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chevygirl , 19 Mar 2010

my face is so bad im not going out in public

so i just found this website. im happy and overwhelmed all in one. today i went and looked for a job and then broke up with my boyfriend. both of those were obviously stressfull. when i came home i picked and picked for hours. my face is now so bad that i dont see any way of going into public.considering i need a new job and im attending college i have to. about 6 months ago i stopped working at a lube shop. working around grease and oil 40 hours a week made my acne exponentially worse!!! since then my acne has been more horrible than i've ever experienced.i just recently was started on some prescription medications for my acne. but my picking seems to cancel out any progress the meds make. i used to feel pretty confident in my looks and was very social. with my horrible acne and intense picking, i now have really bad anxiety about being in public and have very low confidence. i dont try to look pretty anymore. i try to fade into the background so people dont notice my face covered in sores. i'm sure all of you people on here completely understand what im feeling. i've read a couple things on here saying that keeping your hands and mind occupied is a very important tool in fighting the urge. but if i'm so anxious about being in public and dont have a boyfriend to occupy me, im not sure that i will be able to do that. being stuck, isolated at home, is going to drive me stir crazy. and make my picking much worse. im going to keep reading the forums to get more tips on how to fight the urges, and im just deciding to start the battle of resisting picking. so if any of you people have anymore tools to help, i will be very appreciative. it does feel really assuring that im not the only one that does this to myself. i could never explain it to my friends or family very well. and since they dont suffer from this, they could never really understand. i would like to say that if my prescriptions work and my acne subsides that i would quit picking if i had nothing to pick at. but i have accepted now that i will always try o find something to pick at. even if its the smallest bump or mark. with my bad acne its like giving a cocaine addict an endless supply of cocaine. the addiction to the drug will only worsen. and its like poeple that cope with comfort food. the larger they get, the more they eat to seek comfort from their insecurities....i get stressed or bored and i pick, which makes my acne worse, which gives me more to pick at, and the damage it does stresses me out to make me picj more and on and on the viscious cycle goes. im sure none of this is new news for any of you people on here. but i guess it's nice to vent and finally find a place to get advice. i also read about cognitive behavior therapy as a way to gain the tools to concour this. unfortunately with no health insurance there is no possibility of getting a shrink to teach me this. if any of you use this tecnique and can share with me how to use this behavior therapy on my own i would be very interested. hope to here from ya'll good luck in your own battles!!!! take care everyone
8 Answers
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inner_turmoil
March 20, 2010
Hi chevygirl. You really are not alone. I can relate so much to your post. Its far easier to be alone than constantly feeling shit about yourself with your partner. This condition is like a bully, it wants you to stay in and be alone :-( It can be beaten but its a vicious cycle. Do keep reading the forum. I find it helps me to not feel so isolated but you are going to have to work hard. I am on a waiting list for OCD group therapy that starts on the 16th of April, so I shall report on that. Cognitive behaviour therapy combined with the right anti anxiety/depressants is the most successful remedy. Here is a free website my doctor gave me...it can be quite lengthy and quite annoying at times having to score how your feelings but it is good at identifying feelings and emotions. Give it a try hun. http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome good luck!!! remember feet face forward for a reason, we can and must move forward :-)
40daysfromnow
March 20, 2010
I found that putting polysporin (tripple action/ heal fast) on at night on infected spots and covering with a bandage for about 12 hours worked AMAZINGLY! The polysporin (or bandage: I'm not sure which is responsible) made the redness/ darkness almost completely disappear overnight and reduced the inflammation and pain. I have never had anything work overnight besides this. In the morning it was soft and almost like nothing ever happened to my skin. I then washed it off very gently, rubbed a VERY THIN amount over the areas again and covered with concealer. Hopefully if you can heal your skin a bit, you might have incentive to leave it untouched. Oh, and on the polysporin package it says not to use it for more than 7 days in a row I think. I just used it for 3 days and mine went away. 3 or 4 days is all you will need if you don't pick at it. I once heard that you should treat your skin like delicate silk. Don't scrub it hard and don't pick at it at all. Your face is very delicate and it WILL do better at healing itself if you leave it alone. Pores don't need to be unclogged manually. They will be better off left completely alone. That is a hard thing to understand and it has taken me years to be convinced of it. But it is true. Squeezing your skin is the worst thing you can do for acne. If you leave it alone it WILL go away much much faster than if you pick at it. Best of luck with your skin and job!
wildflower
April 05, 2010
this post is full of optimism too and good advice. i, myself, am allergic to topical antibiotics but tried many ointments and found that simply bandaging up overnight does wonders. the body heals itself during the sleep cycle. bandages keep anxious fingers off and keeps adequate moisture on as well as protecting from contaminants. a pretty simple regiment of gentle washing, moisturizing, not picking, and gentle washing as outlined in other topics here, and bandaging as often as possible until sores are healed will produce wonderous results.
vicstic
April 05, 2010
Hi, me too hun I've just picked and I wont be going out for the rest of this week. I tend to cope with things in the meantime with doing something constructive so then at least by the end of the week I can think I achieved something while my skin is healing. For example this week my goal is to workout every day, start my essay and eat really well this week. I should feel better by the end of the week and my skin should hopefully on its way to recovery. Also, you say you were confident and happy with your looks; this is like me. So why do we make our situation worse for ourselves? Set goals- i find it very useful. Whether its a task for the day or to not pick for a day or whatever. It does kind of suck about your health insurance though, we dont have that problem in the UK (we have plenty others mind you!) I did finally get put on prescription drugs accutane which totally rid my acne but i continue to pick! I need to stop and live my life! In theory the solution is simple but in practice is not. Skin does heal itself, time is all we can give it. I need to let it do its job and stop interfering!! God bless this site and good luck to you.
wildflower
April 05, 2010
i think this is the kind of post we need to see more of. posts of optimism and ideas and solutions rather than descriptions of picking episodes. we all know only too well what we do to ourselves with our fingers and tools. i don't think we need reiterations of those practices and feel what we do need is examples of healthy habits replacing the bad ones. way to go, vicstic! working out every day and eating healthy are such good plans. watching your skin heal is an awesome sight. and these words merit being repeated ----> In theory the solution is simple but in practice is not. Skin does heal itself, time is all we can give it. I need to let it do its job and stop interfering!! <--- all the best to you. hopefully you will be an inspiration to others with your example.
vicstic
April 06, 2010
Thanks wildflower, thats really encouraging. I agree that posts should offer solid advice and solutions from fellow skinpickers and promote a postive atmosphere. I think why we've got so many examples of stories of picking rather than solutions is people like to get their stories across and find some initial comfort. I didnt even know I was posting optimisim really, I was just posting what works for me. My personality has a lot to do with my picking- im very controlling and perfectionist. The solution? put these traits into more constructive areas of my life like controlling my eating- eating well for example and working out, which is perfecting my body obviously. Once you've established health in these areas you wont want to touch your skin. AND its something to make you feel great in the meantime while your skin heals. Also, my personality means that I am very keen to sit down and work out WHY i pick and come up with a solution for it Really motivate yourself- write down where you want to be/what you want to achieve and start from there. Take photos if you have to and document your progress. Find some inspiration from a magazine or something of skin you like-(im not saying models are the way to go but its going to be a sharp reminder of how much UNECESSARY DAMAGE you've done to your skin) Other reasons to pick may include boredom, triggers, stress, esteem issues, excuses to prevent you from getting where you want to be and bizarrely a rush from doing the damage to seeing it clear. Good luck everyone
bellaelle52
April 06, 2010
Oh man, I've totally been there. Well I've only been a couple of days without picking, (I just joined this community) but honestly just realizing that I actually have a compulsion and not just errant hands has probably been the biggest step. After joining this community and posting here, it's as if a big weight is off my chest and I can finally admit I have a problem. I totally hear you about the cocaine addict being given an unlimited amount of cocaine. That is a really great analogy. Basically, I have an "open and close" mirror in my bathroom and I leave it open so that way I can't look in it. On the actual mirrors in my whole house I have written on them with a whiteboard marker "DON'T PICK!!" in huge letters. That's done a lot just to get me to step away from the mirror too. Another thing is don't expect to quit cold turkey. When I first decided I was going to quit, I told myself I was going to just be done with it and never pick again. Well of course, that night I realized that I had a easily pop-able zit on my forehead. I forced myself to leave the bathroom but i kept fidgeting and fidgeting and just kept thinking about and thinking about it. So I told myself I could pop just that one. It was actually easier to leave the other ones alone then. I told myself I couldn't look around for more things to pick at and it was actually shocking at how easy it was to leave the bathroom. Now, if I feel one (just by accident though) I allow myself to pop it. It has to be one that is like a fully white head though where I won't dig at it. Otherwise I force myself to leave it alone. Just don't expect too much out of yourself right away or you're just going to stress yourself out and make the urges stronger. Some techniques I've found to just stop myself from picking when I walk in the bathroom are: 1. Putting bandages and neosporin on ones that I would be tempted to pick at 2. If i get "itchy hands", or if I feel myself feeling my face for bumps, I'll drop my hands to my sides and clench and unclench my hands and take a couple of deep breaths. It actually does make the urges go away. Or just like shake out your whole body. I'll just start jumping and flailing my arms (I look like an idiot haha) but it totally releases the energy and stress that I'm feeling from holding myself back. 3. Wear earrings and when you feel the urge to pick or feel your face, just twist the earrings. I find that I have REALLY fidgeting hands (every since I was little) and just giving them something to do really helps. 4. and just try to keep doing things to stay out of the bathroom and away from mirrors!! Hope this helps. Let me know if you find anymore techniques!

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