious youth ruining my own skin. I will not only be wrinkly, but have scars. Great. Why do we do this to ourselves????
PurpleMe
February 16, 2010
OMG yes!! Delta I do the same thing, it's like if I see a peice of skin that is uneven or just loose I have to pick it off so it is all smooth,and with the picking of scabs it's like the bigger it is the better and when it bleeds I kinds get mad because now I can't pick it cause the blood is in the way and it messes it up. Whenever I pick a scab I like at it and I hate when I drop it and can't find it because then it's like crap I have to pick a new one now. When I think about it's really bad, but i can't help it sometimes and sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it.
ready2Bdone
February 17, 2010
I love to squeeze a bump and try to get the puss out of it. The ones that explode are my favorite. I actually get a moment of pure excitement out of it like I have just won a contest or something. Sometimes if my arms/legs/back/face are all picked over and I can't find anything to squeeze I get really frustrated. I'll make a deal with myself that I will stop after the next one I get to squeeze out something. The problem is sometimes I create a few scars before I get a satisfying one. My biggest issue is that I run my hand over my skin and the moment I find a bump I can't think of anything else but picking it. I find myself picking at something I can't even see when I am at work or in the car. I am so lucky I haven't gotten into any accidents from picking yet. I am way safer on the phone or texting! I am in California where both are illegal. I also don't like it when my picking results in blood. It is like a burden. Now I have to clean it up and wait for it to stop bleeding before I can move on or be seen by someone or cover it up with makeup...etc. I'm not sure how to stop this behavior. I pick mostly at night but I also do it throughout the day. I'm glad I'm not alone!

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