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Dermatillomania (skin picking disorder)

Bea , 13 Jul 2008

Feet picking

Hi, I'm a 48 year old woaman from the UK. I've been picking obsessively at the soles of my feet for about 16 years now. In my younger days I had other obsessive habits: a year or so of OCD riutualistic behaviour with which involved categorising things with numbers, then obsessive blackhead removal followed by a period of constant searching for split ends. The foot picking began after a period of self loathing in my early 30s and I have been unable to stop. The good thing is that it's largely invisible to the outside world and I manage to control it in the company of others, apart from close family. To this extent it hasn't ruined my life, job or anything but is nonetheless causing me great angst. Until I came on this site this evening I did not know this condition had a name and identity, CSP, which is strangely comforting. I hope just being on the site will help me overcome the problem. I have to say I 'm hugely grateful to all of you for posting your experiences here because it helps a newcomer like myself to understand that we are not alone. I have suffered terrible guilt and self disgust at my habit. I think the problem shifted to my feet because I loathe them anyway. They are big and wide and ugly with bunions. I've never been able to wear dainty strappy sandals and the foot picking is making things worse. In the summer the problem is exacerbated because my feet are in flip flops or sandals rather than safely zipped up in boots with socks all day! In winter evenings, when I'm in my slippers, and no one's around, are far worse. Sometimes I pick my feet so much (and use a chiropody blade too) they bleed and I have to clean blood off my shoes and wear plasters. I even limp for a few hours if I go too mad. I can't help thinking that the typical OCD perfectionism is at play here. I feel that I am striving to achieve a perfect smoothness with my feet and am not satisfied with any kind of roughness. Unfortunately I know deep down the roughness is mostly caused by me and I'm making it worse. Sometimes I manage to avoid foot picking for a while, when I'm out all day and in the evenings in the company of others. It usually occurs in situations when I am bare footed and resting for long periods eg. watching TV, using my laptop, reading the paper. These are all situations where I cannot resist picking my darned feet and eating the skin!! My husband sometimes tries to stop me but it just adds to the tension I'm feeling. I'd be particularly interested in hearing any comments from compulsive foot pickers out there. Is there a method for dealing with it, other than cutting my feet off or tying my hands behind my back...?
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bluebutterfly77
July 07, 2011
Wow! I can't believe how many people do this also! I've been doing this for as long as I can remember! I also use nail clippers and I won't stop till I bleed! I'm 36 now and always think I'll outgrow it. It's something I cannot stop. It doesn't hurt until after I'm done and out of the zone and then I start walking and then I'm like fuck! So I'll put bandaids on the worse parts and wait until the skin grows back and do it again and again. I'll keep the skin in a pile and when I'm done cannot believe all that came from my feet and I'll play with the chunks of skin and try to see how big I can get a chunk at a time.. this is so wierd saying it out loud! But.. I have NEVER ever eaten it. Never even crossed my mind and to think about it is gross but so is pulling the bottom of our feet off! Good to know I'm not alone!
nissa1186
July 09, 2011
I feel so crazy right now! I have been picking one of my feet for a year now(I thought that was long!). Tonight my boyfriend mentioned my foot again. I refused to show him because he makes me feel guilty. He pointed out how far it has spread- from just the heel to about 80% of the bottom and later side of my one foot is a dark red-probably more red because I've been picking at it since I got home from work (about 10 hours ago). It aches more than it usually had and I didn't even make it bleed this time. My foot has also been having the feeling of falling asleep this week and that's a first. Does anyone else have this problem? Probably disrupting the nerves.. In my first time ever search about foot picking, I found a youtube video of someone picking at their foot and it was just disturbing!! And reading a few of the comments on here disturbed me further! First, how are you able to continue picking for so many years without damaging nerves like I obviously have? Second, why in the world would you eat it?! I'm replying to bluebutterfly77's post because I agree that it never crossed my mind, but my dog does enjoy eating the flakes of skin I leave behind..UGH it's just so gross! What do we do about the fact that it seems to calm us down or whatever? I am not OCD, but I have noticed that I always feel the need to do two things at a time. I cannot watch tv or read without doing something else. Lately, it's the foot picking or sudoku. I'm addicted to both. Luckily, maybe this addiction of ours is saving us from a more dangerous addiction? Very possible. Anyway, just please let me know if anyone else has had a problem with their nerves getting weird or the foot falling alseep. Thank you!
RobotGal
February 13, 2012
Interesting, I also have to have two things going on at once. Since getting my laptop as a graduation gift in high school, I developed the routine of watching tv and being on the internet. When I'm doing one or the other, I crave the second to complete the routine. Just thought it was a habit, but might be part of my anxiety problem. I do realize now reading your post that most of the time, I pick my feet when watching tv or sitting quietly. Maybe I need to make sure there's something else there so I don't do that. If sudoku is your other habit, maybe when you find yourself picking stop and grab the sudoku book instead. Might help trick yourself into wanting sudoku more???
bIgFaTwOrM
June 21, 2011
I can't express how relieved I am to find out I'm not alone in this. I started picking my feet probably around the age of 8, I haven't stopped ever since. Fortunately I haven't come to the point of bleeding but I have done some pretty weird things just to remove dead skin, not to mention I usually put it in my mouth and chew on it afterwards. It started off on the fingers, but when I started getting small callouses on my feet I began picking there. At first it was just with my fingers on the toes, but moved onto the entire underside of the foot. Now I have huge callouses covering the undersides of my feet and I'll do a variety of things to remove the dead skin. Sometimes I scrape scissor blades along the underside of my foot and sometimes I just cut into the skin with a sharp blade, thankfully I've never drawn blood or injured myself seriously but I've always been worried about it. I'm 18 now and I still can't stop it, sometimes I'll even eat and I don't even know why, it just comes naturally... After the fact though I always find myself disgusted with what I've just done, but no matter ho much I try to resist it, I'll take the nearest sharp object, be it a knife or a sharpened pencil and try to peel off the skin. I'd like to say again that I'm glad I found this place, at least I know that other people are going through the same thing.
Emzy
August 22, 2011
So many people here have described exactly what I do to my feet. One post literally I kept going 'oh I do that....and that....and that...and that'. I don't really know why I pick the bottom of my feet. I've always picked at/bitten something since I was about 6 (I'm 18 now). I've always bitten my fingernails, but when I managed to stop doing that at around the age of 10/11, I started picking the skin on my head under my hair, and I used to have big areas of scab that I would then pick off and my head would be bleeding a lot of the time. Istopped doing that when my Mum found out and told me off every time she saw me doing it. But that started the fingernail biting again. Then I began to bite the skin around my fingernails too and I still do that. But the foot picking has only been going on for just under a year now. And sometimes I just have to limp around the house because I've hurt it so bad, and it burns in the shower when it comes into contact with hot water and soap. I avoid showing people my feet at all costs. And I have a pair of scissors on my bedside table, in case I can't get the bit of skin off with my fingers. I told my friend ages ago and she told me I was disgusting and that I ought to just stop. So I never spoke to her about it again. Can anyone suggest any tips to stop doing it? My feet don't often bleed from it, but when they do, I put plasters on them, and then my Mum noticed once and I lied to her and said I cut my foot on some glass. I just want to be able to stop. And at the moment I feel like I can't. Is it psychological?
RobotGal
February 13, 2012
You know, the first bad habit I've really had is pick my nose (I know, gross!). The next was chewing nails. I love picking zits, including my husband's and when he won't let me I tend to get irrationally angry, like I'm being deprived of something. I now pick my feet and pluck hairs a lot (don't know if that's also a problem). I think stress is always a trigger. My feet picking gets so tempting sometimes, I've actually picked my feet in public and rather than being embarrassed, actually felt justified! Anybody else do that? As for it being psychological, definitely. I myself suffer from an anxiety disorder and depression but it could even be as simple as means to relieve stress.
smiler
September 02, 2011
hi guys im new to this and didn't even know a site would be out here, im sat here now with my feet killing i have been picking most of day im in agony and made it bleed this morning x
billyp
September 15, 2011
Like many of you here, i am glad to know that i am not the only one to do this. However, I compulsively pick the skin on my feet with anything sharp. Be it a pin that a literally drag across my heel to make and incision in my heel allowing me to pick at it. And sometimes I use a knife which a saw across my heel to remove the hard skin, cutting myself on occasion because ive cut to deep. Does anyone else use tools such as knives? i feel like an evil torturer to my own body :(
Tonychen
February 09, 2012
Yes , I feel that way too, cutting into the skin and then picking, it seems so wrong, but I feel comfortable when I do it. I uses knifes, pins, toothpicks, scissors, anything that's sharp.
solesrunred
September 22, 2011
This all brought me to tears. It is so comforting that I no longer feel alone with this dreadfully satisfying habit. Comforting and sad too, that so many people suffer from it. I've been ripping the skin off from under my feet since I was a young child. As the callouses developed over time, it took more than my nails to pierce the scar tissue and I would use pins, scissors, razor blades, knives or just about any sharp pointy thing I could get my hands on to make incisions. I usually focus on the bottom half of the flat of my foot but I've begun moving upward recently. It's to the point that sometimes when I do it, my feet bleed and I can barely walk for a couple days. I can't wear whole shoes, only sandals now, I can never show anyone my feet and I'm slightly embarrassed when I go for a pedicure. I only go about twice a year when I've mucked things up so badly that I can't stand myself. Another thing I do, and please try not to be grossed out, is ripping off my toe nails. Usually the baby toes, but on my right foot I've managed to destroy the nailbed of my second toe so badly that the nail all but refuses to grow back. I love the feeling of the flesh and nail being torn and I love the hot cool feeling of the blood pouring out. I know something is wrong with me...I hate and love it, if you can imagine that...I guess I'm off to read more testimonials now and to learn more about this...Thanks for a safe place. Much appreciated.
RobotGal
February 13, 2012
It's always embarrassing to go get a pedicure and have the pedicurist ask you what happened to your feet. Glad I'm not the only one! I cut into the corners of my toenails to rip out a slight hangnail, but to do so I end up cutting out half the nail. Makes me toenails look really bad. I don't like the bleeding per se (that's usually when the shame kicks in) but the brief moment when you can rip out that nail or that chunk of skin feels really good. And (excuse the grossness) I love chewing on the skin afterwards.
Kasey187
November 08, 2011
I'm nineteen and have been doing this for a couple years, I can't believe how many other people do it, I was always embarrassed and thought it was weird to, especially when swimming and it becomes more obvious, I think somebody else said this to. Never considered it being anxiety related but that does make sense for me. The only thing i have found is that false nails help a little bit if you can afford them as you are less able to pick,
letrys
November 10, 2011
They say it's not always necessarily an OCD thing but an aftermath of using methamphetamines, having a substance abuse problem, depression/anxiety, or having a family member with a substance abuse problem. Thankfully it's a recognized disorder and there -is- treatment for it (both pharmalogical and behavioral). Good luck to you.
Mr Mahon
December 12, 2011
I'm a 12 year old boy and I've done skin picking since I was 9 and I just want to stop cause at school weave got Dance and P.E and that's barefoot and I try and sit at the back of the room to try and hide my right foot. I'm glad I'm not alone in the UK and I feel more comfort when I talked about my problems when someone has them anal. I just want to stop because if my son/ daughter says what's that on your foot daddy I'll feel disgusted. Can anyone help ;(
serena
January 10, 2012
listen im one year older than you and first off my grammar is bad. when your this age your just starting to like girls and your going threw hormones. i promise it sucks. but the main thing you need to think about isn't being embarresed it should be about how to get the girl haha. for the longest time i would wear long sleves in the summer. and thats been since i was in the 3rd grade. i know its embarising when people see them but you have to embrace it and say i dont care about what you people think i am happy about who i am thats the frist step to healing. be proud of yourself is always important. i am a 13 year old girl and i have put up with this always. i stopped for a while but i am starting again. i am getting back to stopping. i hope this has helped(: *i will stop*
alec79
January 30, 2012
I'm a 50 y/o female who has been peeling/picking skin from my toes, heels/bottoms of my feet since I was 18 or so? I peel the skin so badly sometimes that it's hard to walk because of the pain. It's so disgusting to me-the peeling and eating of the skin. I go into a "zone" like I'm in a trance when I'm picking and eating. I know it's anxiety-related and it's humiliating and embarrassing. I had no idea there was a clinical term for this. I go through periods where I leave my feet alone, use a pumice stone to keep them smooth, but then there's the impulse to peel and pick around my toe nails. I'll try keeping my toe nails painted and taking care of my feet, then I'll go off and not take care of them any more. I hate this compulsive behavior. I used to pick my scalp and form scabs that would bleed. I would pick and eat those also. It was so rewarding to have a big scab on my head to pick off and eat. I quit that as I got older and my hair thinned and it was visible to others when I had these sores on my scalp. I was sexually abused by a family member when I was a child. I've also suffered from anorexia and bulimia. Sigh. I also have keratosis pilaris-bumpy skin on my arms and legs primarily and I have picked the ingrown hairs from those tiny bumps for so many years I can't remember. I have scars on my arms from picking those areas also. Wow, I feel pretty fucked up. What's more fucked up is that I'm pretty limber and I can actually put my foot to my mouth for short periods of time to chew on my toenails--wow. I admitted that.
Tonychen
February 09, 2012
I'm a 12 year old boy in new Zealand. It started from when I was cutting my toenails, I began to also cut away the skin around my feet. I pulled it out and ate it. Now I pick ate it whenever I'm sitting down barefoot, even sometimes cutting open the skin so it's easier to pick at it. When I do physical education or just run around I have to go bar effect and I'm always afraid to show my feet. Help me!

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