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lawomen , 15 Mar 2010

my 9 year old daughther has now had three episodes of skin picking

help i am a mum who needs advice im worried for my daughther she is picking again i do not know why she does it she is destroying her skin she tells me she can not help it ,how do i help her .
8 Answers
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Troglobite
March 15, 2010
Honestly....just buy her lots of expensive skin sore cream.....and tell her to keep putting it on ALL of her sores.....the stuff works wonders like magic....the sores and scabs dissapear basically overnight and it stops any chance of uncontrollable picking.... Use band-aids with the cream if she keeps wiping it off. Hopefully without any sores on her body for a while....the habit of picking will go away....but be careful because it can come back again in the future.....so stay on top of those sores with the skin sore cream.
40daysfromnow
March 15, 2010
I think healing creams are very important and a great idea, but I think the behaviour needs to be stopped or lessened first or she will keep creating new wounds. Try to get her aware of what she is doing. Ask her every morning and night if she has been picking. Try to stop her when you see her doing it and point it out to her. Talk about it as much as you can with her so she becomes conscious of what she is doing. That is the first step to stopping I think. Best of luck
lawomen
March 15, 2010
thankyou for your advice i will put sudecream on she does wipe it off when i have done it before i need to get to the bottom of it i think she is embrassed about it as she doesnt like to talk about it she has sores on her face ,arm hands and two on her scalp i really am worried i have made an appointment at th doctors we will see what they have to say but i know my daughther will not be happy about going to see the doctor . what is causing this?
magpie
March 16, 2010
I think it is hard for anyone with skin picking to explain why they do it. There can be more than one reason. Maybe it's because of school, self-esteem issues, anxiety, traumatic experiences. I know the main reason for my picking is because of my father. He was the BIGGEST bully in my life, and people in my family have noticed. I don't know if you should ask your daughter if something is troubling her...some children get annoyed by thier parents when they ask about the things going on in their life. But that is where you make the decision! Maybe try to observe her daily activities and how she reacts. It might take a long time to figure out the answer, but it is better than fighting for answers with your daughter. hope this is helpful! an apple before bed keeps the docotor from earning his bread
Milllenia
March 16, 2010
My daughter has been picking her skin now for years. She will not seek conselling. So now I have decided to take her car keys aways till i see some improvement. Has anyone tried to discipline the problem and what were the results.
40daysfromnow
March 16, 2010
I would think that punishment might not be the best approach. It probably causes her a lot of stress already and if she can't help it at the moment than she just can't help it. Perhaps take away the car keys until she sees a counsellor...
magpie
March 16, 2010
My dad didn't really punish me, it was more like humilliate me (maybe it was his way of discilining me). When we were with a bunch of friends or family members, and he noticed me picking, he would grab one of my hands and show them to the people we were talking to. He would tell them how disgusting it was that i had this "habit" and the people talking to use wouldn't really know what to say. I think they were feeling awkward in this situation as well. They never asked me about it, they would act like the whole thing never happened but it was so embarresing. Sometimes he would do this to me even if i wasn't picking. If they looked bad, he would cause a scene. It makes me even more nervouse and self-concious about myself. For any parents out there. Please Please Please Listen!! don't do this to your child! it doesn't help. You'll only make them feel worse about themselves. try to be patient and supportive. Offer ideas about how to get better, maybe even offer awards on improvement? Talk to them about it they'll love the idea. If you bully them, they won't want to talk to you about thier problems. Let them know-SHOW THEM that you understand that they are having a tough time with this. Melllenia, i'm not saying that your not doing a good job in controlling this situation. (perhaps in some way getting her car keys back is like an award.) I don't know all the facts. Just seeing the word disipline made me think about my experiance. But some people don't like the idea of counseling, they think that their problems are thier own business and no one elses. At times like that it is best for the person to get help from family. Knowing that their family loves and supports them, and wants to help her, might be the best thing for her. Just a thought! :) an apple before bed keeps the docotor from earning his bread
wildflower
March 16, 2010
When the problems lie with our dependents such as children, we must remember not to do more harm. We must help them with their issues and the underlying causes. We must provide encouragement, not blame or shame. We must be compassionate and caring. We must assist however possible with providing an environment conducive for healing. We must seek help and support when we feel overwhelmed, not take it out on them. Ensure your child gets medical attention if necessary, assist with treating any wounds, lovingly explain that it is unhealthy and serious problems might result, provide the love and support that is needed with deeper issues that might be the root of the anxieties and stresses that might be the source of the self injurious behaviours, seek professional help if need be, provide the necessities (clean clothes, bedding, and skin care products, healthy foods and vitamins), encourage lots of sleep, suggest distractions and alternatives, and be a positive, supportive, loving, caring person your child can turn to. Being a positive role model, a good example, is really helpful too.

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