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rosie , 18 Feb 2010

40 Day Challenge! Count me in!

Hi everyone! I've been on this site for a year or two now, but I always just read the forum and don't contribute much... but, it's time that I finally change. I'm a 23 yr old Canadian and I've been a picker since grade 4. I'm studying to be a psychologist and I therefore have a lot of good info in my head about behaviour change and anxiety, but I've had such problem using the knowledge I'm learning! I've also been to a counsellor for my picking/anxiety probs, but I still never fully implemented what I learned. But I've picked for so long! Mostly my face and chest, sometimes legs/scalp. But I feel everyone's pain, shame, and anxiety. And I LOVE you all!!! I have my own housecleaning business and I'm always in houses alone, and of course that means I'm stuck cleaning bathroom mirrors... and it often goes bad for me. Today I was having a really strong day, I wasn't even paying attention to my skin! And then at the very end of the day I got anxious and picked at my face WAY too long. All alone in someone else's house. Isn't that weird? It's so stupid that I don't even care where I am! Anyhow, today is the end of this for me. This is the one-millionth and one time I'm quitting. And I always tell myself that I've tried everything to quit... and then my mom said that I had tried everything EXCEPT trying really hard. That hit home for me. Also, my counsellor told me that all behaviour changes (cognitive behavioural therapy) involve the ABCs (affect/feelings, behaviour, cognitive/thinking). So how it works for us pickers is that you must FIRST change the behaviours. You might not think you want to, and it might not feel good or right at all. But change the behaviour completely. Then, within days to a few weeks, your thinking (cognition) will change on it's own. You won't think about skin like a crazy person anymore! And then finally your feelings will change, and you'll feel all better about yourself and your new life. He estimated for me that the whole process until your feelings finally change is about 3 months or so after changing a bad behaviour. I hope this helps you all maybe. I'm also going to write some messages of motivation and encouragement on my bathroom mirrors and shower in candlelight. I hate having to wear makeup! I can't wait until tomorrow to start my new life! Good luck to everyone tonight! Please let me know how your 40 day challenge is going!!!
100 Answers
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wildflower
April 21, 2010
were i you, as soon as i was home and in for the day i would clean my skin and put bandages on. at least when your fingers go to your face there's nothing to pick and nothing gets contaminated either. the longer bandages are on, the better the healing beneath them is. i can't speak highly enough about the role of bandaging up my sores and temptations in the process of keeping my fingers away from them and allowing my skin to heal with fewer scars. apologies if my repeating myself is annoying.
Manon Morin
April 22, 2010
Today is day2 for me. When I got home last night I took a shower washed my face and moisturized. I did however pick a couple of spots but it wasn't a big deal. I stopped myself before it was too late. I need to not pick at all. Self-control and determination. I feel and start to look much better when I don't pick, at this point so much because I did pick last night but not as much as I usually do. Today I will try my hardest to not pick at all. I am determined to beat this. I feel excited when I say this but at the same time I have said this many times but this is my first time I am taking a 40 day challenge and finding this forum full of support. It's great! Thanks
wildflower
April 22, 2010
it is great that you sound very determined and are building up to no picking at all. that is what it takes. zero tolerance. a little will almost always lead to a lot. i hope your determination will get you there soon. <3 <3 <3
wildflower
April 22, 2010
bummer. i know the rules. zero tolerance to picking of any kind - no picking, no scratching, no squeezing, no tools. now i realize that i allowed my washcloth of all things to become a tool. i scrubbed too vigorously thinking, justifying, that it was "just" exfoliation and did manage to get two white heads off of my chin that were "bugging" me. bad idea. one was probably ready but the other was not and just got very sore and weepy and did not heal up right away like the other one and now i'll have to keep it bandaged nightly. it's smack dab in the middle of my chin a bit under my lip so i won't wear a bandage on it out in public so it won't heal as quickly as it would if i could keep a bandage on it. i need to stick to the rules and i didn't so consider this a setback and will get back into the program a little bit wiser. i was not gentle and will be gentler because now i have a sore that needs to heal and i much prefer my skin all healed. so, back to day one today. i messed up on day six and will strive again for 40, one day at a time. i think it does require that thinking every day. today i will not pick. today i will do no harm. today i will be good to my skin. i can and will be loving to myself despite my anxieties and trials.
wildflower
April 24, 2010
so far, so good, on this 2/40 days. i had to use makeup because my skin didn't like the bandage and gave a reaction. perhaps there was still a slight oil residue or my skin is just getting tired of the bandages. it left an inch diameter round spot on my chin and i had to cover that up. i was feeling so free with not having to wear makeup. dang. i put an anti-inflamatory ointment on it now and my vitamin e oil everywhere else as a moisturizer so i'm pretty sure i'll keep my fingers off my skin for a successful day 2. i'm kicking myself because i really enjoyed my healed skin and it appears this will be slow healing. all you young 'uns, listen up. your skin heals quickly now but it won't later, so nip the compulsion in the bud now so you'll have better skin later, and better skin longer. :)
allforyou
April 25, 2010
haha wildflower soooooo true. "alll you young 'uns, listen up. your skin heals quickly now but it won't later, so nip the compulsion in the bud now so you'll have better skin later, and better skin longer" AMEN! I really like this quote as well ... "Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny." :)
wildflower
April 25, 2010
thank you, andlove "your" quote !! why don't you start a new topic of quotes with it so it stays in the lead post? it can be a place for adding inspirational and thought provoking messages by each of us.
Manon Morin
April 23, 2010
I failed today. I got home from work and after talking to my husband I went into the bathroom to get ready to take shower and there I was picking. This is so hard I'm sitting here at the computer just wanting to touch my face and pick whatever I can find. I get something out of it and I don't know what that is. I feel like I do not want to have anything in my pores even if it is suppose to be there; This is soooo hard for me. I can't even go one day without picking! What can I do? I have to start all over again. I am taking this 40 day challenge starting right now. My compulsivness to want to pick is so strong right now.
Lara
April 23, 2010
You can go one day im sure! think about where you pick and make a list. Then try and think of other things to do to conteract it. If you pick infront of the mirror either block up your mirror or force yourself to stand far away from it in a dimmly lit bathroom. If you pick infront of the tv or computer then keep your fingers busy, ive tried a squishy ball, turning my ring, this weird flicking/clicking my fingernail tips works best for me. I know you can do it, prove it to yourself! and keep us updated
wildflower
April 24, 2010
it really is difficult. i know. i'm still touching my face countless times a day and have to say things to my self like "don't pick!", "careful now", "both hands on the wheel", "sit on that hand", and the like. it really is insidious. it takes a lot of self talk and self control. try to keep away from your bathroom as much as possible. put a night light in it so that there's just enough light for you to do what's necessary in there and leave without checking yourself. try to have the only time you're in front of the mirror be when washing in the morning and at night and make your routine such that picking just isn't in it. be strong with yourself and don't let yourself give in. each time you don't let it happen is a huge success. put stars on your calendar for every success. you can do it.
semisweetsara
April 23, 2010
I just registered on the site, and this is my declaration to take this 40 day challenge. I'm going to buy a bracelet to remind me about my commitment, and maybe that will help.
wildflower
April 24, 2010
welcome semisweetsarea to the 40 day challenge. it's great to have you here. the bracelet idea is a good one. use any and every tactic you believe will help you with this and keep determined. all the best to you.
LindsayB
April 23, 2010
I read this forum the other night, after living with CSP since I was 12 (I am 23 now), I am taking a real stand. I have tried to stop my picking compulsions for a couple years now, but with the help of my fiancé I am really doing it. I've gone 24 hours now, which is the longest I've ever gone without picking since I was 12. I am writing a blog every day to write down how I was feeling that day to document my experiences with overcoming something like this. I hope that it will show other people like us that don't think that they can stop, that there are other people out there that are going through the same things, and have overcome it (like you all showed me). Here is the blog: http://thepicker.tumblr.com/. -Thanks for inspiring me!-
wildflower
April 24, 2010
welcome, lindsayb. it's great to have another person determined to beat this disorder in the 40 day challenge. it's very inspiring to hear you sound so committed. that's what it'll take above all else. determined commitment and it sounds like you have it. all the best to you.

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