21-Day Challenge

I'm in! At 30 years old, I'm tired of acne that I'm pretty sure wouldn't be there (or at least be as bad) if not for the fact that I constantly have my hands all over my back, chest, neck, scalp and face, picking, squeezing and touching. I've tried to stop several times, with no luck. I'm glad to have found this community and hope it will help me stick to it this time. I also cut my fingernails down to the quick - hoping this helps too. Day one...

I'm going to try this challenge...Day 1.

since i can't wait until tomorrow morning to start, im starting now, at 3:30 in the afternoon and seeing how far i make it. every day at 3:30 will start anew. I'm gonna do it this way because I get the urge at night after my shower and before bed to stand in the mirror and pick. So hopefully, since that would mean the next day I couldn't count it, I will pick less. Here I go!

day 4 woo hoo!!!

Finished day 12.

Starting midnight tonight is day 1 for me. I have a new boyfriend, its a long distance relationship. I'd love to look amazing for him when I see him on January 19th. I feel like this is going to be really, really difficult but I HAVE to do this. Thanks for taking the time to listen, everyone!

day one!!! I'm hopeful and praying for a fresh start to a new way of life

Hello everyone, I relate to you all so much. For me, I have eczema. I feel like I am addicted to the strongest drug you can get, because when I scratch at my eczema, it is pure ecstasy, and of course this causes my skin to be much worse and it gets really red and I pretty much always bleed or at least tear open skin. Then when those areas start healing and begin flaking I always pick at it, I pick every tiny flake I can get and pick the scabs. Sometimes if I have let an area go good for a couple days and it is very flaky I'll start scratching at it and watch hundreds of tiny skin flakes fall like snow. It is a horrible cycle. It has caused me to hate myself, which makes me do it more. It is basically my coping method for everything. I have caught myself going to scratch or pick and then retrack what I was just thinking about, and it is always something negative about myself, or something I am anxious about. So for me I know it is highly compulsive and anxiety driven. I am sick of it all. Sometimes I scratch my face and neck and then I and deep red and flaking and when I look at myself in the mirror I feel rage, and deep sadness. Then the self hatred flows like water. It goes so far as when I first wake up in the morning and move a little I feel scabs tearing open and open skin sticking to my clothes and I just want to stay in bed all day and dream because it's better than reality. WHAT KIND OF EXISTENCE IS THAT!?!?! I simply can't go on like this, and I know my will to stop is strong enough to do it for real. I remember a while ago I had let my skin get really good and it felt pretty much all healed, and I went out that night and went to a party and was talking to everybody and felt so good and HAPPY. That night I felt like it was the first time I was ever happy in my life. I was beaming. Then I think back to when I was really young and I used to bite my nails so far down and then take a nail clipper and clip off the skin underneath my nails, I had NO IDEA why I was doing that. I just remember it felt so good to do that. And I know I have been plagued by this my entire life. I have recently stopped using cigarettes and any drugs and now this is the final "drug" or habit that I need to eliminate in order to live a pure life. As of right now my skin is much better than it has been before, and I need to tell myself every time I go to pick or scratch that by doing it for a few SECONDS I am setting my self back DAYS of healing time. There is a tiny instant before my nails meet my skin where I am aware of it about to happen, and at that moment In time I make the choice to either do it or not. It happens so fast that it is incredibly easy to just justify it. I think for me meditation and breathing will get me through this. When I feel the urge to scratch my skin or pick a scab, just breath deep and remember this is not what I want for myself, and that's not who I want to be. Our hands are meant to CREATE not DESTROY!!! Good luck to everyone. You can do it, I know I can do it. Day 1 for me will be tomorrow since I am about to go to bed and I definitely picked and scratched to day. I wish we could all have a group hug or something haha, I never talked about my skin this much in detail to anybody.

i understand. even when im picking, i know its wrong, but i still do it, i guess because i dont care enough or have enough willpower. sometimes i can really make myself beleive i am making things better. its just a sheer compulsion, stemmed by anxiety and impulsivity. everyone has their vices, this may just be one that is not always easily understood. i got to day 4 of my 21 day challenge and at first was really discouraged, but i feel like i will start over and try again and let you all know how it goes next time around. fail one, on to part two. i hope.