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violet , 20 Apr 2010

really struggling

hey everyone. i guess i've been absent from here for a few days because i'm just really struggling to succeed at the no-picking thing. i made it 5 days, and then i slowly fell right back into my old ways. i don't really know what to do. the frustrating thing for me is that my skin just keeps looking gross even if i'm not picking... i really need to get some help with my acne. and when i pick, even though I KNOW IT'S NOT TRUE, i can't help but feel that i'm doing something to get rid of my acne... because i "get rid of" the puss and whatever that is in my pimples. ugh. i've just always had a tendency toward perfectionism and obsessiveness. i don't really know. i'm just frustrated. i think the 40-days thing might be too overwhelming for me. i might try to start smaller now that i'm starting again. i'm starting again tomorrow... i might just go for 20.
11 Answers
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40daysfromnow
April 21, 2010
Same with me. I haven't been posting as much because I kinda slipped again. I'd love to start with you tomorrow. Well.. I'm starting now but I'm starting to count again tomorrow. I too, can't help thinking that I'm doing good for my skin by picking sometimes. But after I pick I ALWAYS KNOW and realize that picking it was a baaadddd idea. I used to think everything needed to be picked, but now I only get deceived by large, sore, red spots. It is an improvement, but isn't good enough. I need to beat this.
violet
April 21, 2010
thanks for responding... it helps to struggle through this with someone else. i guess we just need to keep reminding ourselves that it's NOT helping, no matter what we may feel while it's happening. you noted an improvement -- good for you! i also think we should celebrate every single small improvement. otherwise, we'll just continue to get so discouraged. ok. i stayed away from the forum because i felt guilty, and i didn't want to see other people succeeding while i was failing. (selfish, i know.) but now i'm realizing that staying away from the forum only encouraged my continued picking... we're here to help each other out. i like that. :) tomorrow, the counting begins. right now, the picking ends. thanks again.
wildflower
April 21, 2010
i hear you both !! i can't count the times i justified what i was doing. i felt i "had" to do it. i'm a master of excuses. i was a master of picking and bandaging. i've said every excuse and justification there is at one time or another and vehemently believed them. i realize now that such a belief couldn't be more wrong and until you probably prove to yourself that it is wrong, you won't believe otherwise. that's how it was for me. it took a couple of weeks of no picking and real good loving healthy treatment of my skin and my body in general, especially the not picking part, and only then did i see the results. undeniable results. i wish you both heaps of strength tackling this compulsion and want to stress the importance of a positive attitude. one hour of not picking is success. one day of not picking is success. 5 days of not picking is success. setbacks are setbacks. you begin again. hopefully with more determination each time and without recrimination. just try desperately to keep the setbacks small ones. i'm very encouraged with the conviction i read in your posts. i believe that you can do this !! <3 <3 <3
Manon Morin
April 21, 2010
You went five days without picking your face that is very good. How did you do it. I am trying to go one full day without picking. If you can stop for five days you can do it again even longer this time. What worked for you?
violet
April 22, 2010
i tried a number of things... i started wearing a watch so that i can play with that when i'm tempted to pick. i've been trying to use the mirror in my room instead of the one in the bathroom, so that i'm not in the same environment that i usually pick in. i've learned to identify the times that i'm most likely to pick and then i try to be conscious of what i'm doing during those times... it's a lot of mind games. oh, and it also helped me to tell my mom... and to visit this forum. and i made a calendar with the days numbered on it, and i crossed them out one by one. i still don't know how to handle those large "pick me!" types of pimples. and i did lapse after 5 days... we'll see how it goes this time. i hope i've been helpful!
wildflower
April 22, 2010
going 5 days is really something, violet !! good going !! if you're getting the large pimples, perhaps examine your cleansing regimen. what are you using to clean your skin with? are you using any anti acne medications? perhaps some might be in order. benzoyl peroxide regimens are usually the order of the day. a pharmacist could help you out with choosing it. or maybe you need to see your doctor? might an antibiotic be required? outside of those thoughts, you are doing really well !! 5 days of no picking is 5 days of no picking !! :)
wildflower
April 22, 2010
that is really good. if you are prescribed something that will help clear your skin that would be a great help especially at this time that you are making a big effort to quit picking. even if it is suggested that you take an antidepressant to help with the anxiety, that's not so bad. the important thing is, to realize that all these are tools to assist with the process. they will not do the whole job. the real issue is keeping your fingers and tools from doing damage of any kind, plain and simple - but very difficult.
40daysfromnow
April 22, 2010
I have found benzoyl peroxide to be the best. I use a 5% daily face wash. I use it in the morning and at night. I also use Differin gel at night (ingredient: adapalene). You need a prescription for that. It unclogs pores so that acne doesn't form in the first place. I have also started used a 4% AHA cream on the healed areas. It will be another 2 weeks or so before I can tell if that has worked to lessen my dark splotches. I would get some oil free, non comedogenic concealer and cover up the "pick me" spots when you go out of the house. And as soon as you have privacy I would stick a small bandage over it. That way you won't see it and the bandage will keep it clean.
violet
April 22, 2010
ok guys -- i made it through the first 12 hours of today... and then i got really stressed about this paper i'm writing, and i picked like CRAZY. so much mindless picking... the worst thing was that i knew it was going to happen, and it was like i could do nothing to stop it -- worse, like i didn't WANT to try to stop it! part of me was just like, "you're stressed. this is what you do when you're stressed. it's ok." BUT i'm not ok with it anymore! and i need to change this! I guess i'm going to give myself a 1/2 day of success on my calendar so that it doesn't feel like my efforts earlier today were a total waste. i just don't know... sometimes i just want to give up, and other times i'm so convinced i can beat this. i wish i could always be so convinced... i don't want to fall back into my old ways every time i'm stressed, cuz there's a LOT of stress coming up in my life, and i'd like to be able to get through it without the added stress of my skin being nasty. ok. thanks for listening. i guess i'll just try again tomorrow.
Manon Morin
April 22, 2010
Keep trying. I do the same thing too when I am stressed out I pick like crazy. I am taking the 40 day challenge and I find it very helpful. I am on day2. I pick my face everyday. I'm sick of it too. I want to beat this once and for all and you can too. We need to stay out of the mirrors and put into our minds that picking is not a stress reliever it just causes more stress. We need to start feeling good in our own skin, everyday. Pimples, bumps blackheads they go away, scars do not! Let's stop hurting ourselves once and for all. If we have caused permanent damage already let's not let it get worst. Let us take care of our skin now and forever because we deserve it. Take care and all the best don't ever give up take it one day at a time.

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