New and suffering

Hang in there.... I seriously am going through the same exact thing as you. It is a horrible feeling. Inside you are screaming at yourself to stop but your hands wont. I personally feel like my problem has spiraled out of control. It is effecting my relationship really bad. We constantly get into fights about it.. After I get yelled at to stop. I will stop for maybe a minute and then I end up going right back to it. I picked myself raw as well. Then I end up attacking my chest and my arms. I wear tons of makeup when I go out trying to hide it but recently it is getting more noticeable even with the makeup on. Someone suggested to put on a clay mask. I tried that but it only lasts for so long. Ten minutes or so after the mask was off I went picking again. When I am home I put bandages all over my finger tips. That helped for a bit. But right before bed when I took them off I attacked my face pretty bad. I almost feel like I need to put bandages on my fingers at all times. Try not to doubt yourself with recovery. I know with a proper therapist Im sure it will get better. I am seeking to get a therapist as well to help me with this certain issue.

Hi vix, I so understand what you're going through. I'm in a quite similar situation. I've been picking real bad for about 4-5 years. I nearly messed up my graduation from university. It was my final year when I started skipping exams 'cause I knew I'd have to explain my class mates why I looked like hell and I just didn't know what to say... Anyway, I'm gonna be 30 soon and I still live in my parents' place. They fully support me finacially and pay for my treatment, because I'm not really capable of getting and keeping a job for now. They of course don't ever miss a chance to remind me how useless and ugly I am. It's probably just their way of making me stop, but this only makes me feel worse and naturally to pick even more!! They just don't get it... maybe not even trying to. However I'm so done feeling guilty about the whole thing. It's not like any of us chose it, right? It's a disorder/illness call it whatever. The thing is we simply cannot control it. My advice would be - don't ever lose hope and stop looking for any possible help you can get. We are all different and we are where we are right now for many differernt reasons, such as messed up childhood, all sorts of psychological traumas etc. etc. My opinion is that you can't sucessfully fight the habit if you don't fight the cause. I know it's a horribly hard step to make, but I believe that proffesional assistance is necessary. Therapy usually helps, but keep in mind that it's a long process so you shouldn't expect quick results. You may also have to try a few therapists to find the one that you would make a connection with and feel comfortable talking to. I personally tried many before I found the one I wasn't disappointed with. Therapy in combination with meds could be even more effective... I was also embarrased to go see doctors and talk about all the horrible things I'd done to myself. To be honest I did it only 'cause my parents made me, but now I don't regret it at all. I've been in a therapy for 2 years now and I do see some improvement. I started to feel better and as a result I scratch less. Well... of course I'm no expert in this field to tell you what to do. And I would personally hate if someone else told me what to do. (I mean... what do they know, right?) But try to think of it this way - if you could cope with this problem yourself, wouldn't have you done it already? I needed lots of time myself to finally decide to make this step and to admit that no way I'm gonna win this fight alone. Maybe you still need time too, but I hope that my experience will encourage you. Posting in this forum is a brave step too. And you've done it... so congrats! :) By the way, I read that there were people who completely recovered from this particular disorder. If they did, I believe we can do it too, so don't give up :)