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timeforchange , 24 Apr 2010

Calling All Self Haters

I realized my biggest issue in life is self love. I don’t love myself enough. In fact I practically hate myself. I think (among other things) picking at my face is mainly my form of self punishment for not loving myself. I’m mad at myself for all my flaws: being moody, ugly, a procrastinator, emotional, stupid, shy, etc. But my flaws are only illusions that I put out for myself. Some of my “flaws” can actually be beautiful traits if I just tell myself that they are. Being moody is mostly inevitable, most women are. I just have to accept that part of me and control it when I’m around others. Being ugly is a lie and I know it. I’m really blessed when it comes to my appearance. I just tell myself that I’m ugly as a block from something (I still don’t know what I am trying to block). And I pick at my face to make myself look uglier then I really am. Being a procrastinator is only partially true. I procrastinate in things that take creativity and thinking such as my art because I want it to be perfect. Mostly I start project right away and take forever to finish them. This causes me great stress. I need to learn and practice to work consistently. Being emotional is not a negative aspect, I should be glad I express my emotions freely instead of bottling them up and letting them explode. Being stupid is a lie as well; I have excellent grades in school and make wise life decisions. Being shy is mainly because of my lack of confidence. If I became more self loving I would gain confidence and become more outgoing. I need to start being positive about myself. I need to love myself. My love for myself is more important then the love I receive from others. If I love myself others will see that and want to love me too. Lets all practice self love together. Lets focus on are beautiful gifts, not our flaws. Start by writing a list of all the things you love about yourself, no lying. You should have at least ten things. Feel free to post your lists.
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40daysfromnow
April 24, 2010
Nice idea! I don't love myself so this is hard... I love my eyecolour, my height, my fingernails, that I'm educated, that I am caring, my birthmark on my neck, that I am not over-confident, that I'm easy to get along with, that I can cook, and my music abilities.
CattiBre
April 24, 2010
This is a great topic. I struggle daily with self love... I heard somewhere that if you dont learn to love yourself, you cant truly love another.... I never really cared about picking, and scarring because I never any point. Im not anything special (so to speak) But after reading this.. maybe its worth a shot. I love my eyes, they are dark and emotional I love that I try to find happiness in every situation, because I dont want to miss a moment in life being negative. I love the odd time when I look in the mirror and say "you look great", and really feel it. I love my hair... Ive been working on growing for a very long time, and its finally getting there haha. Im not trying to be self centered.. but I think that its okay to tell yourself these things now and again.. especially when most of the time you hate yourself.
timeforchange
April 25, 2010
Saying positive things about yourself is not being self centered. It is definitely ok to tell yourself that you have many beautiful qualities. You obviously have trouble thinking positive thoughts about yourself and loving yourself, or you wouldn’t be posting a comment on here, so you are far from being self centered sweetheart.
wildflower
April 25, 2010
we should acknowledge what we love about ourselves. we might be too often focusing on the negative but there must be things we love about ourselves and we should think about them more. i love that i am a compassionate person, that i'm very intuitive, that i am a survivor with strength in the face of adversity, that i have artistic ability, that i am intelligent, that i have a sense of humour, and i guess i'll have to think about four more and edit this once i have ....
wildflower
April 25, 2010
four more ..... i also love that i'm a kind person, i love my frugalness, i am honest, and i'm a tolerant person ... there ... those are the things i love about myself ... :) ... and thank you, cattibre
allforyou
April 25, 2010
hey everyone :) i love this forum. i think self-love is so important for such a thing like skin-picking. ***remembering your worth*** as hard as this is to admit, i think sometimes i have very poor vision of the future, or at least i find myself feeling hopeless at times. i think hope and love are so important in beating this addiction for good. having hope and confidence in yourself for a brighter tomorrow, but more importantly, having enough self-love or to KNOW and embrace your uniqueness and purpose in this life... to KNOW that the future holds great things for each of us :) i know that i am going on a tangent so i will just say one of the things i love about you all and then myself. one thing i love about you all is that ... you have the will power and courage to make a change.. that you are mindful of yourselves and in this with others to help not only yourself, but others in the process ... THAT is awesome :) we all have the will power in us, we just have to dig a little bit deeper when it comes to things WE KNOW are just hurting us in the long run .. ie. skin-picking. one thing i love about myself is ... my tender heart! okay, that's all for now. sweetest dreams everyone :)
cherrycolalola
April 25, 2010
You are so right about the importance of self love. I am trying to foster more love for myself but sometimes its hard. Right now Im struggling because I have such bad scarring from my last picking episodes. I feel hopeless because even if i stop completely the scarring will still be there. I keep thinking Ive ruined everything for good and its pointless. But I know all this is a lie. I can always work on loving myself, scars and all. Id like to keep trying to separate my self esteem from how I look so that I can love myself no matter what and move on. I think sometimes I get so caught up in the technical part of not picking (tips, tracking it, products etc) that I forget the real work has to be on the inside. Its really hard for me to be positive right now and list things I like about myself but I'll try. I like my eyes, especially one of my iris's because it looks kind of like a star. I like the shape of my legs. I like that I can crack my friends up. I like that I am compassionate and I like that I am open minded and accepting. I think I am going to spend this week trying to cultivate more love for myself. Thank you tfc for bringing up an often forgotten part recovery.
allforyou
April 25, 2010
Oh my goodness, cherrycolalola ... i totally feel you!!! I KNOW that hopeless feeling love. The feeling that you have already done so much damage that it does not matter anymore if you tear your face to shreds because you will always have scars, and your pours will just keep getting bigger. I know it all too well. But, we both know that is TOO HOPELESS possibly TOO EXTREME thinking... it is a total lie! So happy to be able to talk about this and really vocalize that it IS A LIE!!! Our skin cells will heal and regenerate if we allow them to...but we must ALLOW them to first :) Maybe if we look at it as ... "okay, skin, i am going to ALLOW you to heal". I think picking my face is somewhat of a control thing(among many other issues--such as stress/self-hate/etc.) ... so perhaps if we believe we are still in control, yet instead of *destroying* our skin we *allow it to flourish and shine* we will make some progress :) :) Oh my and can I just also say ""Id like to keep trying to separate my self-esteem from how I look so that i can love myself no matter what and move on"" IS THE BEST THING I HAVE HEARD ALL WEEK!!!! Amen lady :) I want to do that too :) Let's keep focusing on that inner beauty and strength we can pull out from our priceless souls and shine like we have never before!!

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