Relief in not being alone.

Hi. I'm a 17yr old girl who's been picking for years now. I think it started when my mom got cancer. I can't explain why I pick, but I know the feeling I go for. I pick for a release of tension, for that "pop!" that some of you have talked about. Whether it's a zit, a clogged pore, stretch mark, anything that will give a release. It started on my arms, where little itty-bitty zit-like things were, and it's now attacked my chest. I am OBSESSED with doing it. Even though the scars it leaves are extremely embarrassing, even though a doctor will probably notice someday during a brest exam that I have scars everywhere, even though people ask me what's wrong with my arms, I can't stop it. Not alone. I've tried. The best I can do is to cut my nails short, but that only lasts for a few days until they grow back. I can't take it anymore. I do have some depression/anxiety problems, but I'm being treated for those with Wel-butrin. In all other aspects, I'm a normal person! I have friends, I'm very involved at my school with drama, choir, show choir, track, and the school newspaper. But there's this compulsion that overtakes me when I'm alone, forcing me to hide all the marks and scars when I'm with my friends. Only a few know about it, but I can tell they think it's weird, except one girl, who once would hurt herself because of depression. Why do I do this? I just want to be happy with myself. I want to wear more feminine shirts, I want to wear tanktops. I want to feel beautiful again. I want to be able to look in the mirror and not attack myself. Why is that so hard? I sometimes feel like a freak, and I know many of you do too. I thought I was alone, but now I know I'm not. MPWY-my username- stands for Make Peace With Yourself. That's all I want, that's all I need. Please help me.