One hour or One Day ... at a time

Do not give up! You are beautiful!

it is the end of my day and i've actually done well, for me that is. i have been bandaged up since i returned home (i did have to go out on an emergency and put makeup on before doing so), and have been fighting the itching sensation all evening. i addressed the itching by *reverse scratching*, that is, placing my fingernails flat on my skin and flicking them gently upwards rather than scratching downwards. i caught myself about to pick but managed to stop myself !!! i am feeling quite itchy so i think i will take an antihistamine before going to sleep so i won't scratch where my bandages aren't or be tempted to remove a bandage. if i can successfully get to bed without picking now, it will be a whopping 12-1/2 hours since i've picked !! Feel free to add your experiences to this if you wish. And by all means share your tactics. We can learn from what works and what doesn't from each other. For me, bandaging has been my saving grace. the latex free little clear round ones with largish (compared to other round ones) gauze pads measuring about 1/2 inch square made by riteaid. i'd also be interested in to know favourite brands of lotion or moisturizers because my skin is super sensitive to them and many things. i can't even use neo or polysporin. i'm even suspicious of the jojobo oil wondering if it is contributing to the itchiness.

today has been pretty good. i did not pick like i normally would have done. i did scrub a bit harder with my washcloth tho. does that equate to picking? i also lightly scratched around the bandages because my skin itched. i just scratched lightly and didn't pick any scabs or heads because they are covered. my lesions in my eyebrows are now finally dry and crusty and oh so tempting to scratch off but i have so far resisted!! i don't want to keep bandaging them up tho as i think air would be good for them now. and a break *somewhere* from the bandage adhesive. i know my hands should simply not be on my face whatsoever. but i did not gouge or use my trusty tweezers. i'm bandaged up for the night now and looking at the clock, i believe i might be at the 35 hour mark unless the scrubbing and/or face touching and mild scratching at itchy nonspecific areas counts against me. what's the verdict? i do believe posting here is helping me by being open and accountable to someone other than my significant other. thank you for reading this and responding if you wish to.

actually, this is a great idea - these posts are pretty much like an online journal of your struggles through this - this is great! i think maybe everyone should start one just for the purpose of letting off steam that comes from the issue, etc. i love to see how people are handling the issue, even if they don't make it past day 2 (which is hard hard hard...). i will continue to see how you are doing with this, and i will also make my own new post so everyone can track how i'm doing as well, after all, the secrecy of this thing really beats my confidence in the face because i feel i'm not like everyone else, in a bad way. but we are definitely beautiful! and strong so we can do this!

oh dear. i am alone again now and am experiencing difficulty. my fingers keep exploring and tho i try to just make assessments i've managed to do a bit of picking. enough to smooth one area since it was mostly healed but another bled. i immediately bandaged it. the itching sensations are getting to me. i think i'll take an antihistamine. i washed up upon waking and applied tronolane and then pure vitamin e. the former to address inflammation and the itch, the latter to provide moisture to the surrounding areas. so i guess my time, about 50 hours when i picked that little bit, must be set back to zero at 3:30 pm today. i resolve to do better. with this forum it will help. and by all means, feel free to share your experiences. :)

my bad. i must go bandage up. i can't leave my sores unbandaged. not while i am alone it seems. only four sores, but four too many. it's a good thing i keep the sores on my legs bandaged or i'm sure i'd be messing with them too. bandages are my saving grace and i guess i'll keep the company afloat for a time yet. i'm off to bandage up now. :(

I think gloves is the best idea i've had so far. Im going to start in the morning.

my resolve to do better today didn't last long but even at the end of this day, all totaled, i am doing better! i assess how i am doing by the number of bandages i require on my body on a nightly basis. there have been times when i have required 60 + bandages! over the last week i was needing about 20 nightly. then i came upon this site with my resolve to do better. together with feeling less alone with my problem now that i am sharing here, and my adoption of a serious change in approaches to addressing this affliction, i have noted an improvement despite my having picked this evening! the total number of bandages that i will be using tonite is only 12! my sores on my legs are healing really slowly and still require bandages. my arm doesn't have any sores requiring bandages now, and my face and neck is down to needing only 6 bandages, down from 12! i credit adding vitamin d, bromelaid, and chromium to my regimen of vitamins and supplements that i've been on for a long time as these new ones are touted to helping wounds heal, using warm water rather than hot water when washing my face, using perform liquid cleanser for the wash, doing a final cold water rinse to close my pores and to address inflammation, treating red inflamed areas with tronolane to address inflammation and itching, removing my makeup as soon as possible, doing my night time washing and bandaging regimen as early as possible, drinking more green tea, getting lots of sleep, committing in this forum to resist picking one day at a time towards reaching 40 days and permanence, and sharing my progress and trials. tomorrow, my new day 1, i hope will be easier knowing my skin has healed somewhat despite that i "fell off the wagon" today and maybe I will do better and better. thank you for reading this and sharing my small success. feel free to share yours and what has helped you. i am ending this day with a :)

today i picked again. enough to have to start tomorrow as day one, but not too much as my sores are fewer as many have been bandaged for a couple of days. some have healed over enough to not require bandages tonight and ones that were on my face and neck that were slow to heal but needed to be unbandaged for the day were too vulnerable so three got "mined" and a fourth got attacked undeservedly. still, tho, i'm one bandage fewer on my face and neck and three fewer on my legs but i had to put one on my butt so am down to 9 bandages for the night. a small victory yet a defeat on the 40 day or rather 40 hour plan. i hope to do better tomorrow. tomorrow i will need to unbandage but will only unbandage the three sores on my face and will keep the two on my neck and will wear a turtleneck. thank goodness for pants, long sleeves, and turtle necks. my arm is coming along nicely as long as i resist the urge to scratch at the small scabs still there. the redness around those sores have really diminished which helps me keep away from that area as i see how good it is doing, however slow it is taking. i'm sure finding this place and posting progresses and failures here is helping me be better than i normally would be doing. i'm continuing with my vitamins, supplements, warm wash/warm rinse/cool rinse regimen and bandages as well as thinking about accountability to help me on this course to hopefully beat this obsession one day. i will also be calling to inquire about hypnotherapy tomorrow. thank you for reading this. good luck with you too. and feel free to add how you are doing. :) - edit: oops injured a finger on one hand and my thumb on another, but not by picking, and will have to bandage those up too, now :(

not the best day today. 11 bandages tonight. two are on new ones :( i really need to discipline myself better. i really really want to get to both no picking and no bandages.

no bandages last night !! my diligence with keeping my clothing hideable sores bandaged for days at a time, together with my nightly bandaging up and my leaving my largish sores on my neck bandaged up all day in addition to all night, brought my sores to a nicely healed state. i had no weeping or bleeding open sores after my half hour bath in a skin soothing mixture of epsom salts, baking soda, and powdered milk in my bath water so i slept for the first time in i don't know how long with no bandages on my body !! and i've managed to not pick for 30.5 hours !! i hope i manage to do my nightly regimen without causing any harm to my healing sores such that i can sleep without bandages again tonight. i believe all that the recent changes to my regimen have really made a difference and i'm hoping i'll get past 48 hours to work on the next 24 hours one hour at a time and so on and so on until i can consider this horrible habit kicked. :)

53 hours and no picking !! :) after a long day out in the world washing my face at the end of the day last night made 2 problem areas bleed so i needed 2 bandages on my face overnight. if need be, i'll wear 2 tonight but i don't think i'll need more as every other sore seems to be healed enough to not need it and i am resolved to not pick and create the need for any other bandages tonight. hopefully these last 2 problem areas will heal up soon. i didn't have to wear too much makeup today either as my inflamed areas are lessening with my latest changes in my regimen and my good efforts to keep my fingernails and tweezers away from what they usually would be attacking. maybe i i'll make the 5 day mark! one hour at a time. :) and one day at a time :)

64 hours and no picking !! :):):) i still need 2 bandages tonight, though. the washcloth made my 2 sores bleed again. they weren't ready to heal. just 8 hours of being bandaged up last night didn't quite heal them enough and i had to go out into the world today so had to apply makeup after washing and moisturizing at the beginning of this past day and the day was a long one. i probably should have washed and bandaged up earlier this evening but didn't. i need to keep the bandages on longer than 8 hrs. one of these days i'll need to have a bandage day and stay in rather than going out into the world and i know that'll help them heal up. then i will just have to wait for the redness to subside. then perhaps i won't require the makeup even. and as long as i keep refraining from letting my fingers exploring and finding bumps and picking at them i'll be doing good. and believe me, the temptation is there !! i'll have to keep up with the self talk and continue with my regimen which seems to be helping calm down my skin and helping it heal and for whatever reason new bumps don't seem to be forming. maybe the green tea is helping. maybe the additional vitamin d, maybe the chromium, maybe the warm rather than hot washes, maybe the cold rinses, maybe the cetaphil moisturizer, maybe the tronolane, maybe the mometasone cream, or the right combination of all of the above combined with resolve to not pick from reading about the disorder, but whatever it is, it seems to be working !! almost 3 days now !! :):):):)

85 hours and counting !! today has been difficult with the anxious news about chili and the potential tsunamis but so far so good. it was a bandage day home alone. hopefully, my two sores will have healed good enough to not require bandages tomorrow night. and of course, hopefully i will not pick during the night or tomorrow. 3.5 days! i feel good. i can't remember managing to not pick for more than a few waking hours, let alone 3.5 days !! :):):)